


Minor vs. Major

by PitchGold



Category: Code Geass
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Sex, Coffee Shop, Consensual Sex, Consent Issues, Domestic Violence, Drug Addiction, Drug Use, Gay Sex, M/M, Military, Non-consensual sex, Oral Sex, Past Violence, Sexual Violence, Threats of Rape/Non-Con, Threats of Violence, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-07
Updated: 2016-02-12
Packaged: 2017-12-28 18:16:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 52,063
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/995006
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PitchGold/pseuds/PitchGold
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Major Suzaku Kururugi has been quietly given an office post for an incident his superiors would like to keep equally as quiet. He intends to simply wait it out till he can get back to his normal life, which is until he meets Lelouch, the boy who works at the local Barnes & Noble, and unfortunately a minor.</p><p>As the tale goes on Lelouch finds keeping his lies straight harder than he ever imagined as his own life and Suzaku's are quickly entangled when Schneizel el Brittania steps in with intent of becoming the master puppeteer. In an effort to free himself, Lelouch stains his hands a violent shade of red and finds out that Suzaku's have already been stained and have just been given a fresh coat.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Major Suzaku Kururugi

Because he really hadn't wanted anything else, he had joined the military. Because he had always been good with physical things, he'd left on his first deployment before the rest of his barrack mates had even finished training. Because he had always been good at following orders to the upmost extreme, he had achieved one hundred percent with zero casualties on almost every assignment given. Because it didn't make sense for him to not accept his officer's promotion, he had accepted it. Because he didn't know what else to do, he'd simply saluted upon orders to serve another tour. Because he couldn't bring himself to leave that soldiers body in the cold mud, he now pinned that medal on before every formal event right next to the last four he'd been given. Because he couldn't come up with a better reason not to he had taken the command post. Because he hated every loss taken to his battalion, he had taken the vague job offer he'd turned down year after year after year. Because he hadn't been surprised at what it all entailed, he had passed his first mission with flying colors and simply washed the blood out of his uniform with care. Because he knew he'd never be anything better than he was as a killer, he'd excelled at what he did. Because he couldn't remember the last time he'd told someone no, he'd given a "yes, sir" and gone ahead with his next mission.

But now—

He stood at the desk—his new desk. He hadn't been stupid. He –well he wasn't sure what he had been. Had there been a "because" when he had looked that solder in the eye and waited for the gunshot that never came he may not have had to stand there. His hands shook as they skirted over the small plaque at his finger tips. "Major Kuurugi" was printed across the front in basic font.

* * *

"You need to take some time off."

His superior had sat at that same desk the day when Suzaku had been swore into that special unit. He was sure that the desk was a standard size, but it looked so much bigger with Bismarck's lumbered and broad form seated behind it that he was never sure. The same man didn't look up as he spoke to him. His tanned hand held a pen for which was quickly signing their way through the papers before him. Suzaku knew those papers, especially from the name of Suzaku Kururugi printed throughout the same said document.

"Weinberg said you didn't even flinch. That's a problem." He said it with irritation. Suzaku knew why, problems were hindrances, and a hindrance was unacceptable. "Take this job for a good year or so and after you get a hang of yourself I'll call you back."

Suzaku gave a solemn nod. He wasn't sure what else to do. He—what had he done that night? He couldn't think of it. He'd seen it coming and he hadn't even tried to stop it. But that was behind him, just like ever thing else. He just needed to move on now. It had been a minor insurrection, and now was simply something that needed to be forgotten.

"I will call you back." Bismarck assured as Suzaku's eyes fleeted up to find he was being looked at, directly. It wasn't a promise or an assurance as much as an informative.

"I understand sir." Suzaku said as he gave another sharp nod. He straightened unconsciously just a little, his hands clasped just a bit tighter behind his back, his feet squared just a bit more precise. He knew he was a good soldier, if nothing else, he knew he was a really good soldier. He also knew that Bismarck knew this, even if Suzaku was still ever ready to prove it yet again.

"Good." That stare of ice turned back down to the paper work placed on the desk. It weighed the room down as it ever bore witness to what was happening. It wasn't a demotion, but it was close enough to that that Suzaku despised his name upon it. His stomach churned at the thought. He wasn't unaccustomed to failure, he just simply was unaccustomed to it in the one thing he knew he could do very well. "Get over this quickly, Kururugi. I don't have time to let you be idle." Bismarck's voice rumbled over the words, forced Suzaku to listen, and forced him to recognize the unspoken order.

"Yes, sir." Suzaku said as he swallowed down the unneeded lump in his throat. He knew that Bismarck's words had been meant as nothing more than a command, but at the same moment there had been implications, of resignation, of disappointment.

Suzaku hated disappointment, at least when applied to him. He hated felling it for himself, and he hated it worse from other people. He hated it in high school when he'd gotten it over and over again as he'd asked yet again to have a grammatical, mathematical, or even a historical concept reiterated. He'd hated it when he'd turned his grades into his coaches for pregame checks. He hated it for every shot missed or bench time spent. He hated to see it in the eyes of his principle every time he ended up back before his desk, bloodied knuckles and no remorse, while he was informed of his opponent's condition. But mostly he hated it because over all it reminded him of one man, his father, and of all things he didn't want to be reminded of his father.

* * *

His eyes followed the lines of his new office from the book case, that held books he had never and probably would never read, to the decorative gun cabinet, which held every gun he'd ever had the privilege of firing and a few he wouldn't mind to get his hands on. He'd only had an office once before in his life when he'd been in charge of a command. Of course, then he'd been on active duty so he could have counted the amount of times he'd stepped into the office between his hands, and how many times he'd spent more than a minute or so with in that office on only one hand.

However, he now sat at his desk and waited. For what he wasn't sure, he'd never had an office post, and he'd never wanted an office post. So he shifted forward, noticing the creak in the office chair, and leaned over the desk. He noticed his desk didn't have a creak when he leaned his weight on it. He shifted his weight within the chair and listened closely to that tell-tale creeeaaaakkkkk.

* * *

An hour later Suzaku sat on the floor of his office, the final screw in his hand. The rest of the pieces were scattered around him in order of dismantlement and the room was now bare of an office chair. He looked at the wooden piece in his hand before he scanned over the rest of them as well. He'd never tried to put a chair back together, but then again, he'd never tried to take one apart either. He knew how to take a lot of other things apart, most of which were explosive, but never a chair before.

The door opened suddenly. He turned his head to look up at the guests, the screw still held up in his hands.

"Major?" The private stood at the door, his hand still at the knob, looking first to where the Major should have been then down to where the Major was. "…Major?" There was a bit more apprehension in his voice now.

"Yes?" Suzaku looked up at the private with a bland expression.

"Uhm," the private started as he seemed to try and remember what exactly he had gone there for. "Uh, Colonel Li Britannia, would like to know if you have made up your mind about the recruitment offer?"

"Recruitment?" Suzaku repeated. Suzaku hated recruitment assignments, almost more than his new office. He'd somehow found a way out of it when as a Warrant Officer he'd had been assigned it more than once. According to his superiors, he had a good way with people and a nice face to use for recruitment. He didn't know how they'd ever come to the conclusion after all he'd been proven really good at was killing people vs. talking it over with them. Then again, he knew he was good with people on a common everyday level. He was just fucked up enough to know that unless it was in the context of sex or the mundane he wouldn't be much of a persuader. He could already imagine some kid asking him "hey why did you join the military?" He was smart enough to know that an answer along the lines of, "I'm good at shooting people" wouldn't be age appropriate nor very kosher.

"Uhm yes." The private looked a little unsure of himself at this point.

"Well…" Suzaku weighed the possibility of good behavior getting him out of this office sooner and the distinct feeling of nausea at the mere thought of spending hours talking and smiling and acting like he really wanted to be there, when he didn't. In the end he figured getting on his new commanding officer's good side won out—mostly for the fact he wanted his old commanding officer back. "Yes, well tell her I'd be glad too." …begrudgingly, but for her with a smile!

"Excellent, Sir. I will inform her immediately." The Private said as he turned to leave.

"Private," Suzaku stood, retrieving his uniform jacket from the desk.

The Private stopped in his tracks and looked back, alert and ready for orders. "Sir?"

Suzaku pulled his arm into the first sleeve before pushing his other through the oposite. "Do you know where I could possibly get a good cup of coffee?" Not that he needed it, but hated his office—a lot.

"Well, sir, there is a Barnes & Noble down the street."

Suzaku stopped for a moment to think. He was pretty sure he had asked for a good cup of coffee. "Is there anything else?" he added in a small smile as not to make the Private seem inadequate.

"Uhm, well let's see, most coffee places are farther downtown, but I think there's possibly a Denny's nearby."

Barnes & Noble it is!

"Or actually the cafeteria on base here serves coffee!"

He was definitely sticking to Barnes & Noble.

"Thank you, Private." Suzaku said, he plastered the smile over his face as he reached for his wallet and keys he'd placed within his desk drawer. "You've been helpful."

"Of course, Sir!" the private beamed before departing.

Suzaku gave a sigh before he looked back at the chair…or at least what used to be the chair. He wasn't sure if he should try and pick up a new chair or not. After a minute he wagered that he was indeed going to a book store, and a "how-to" book was much cheaper than a chair.

* * *

Finding the Barnes and Noble was the easy part, finding a book on how to fix an office chair hadn't been. Finally after traveling a third time down the same isle, he decided to go for the coffee instead. Now he found himself standing in line before the counter and one of the most extensive menus he'd ever seen, in a Barnes and Noble or any other kind of café. The man in front of him chattered on to the girl at the counter without any signs of stopping, which suited Suzaku fine since he really had no clue what he even planned on ordering. Choice overload was never something he did well with. The man in front of him moved away a moment later, without much notice from Suzaku.

"I'm going on break. Take over the register for me, Lelouch." The girl chimed, still much to Suzaku's oblivious nature.

It was a short moment, but Suzaku was still lost, looking up at the menu. Where the hell was just regular coffee? He didn't really even have a preference to brand, just a little cream and he was always fine with it.

"Having trouble, soldier?" a deep and low voice asked.

"Oh," Suzaku realized he was up and he still didn't know what he wanted. He gave a chuckle as he looked down. "Do you guys have just coffee at all?"

The teller was leaned over on to the high counter lazily, his deep amethyst hued eyes hooded. At the comment, his eyes sprang to life and a smile broke through the bored expression.

Suzaku couldn't help but smile back as the dark haired boy sat up and faced him, with such a great smile Suzaku didn't have a choice in the matter.

"I'd imagine you could have just gotten that on base, am I right?" The boy said. It was presented as a question but had a hint of statement of fact behind it. Regardless, deep violet eyes sparked with amusement and he stood properly to face the conversation a half a second later.

"I probably could have." Suzaku reasoned with a shrug of his shoulders.

"But clearly didn't?" The boy continued for him. "Is there a reason behind that?"

Suzaku couldn't help the smile that stretched across his lips now. He knew this game, it'd been a while since he'd played, but he was pretty sure he was still just as good at it. And if memory served him correctly, at one point in time he was more than good at it. Not in the same way that he was good at his job. His job was conditions(his broad body type coupled with fast reflexes and hand eye coordination) meeting more conditioning(that would be his ability to attract fights rather than avoid them), training(and a lot of it), and expectation(of his superiors and himself). This, on the other hand, was entirely natural. In high school, he'd discovered it first with the girls around his age, when he was looking for friendship. Then with the college girls he'd met on accident. Then, the most enjoyably, was with some of the other recruits. It had started out as need and basic depravity, but after a few times, Suzaku had realized how partial he was to seeing another male writhe under him. After that, of course, his job had become his sole ambition and constant endeavor. Not that sex had become something of lesser need, it was just that he no longer had a use for it, and really in the middle of an attack the ability to pull a sweet smile and a charming statement out of thin air didn't count for much.

But he wasn't anywhere near a warzone now. So he let the smile linger on his face a moment longer before he answered. "I really don't like my office." He said it off handish, but vague enough to hopefully spark inquiry.

"An office, huh?" The man said, a rather sharp flash of interest crossed his eyes. "Are you an officer yourself?"

Suzaku gave another bright smile. "Yeah, something along those lines," He knew saying "yeah, I'm only twenty four and already a major," had too much shock value to be profitable, let alone the fact that he hated to brag, about anything.

"Hmmm," the young man hummed. "So just a single then?" he snapped back to the register.

Suzaku smiled and gave a nod. The end of their conversation had ended a bit sooner for Suzaku's taste but it wasn't like he didn't still have ample opportunity, and if not today he still knew where to find the boy.

A smile was given to Suzaku under raven strands as the boy pushed the order into the machine before looking up again. "That will be dollar eighty six."

"Right," Suzaku said as he reached for his wallet. His eyes barely left deep amethyst.

The boy opened his mouth to speak again to only close it with an abrupt cut off.

"Hey-" the abrupt cut off of not only the boy but of the new voice, immediately called for the snap of Suzaku's head to the side. Suzaku wanted to strangle someone at that point. Before him stood two privates, one of which was being elbowed in the gut and the other caught mid-salute.

"Major!" the respectful one hollered as his went stiff as a board, and salute as equally tale tell. The other quickly composed himself and pulled into the same position. They were new recruits—and Suzaku wanted to kill them both.

"Major?" Suzaku's eyes pulled to the boy. There was confusion for the slightest second, then, something he really didn't like, resignation. Suzaku wanted to bang his head against the counter. Now it looked like he had lied to the boy and they'd just met and he hated the new recruits and he knew it would take a lot of fixing to get things back to a comfortable friendliness, let alone a real shot again. A small voice in his head pointed out that it was probably a good thing he didn't have a gun on him, because if so the two recruits would have been bleeding out on the floor while he looked up, smiled bright, and asked the boy to dinner.

He shifted his eyes back to the recruits; they after all were making a scene, which was the last thing he needed. "We're off base privates, no need for formalities."

"Yes sir!" the two gave an agonizing shout to add to injury.

He turned his head back to fully look at the boy at the register. He had a completely different demeanor now, and Suzaku wanted a gun for it. His posture had turned defensive, but not overly, like Suzaku was a stranger and nothing like he'd been just moments before. Amethyst eyes were on the register, his lips in a hard line, and his raven hair cast a shadow over his forehead.

Damn it! Now the boy thought Suzaku was a liar at the best and at the worst a manwhore if the base here had any reputation connected to it. He didn't know that for sure yet, but he could have a good guess that this is where a lot of soldiers came through for one thing or another, and almost every soldier was eager for some form of contact, not all very honest or honorable. Ergo, Suzaku now looked like a lying manwhore…great—why the hell did he leave his gun in his blasted awful office!

Nevertheless, he'd have to attempt a comeback later. The boy was far too defensive right now and he'd thoroughly blow first impressions at this point. He would consider giving up completely, but the boy was very attractive and Suzaku very much liked his sharp wit. The point was that the boy was too much of what he liked to pass up easily. But he'd have to work on this another day, when the cards were in his favor, and the impression of lying scum, whore, conman wasn't so vivid in the boy's mind.

Now he simply handed over his visa and waited patiently as his card was swiped and he signed the receipt. Behind him, the recruits had broken into their own comfortable conversation, but the stillness between Suzaku and the boy hadn't been ruptured.

That didn't stop Suzaku from noticing the long elegant fingers that took the receipt back, or the brush of dark lashes when he looked down at the signature before tucking it into the till.

"Thank you," The boy said in a much more reserved tone. His face was kept emotionless, his eyes no longer made contact, jaw set in a defiant sort of way. Yes, it would have to be much later before Suzaku was allowed a second chance.

But that didn't mean he had to deepen the bad impression. "You're Welcome."

Amethyst flashed up and Suzaku smiled as eye contact was made. It wasn't a huge smile, one just big enough to be considered friendly.

He didn't get a smile back. It was clearly a warning, not a glare, the brow wasn't low enough for that, but it was still a very clear warning. And Suzaku took it quickly picking up his order number and turning away. A minute later a girl behind the coffee machine handed Suzaku his cup and he gave a smile as he noticed that the boy was for sure glaring as he helped the new recruits. Maybe it wouldn't take as much as he thought to get back to square one.

* * *

His opportunity came sooner than he'd expected it too. After scouring the rows he'd found a book, he wasn't sure if it would be very helpful but if not he a. made more money than he ever managed to use(most of the time he was never in the country so paying for things like rent, car payment, or insurance were all unneeded. Overall, it seemed like most of his money went to uniform replacements and first aid kits) and b. he always knew he'd end up returning it anyway (it after all was a useless a book, besides he hardly ever was in possession of an apartment let alone a bookcase to put the book in). He took a sip at his coffee as he looked the book over one last time and started his way to the register. He stopped as he did.

A grin formed as he looked across the store to the small open area used for the café, several booths and tables dotted the place. What caught his eyes through the filled tables was one table with only one occupant. He wagered quickly the possibility of just leaving without another word, but if he wanted a more welcoming situation he wasn't sure he was going to get it.

So he took the last swallow of coffee, for good measure and weaved his way over to the raven haired boy. He sat alone at the table, but perfectly content, with a book open in front of him and a fork in his hand as he picked at a small Tupperware bowl of pasta.

"Are you reading out of convenience for the fact you work in a book store, or is it convenient that you like to read and work in a bookstore?" Suzaku asked as he approached.

Amethyst eyes looked up for a moment, and for that same moment Suzaku dreaded the look in those deep hued eyes. Then lenience sparked and, though without a smile, he answered. "I like to read, and it is convenient that I work in a book store, but regardless this isn't exactly a pleasant read."

Suzaku's could feel his brow furrow. To him almost nothing was exactly a pleasant read. Sunday football(playing or watching, but more so with the playing) was pleasant, swimming was pleasant, early morning hiking was pleasant, even a particularly brutal hockey game was amazingly more pleasant than sitting down to read, especially if it was good weather outside.

"I'm studying," A smile broke this time and Suzaku was thankful, for the smile and the explanation.

Suzaku took it as an invitation also, set his book on the table, and seated himself, intentionally, on the opposite side of the table. "What are you studying for?" He inquired.

He'd been warranted another smile. These smiles were different now, much more reserved and carful than the first. "I have ACT's coming up soon."

Suzaku grinned at that, college age, perfect. He'd be considered college age himself if not for his chosen profession. He knew a lot of recruits that joined the army for college specifically; he'd just never had the want or the need. He was very good at what he did after all.

"Is this your first time taking it?"He asked trying to keep the conversation up. He had never been much for the academics but if it was a means to an end he could skim over the topic with enough vigor to hopefully get him to a more engaging subject.

"No." The boy answered. Suzaku knew his smile grew just a little. The boy was possibly closer to his age than he'd earlier hopped.

"Have you taken it?" The boy asked. Even better, Suzaku thought, it was the boys turn to keep up the conversation now.

He shook his head. After all he'd already been portrayed as a liar, anymore lies could be detrimental, and in his defense he never lied the first time, he just didn't tell the whole truth. The thought hit him and he gave another shake of his head.

"I'm a Major, why would I need to?" That's it he told himself, admit up to it, and you could possibly be forgiven easily.

Or not…the boys face dropped. "I was informed of that." he said rather dry.

Suzaku sighed. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to not tell you."

"Why?" the question was very firmly placed, decided already that the boy wanted a completely honest answer. Through those amethyst eyes, Suzaku could see a kind of commanding nature—he wasn't sure how he felt about it either.

"Did you expect me to introduce myself as Major Kururugi?" Suzaku said trying to sound amused more than anything.

"I specifically asked you your rank." The boy answered, with no amusement at all.

"In my defense, you asked if I was an officer, which a Major is an officer rank, and also—"he pointed to the golden oak leaf metal at his uniform. A smile crept back into his lips.

The boy gave a sigh. "Whom."

Suzaku let his hand back down to the table as he looked at the boy, "whom what?"

"Whom a Major is of an officers rank. You used the wrong word." The boy said as he let out a small chuckle. "And I should have seen the insignia, you're right."

Suzaku wasn't sure if he understood the grammar part but he understood a chuckle and admittance. "Well thank you then! Though if you had recognized it I would have been very impressed."

The boy gave a bit wider smile this time. "You said your last name is Kururugi? Are you—" he trailed off.

"Second generation Japanese," Suzaku finished for him.

"Aw." The boy breathed. Suzaku couldn't help the slight smile it sparked, the other man managed elegance so easily. "And your first name?"

"Suzaku."

A long thin lipped smile stretched, a sincere one this time, and the boy put down the fork to extend his hand across the table. "Lelouch."

Suzaku gave in return a particularly warm smile as he lifted his hand. He changed his mind almost immediately as he was about to shake, instead he slid his fingers under Lelouch's long pale digits to hold his fingers and run his thumb over the slight boney knuckles. It was, after all, better to make an impression than just something other wise generic. He heard as Lelouch's breath caught in his throat, and Suzaku eyes flickering to his reaction. He gave good reaction to surprises, good to know for further reference. Amethyst eyes were focused on their hands for just a moment longer before they adjusted upwards and Suzaku was quick to make eye contact. Pale lips pressed together, Suzaku wasn't sure how to read into the actions, but from what he could tell it wasn't something bad. Nervous most likely, anxious (oh god he could only hope), surprised a possibility, but it was most certainly not a glare and he in no way looked scared of him.

Lelouch's—Suzaku already loved that name—eyes fleeted down to the book, and he pulled his hand from Suzaku's loose hold.

"Black and Decker Complete Photo Guide to Home Repair," He read the title aloud. "You bought a house or something?"

Suzaku laughed. "No, I took apart my office chair."

Lelouch gave a light hearted chuckle as well. "On purpose?"

"Yeah," Suzaku continued to chuckle. "Well taking it apart proved easier than putting it back together." He lifted his arm to scratch the back of his head with a sheepish grin.

"I'd imagine." Lelouch leaned forward, his arm rested on the table and he tucked his chin into his palm all with a fluid motion. "Why were you ever taking it apart in the first place?"

"It had a squeak." He explained. "It was annoying and I wanted to fix it so… well I didn't quite manage that."

Lelouch gave a wide smile and another breath of chuckles. "So you figured you could fix it with a book?"

"Well, I wanted coffee too, and a book is cheaper than a new chair." He held up the book he picked for further inspection. "And it's even a picture guide as well, so maybe it will be double the help."

"I doubt that book will help you much." Lelouch said like he was trying to make it a light letdown.

Suzaku started to flip through it. "I don't know…it looks pretty comprehensive."

Pale fingers spidered over the edge and pulled the book down to the table top. Suzaku gave a smile to amethyst eyes. "It's a home repair guide." The owner of those same eyes explained.

"And I broke something, so it should tell me how to fix it." Suzaku reiterated.

"You took it apart an office chair, correct?"

Suzaku looked up from the book. "Well yeah." His face was blank, because his mind was black. He'd already told Lelouch that's what he did. He'd laughed about it, then Lelouch had laughed about it, then they had switched subjects to the book. Maybe Suzaku wasn't as good at this as he used to be…

"So it's like a puzzle." Lelouch said as his brow lowered a fraction of an inch and a smile Suzaku couldn't quite place stretched on to his lips. "All you have to do now is put it back together."

"I'm not very good with puzzles." Suzaku said trying to sound a little less lost than he really was. He gave an inward sigh, and they had started out so strong. He wasn't even sure where he had muffed it up at.

Lelouch's smile widened just a touch. "But I am."

Suzaku couldn't help the bright exuberant smile that came next as he leaned across the table farther. "How long till you're off?"

Lelouch stood fluidly and flipped the study guide shut as he did all with the same distinct smile. "I'm off now." He shut the Tupperware, the pasta still half eaten, and slipped it into the messenger bag Suzaku hadn't noticed was hanging off of his chair.

Suzaku stood as well. He wasn't sure what to say so he didn't say anything. It was in Lelouch's ball park now. Not that he wasn't ecstatic that Lelouch wanted to come and help him, but at the same time, this was going a lot faster than Suzaku ever planned. He'd thought that he might talk to him for a while, they could get friendly, then tomorrow he'd come back get coffee around the same time and flirt again as he paid, he'd possibly let their hands touch as he handed him his card and they'd get closer and that would be that. Possibly by Thursday he could score a number, then a day or two later a date. But apparently Lelouch had decided to skip all that and they were going to fix his chair, now, like a weird almost date—right now.

Lelouch pulled the light jacket on with the messenger bag over one shoulder. Suzaku picked up the book on the table to only have it slipped from his hand as Lelouch walked past. Lelouch discarded it on a random table of books, one of a completely different subject than home improvement by the way, and Suzaku followed him to the doors.

As Suzaku slipped his arm to hold the door open and Lelouch gave an abrupt stop. Suzaku mentally wanted to kick himself. He always did that. He had trouble keeping girls and boys straight, especially the fact that one appreciated it when he did things like held the door and the other didn't. Why couldn't they both just like the same things! He stopped, grimaced, and waited for a scolding.

Lelouch didn't turn just leaned back with a slight twist of his hips and turned his head to the side. "Are civilians allowed on base?"

Suzaku had to think for a moment before he could pull an answer out. He wasn't sure if he should still expect a scolding or not but he did know if he didn't answer that would warrant one for sure. "Uhm, yes, well you're allowed in my office at the least."

"Aw." He said and leaned forward. "And thank you, for the door that is."

Suzaku smiled. He had a feeling they were going to get along just fine.

* * *

"I thought you said you were bad at puzzles." Lelouch said as he laughed. He leaned against the desk drawers while Suzaku sat against the wall opposite to him, a half made chair in front of him.

"Well after elbowing you I feel obligated to be the one that fixes." He said. A screw driver was in hand as he twisted another screw into place.

"If you hadn't have stopped me when you did!"

Suzaku looked up. "You were putting the arm rests on the bottom."

"No." Lelouch said, "I was redesigning." he made sure to make it a point.

Suzaku gave a smile. This endeavor, at first, had seemed a little weird and possibly a bad idea, but now—well it had turned into an adventure very quickly. He learned a lot, about Lelouch and his office, in the process as well. One of them had just been reiterated to him. Lelouch never liked to be told he was wrong, or bad, at something. Teasing was fine, to a point, but Suzaku doubted that any real accusation would go over well.

"You told me you were good at puzzles." Suzaku said.

"I am and home improvement, which is what that was."

Suzaku threw him a look. "Because when I sit down at my desk I want to be able to know I have arm rests they just face the wrong direction."

"Its modern!" Lelouch shot back. "You're a Major; you need to be on the cutting edge of fashion."

"What part of this office really looks modern?"

"You told me you've been here for a day and a half." Lelouch reasoned with him as he lulled his head against the wood to capture him in those amethyst eyes. "You just haven't had time to bring it up to speed."

"I should have stuck with the book." Suzaku mumbled as he moved on to the next screw.

A well earned kick in the shin made him almost drop the screw driver.

"Ow!" Suzaku said.

Lelouch gave him a pointed glare. There was a conveyed and effective, "I'm so much better than any book and you better remember that," though the glare. But within a few moments the glare was gone and his eyes roamed to the window above Suzaku's head. Suzaku glanced up from his work. Mostly for the fact he enjoyed the view, but also because of the silence. It wasn't awkward but enough that Suzaku had wondered what Lelouch was occupied with.

Lelouch didn't look down as he spoke in a mellow, even tone. "It's a lot later than I thought it was."

Abruptly Suzaku noticed as well. He looked around his office, the fact of the dimming light and soft tones draining all color from the room making it clearer. How had it gotten so late?

"Wow," he breathed, before he let a chuckle slip. "Everyone else has probably already gone home."

Lelouch hummed a reply.

Suzaku finished up with the particular screw and set the half chair—thing aside. In pointing out the time, Lelouch had signaled that it possibly was about time he headed home. If nothing else, he wanted to not have a chair between them for a final conversation.

"How did you become a Major?"

Suzaku froze his eyes darted to the floor and he felt his breath still. This was an unexpected question, but even more, this wasn't a good question. A question he wasn't supped to have gotten for a very long time, let alone had to answer for longer, if he could manage to stall long enough. Then again, Lelouch didn't seem normal. He should have foreseen something along these lines, but he didn't and now he was left with deflection.

"I worked my way through the ranks, just like anyone else."

A delicate eyebrow arched. "You've worked your way through the ranks at your age?"

Suzaku gave a wide smile as he stood. He knew that at this point he had sent his own message with the action, but this subject needed to be killed quickly. He offered his hand down to Lelouch.

His raven hair splayed across his forehead, only added to the dimming colors of the room, and two bright amethyst stone eyes peered up, still looking for an answer that wouldn't come anytime soon. Suzaku offered his hand closer. Lelouch had flicked his eyes to it before going back up to Suzaku. Answer first apparently.

"You really don't even know how old I am." Suzaku pointed out.

Lelouch stretched a smile. "That wasn't an answer, Suzaku."

"We've just met." Suzaku explained as he gave a look to the clock. Eight fifteen was a lot later than he'd expected to keep Lelouch. He didn't like the thought. If they stayed together for much longer it could dip into something Suzaku wasn't interested in…at least, not at this point. He knew if they had sex tonight, tomorrow he wouldn't call him and he wouldn't go back to the bookstore to get coffee there again anytime soon. He just knew it, he'd done it before, several times, and he knew how it worked. He had at least a year here, and because of that he didn't want this to be a one nighter. He wanted casual yes, but not a fling. If nothing else while here he could enjoy companionship.

"Alright, I concede, but I want an answer at some point." Lelouch said with a huff.

Suzaku smiled at that. It implied there would be at the least a second meeting. He offered his hand closer for a final time. He was pleased as he felt Lelouch's long hand thread over his fingers. Once he had a good grasp he pulled and lifted the boy to his feet.

Suzaku imagined the gesture and motion being rather chivalrous and, if he dared say it, elegant, until Lelouch tried to stand. A fumble of feet had ensued and within that same moment Suzaku realized he was apparently the only coordinated one and caught Lelouch's weight before he pulled him to a stable stance. What he didn't notice was that in the process he had pulled the boy to him as well. So upon looking up, he was met with wide deep violet eyes. Suzaku recognized the look immediately He'd gotten it earlier that day at the book store when he'd touched Lelouch's hand.

This was indeed the same look, concentrated into deep violet, but it was so much more intense this time. There was nervousness, for sure, and anxiousness, but this time there was fear, just enough of it though that it drew Suzaku in farther. He leaned forward his hand slid up from the small of Lelouch's back. They shared breath for a moment. Suzaku could feel his eyes on instinct start to hood. He felt Lelouch's fingers fidget at his shoulders and he forced his own eyes open. The boy's breath had already hitched, his fingers dug into his sleeves, and his eyes were still very wide. Suzaku forced himself to slowly pull his hand up to cup around Lelouch's neck with painstaking slowness. He debated for a moment longer. He could have stopped here and there would be minimal consequences. He wasn't sure what Lelouch was afraid of, but he didn't want to make it worse. They had tomorrow, possibly even the rest of the week. They didn't need to rush this quite yet.

He didn't have time to pull away though as Lelouch ground his fingers into his sleeve and lurched forward to crash their mouths together. Suzaku let out a rather undignified and unpracticed yelp as he was forced to yet again catch the uncoordinated boy before he pitched them both to the ground. He didn't even have time to close his eyes, because of which he caught a glimpse of eyes squeezed shut before he slipped his own shut—kissing with eyes open was after all just weird as fuck. He pulled the boy closer and started to move. He was surprised that the most pleasant parts of the kiss weren't actually of the kiss itself. He loved Lelouch's hands, one at his collar, still fidgety but pleasantly stroking at the skin just under his throat and playing at the button there as well. His other arm had gone around Suzaku's shoulders, his long fingers fisted in his shirt there. He adored the way he pressed the side of his nose next to Suzaku's own. His shoulders, probably the most pleasant, would go from relaxed to strained very quickly as Suzaku pressed the kiss harder. Lelouch took a step closer his hips brushed forward and Suzaku's eyes shot wide.

He broke the kiss with a jolt and forced the boy a few inches from him. Upon retrospection, Suzaku would have scolded his actions. The boy was very slight and completely opposite to Suzaku in almost every way, which didn't give Suzaku right to push Lelouch around, especially for the fact he had a hunch that Lelouch wouldn't appreciate it very much. But this wasn't retrospect, so at that moment Suzaku just stopped their actions from progressing any farther than necessary. The last thing he needed was to have to farther clean his already drastically destroyed office.

He felt Lelouch's breath at his cheek before he ever heard the words. "I have to go, I have somewhere to be."

Suzaku gave a hazy nod. He repeated the line in his head several times; the boy was right after all. He did have to leave, and Suzaku was far too on edge at the moment to be this close to him. "Alright," he spoke soft and went to turn to the door.

"Wait," Lelouch hand stopped him, his pale fingers at his arm.

Suzaku moved his eyes to meet Lelouch's. His hands still at Lelouch's hips tightened just enough he knew but he prayed Lelouch didn't notice. He'd didn't need the boy to think he was already exhibiting signs of possessiveness. He quickly pushed that thought away as well. Thoughts of possession led to actually possession. He didn't need that. He needed to keep things together, but casual, and easily left behind when that is what would be required of him.

"Hang on." Lelouch breathed before twisting he managed to keep Suzaku's hold on him but enough he could reach the desk next to them. His fingers scrambled their way around for a moment before he turned back with a post it (Suzaku wasn't sure where came from) and a pen (Suzaku knew exactly where came from—it had been free). Lelouch scrawled something down quickly before he presented the paper a moment later to Suzaku.

Suzaku looked down at it and as reluctant as he was to let go of Lelouch he did to take the Post-It.

"Text me tomorrow." Lelouch said.

Suzaku gave a nod. "I will." It was a promise. He made a point that he'd have to remember to go get a phone in the morning. The thought crossed that he had a very old cell phone he left in Taiwan—they'd finally gotten a hold of him about it three countries later.

"I have to leave." Lelouch said again.

"Alright." Suzaku release him but kept a hand at the small of Lelouch's back as he reached across the desk to the messengers bag.

"Thank you," the small murmur was pressed into a small kiss Lelouch gave Suzaku before he let Suzaku open the door and left.

Upon his departure, Suzaku gave a sigh and turned back to his office. It was a mess from floor to ceiling. They had started with the chair and ended with it as well. Between then everything from a critique of book selection to a demonstration on how to take a rifle apart had taken place until they had just parted after all things as a kiss, and not a normal kiss either. Suzaku had to lean against his desk at that thought. Damn that boy was good at kissing, nervous, but really good at it. He wasn't sure how long either of them would be able to hold out for sex.

* * *

"Lelouch! Lelouch!" Rivals called out and waved enthusiastically over to Lelouch.

Lelouch finished the button at his Ashford uniform as he started over to his friend. He had in no way meant to spend that much time with Suzaku, but after he'd been in his presence it had been hard to talk himself into leaving. Overall, his goal had been achieved. He had a lot riding on this including his reputation. He would have to find a way to get what he wanted without having Suzaku find out exactly who he was. The small moments had been easy to hide; it was the long run that he'd have to do some serious work for.

"Hey man! What has been up? I've been trying to text you for the past hour, you said you got off of work at four and Shirley and Milly wanted to go to the mall so I was going to invite you to come too." Rivals drawled on as Lelouch passed him on his way to the elevators. They had a match to make, which meant no time to dawdle in the lobby over something so mundane. Besides Rivals never shut up regardless.

Nevertheless, Rivals words shocked Lelouch back into the world he belonged to. After spending the afternoon with someone who hadn't spent an afternoon at the mall in probably years it was a shock to have to come back to earth and realize it was what he had done just a few days ago.

Rivals followed him and they both stepped into the elevator compartment. "So?" he pressed.

"So what?" Lelouch asked as he turned to shoot Rivals a casual oblivious look. The last thing he needed was for this one to find out what he was up to.

"So where have you been all afternoon? You know Shirley has it for you bad." Rivals whined.

Lelouch checked his uniform again. The uniform was important, the older he looked the harder the win would be, he loved it when he was underestimated enough to get a five minute win, and he wanted to get this over quickly, he still had to get home in time to call and asked if he could pull another shift tomorrow at the same time. He knew that being at the café tomorrow would be needed just in case Suzaku decided he wanted to see him again.

"I mean really if you ever want to get a lay out of that girl you got to step up your game!" Apparently Rivals had just kept going even without Lelouch's attention.

"I'm not that into Shirley." Lelouch said rather dry. "And what's the big deal? what does it matter where I was?"

Rivals gave him an incredulous look. "You weren't with another girl, were you? Cause seriously man, you need to start telling your homies about this. It wasn't Kallen was it?"

Lelouch gave a sigh. If he didn't answer him, Rivals would be spreading rumors he didn't want spread. Then those rumors would reach Shirley and he'd have to deal with a weepy needy girl everyday for the next four days at school and possibly even the weekend if he got rounded up into the Student Council trip.

"I was at the base."

"Wo, what?" Rivals did a double take. "You mean the Military base?"

The elevator dinged and Lelouch stepped forward to exit. "Is there another kind of base in the city?"

"What in heaven's name were you doing at the military base?" Rival yelled.

Lelouch gave a roll of his eyes as he continued thorough thick crowd to the back rooms, where his match was to be held. He knew he'd have to answer though and a right at that moment a lie just didn't seem appropriate.

"I was working on a lay." He called back just before he opened the door and Rivals knew conversation was over from the glare Lelouch placed back at him as they entered.


	2. Can't get you off My Mind

Because it was a dream, he couldn't just run. Because it was a dream, he was forced to stay, to stand, to watch. Because it was a dream, he was just as disgusted with his actions as he had been in life. Because it was a dream, and one he'd had often enough over the past few weeks, he knew there was no fighting it. Because he knew it by heart now, he knew the blood at his sleeves wasn't real and that the bodies at his feet weren't really reaching for him, but that didn't stop the revulsion, and he doubted it ever would.

He woke with nothing but a pair of sweats on his legs. The cold air wasn't what shocked him awake as he found himself sitting up, staring at the blank opposite wall of his new apartment. He calmed his breathing before looking around the room. The only thing within it was the blow up mattress he had borrowed from the base store-house (he'd found out in the process they had the most random shit there) and the military issue duffle bag thrown into the corner. He rolled to the side, hands fiddling to find the old pocket watch he'd left with his wallet and keys on the floor. The time was four fifty seven and from the lack of light in the room his guess was that was in the am hours. He lay back with a sigh. He didn't have to be at work till eight, several long hours away.

He lulled his head to the closet door was open to reveal his uniform hanging up. He only owned one because before this time all he ever needed was one. Under that in a black duffle bag, not the standard military issue, was what he was used to wearing. Primarily the cloths he would wear were black tight fitting and easy to move in, the body armor was engineered the same way. Really it just came down to being as efficient as possible. He rarely had to be even covert, that was the CIA's job after all, but he was prepared nonetheless. He smiled at the thought, Gino had always laughed at the idea of the CIA. As much as the two separate entities hated each other, they worked together a lot, and it was no secret that if one of them did get discharged the CIA would have several job offers awaiting, followed quickly by FBI-but really they were respectable for the most part, and actually open with their affairs, where's the fun in that?

Suzaku stared up at the white washed ceiling. Bismarck had made it clear he didn't want Suzaku applying for a retirement, and Suzaku made it clear that he wouldn't be. That didn't mean thought about what would happen if he'd gotten a discharge instead. He wasn't sure how he felt about that, regardless if it was an honorable one or not. He guessed that he'd probably take a job offer from another government organization, but at the same time, he didn't really want to work anywhere but in the Army.

He gave a sigh before he pulled himself up to stand. He couldn't remember the last time he hadn't had to sleep in an outfit he could be ready for anything for, so upon arrival home (he wasn't sure if that was the right term even. He was American so he guessed he could call the states the closest he had to a home), he'd tried to think what a normal person wore to sleep in on an average night. That had turned up empty so he tried to think what he used to wear. In high school, it had been nothing but a pair of boxers. The idea had been intriguing, but he liked to think he'd moved on from that point, so he'd found the pair of sweat pants buried deep in his duffle bag and gone to bed, not a huge improvement, but still was an improvement nonetheless.

He was running into that problem a lot over the last three days. The very first had been with the apartment. He had been offered military housing, but turned it down. The housing itself was always very nice, but there he always ran into the married men (with or without children, overall most with) or the recruits in college or just—not people like him. He preferred off base as odd as it was to say or think for someone's whose life consisted of the military.

He ambled his way into the kitchen as he brought a hand up to his head. It was way too early for this kind of behavior and he'd gotten too little sleep between moving what little he had in and the ever new incoming dreams. He found his way to the refrigerator and opened it only to remember he didn't actually own any food. He gave a sigh and shut the fridge. The mail he'd thrown on the counter the night before stared back up at him. With another drawn out sigh of exhaustion, he reached for it. The first was a little bit of a relief, from the storage room he rented—he couldn't even remember where-they had gotten his request for his stuff, all three boxes of it and were sending it over. The next was from Gino, a smile crept on for that, complete with a picture of the tall smiling man and himself. On the other side of a Russian postcard was a short, 'The new guys no fun and you owe me a beer when you get back for the whole mess.' He looked to see a couple of bare plain magnets on the fridge and posted the postcard, letter, and picture up there. A heavy weighted paper envelope next contained a letter of thanks for accepting the post, signed by Lieutenant Colonel Cornelia Li Britannia. He tossed it back on the counter. He stopped at the last letter. The post mark date was from two weeks prior—when he'd been given his official notice of transfer—and the address was to the base. He pursed his lips athe return address.

He left the letter there on the counter untouched, unopened, no desire to read it.

Instead he took one last look to the silver pocket watch for the time and went into his room to find some gym cloths. It would only take a minute to dig his laptop out from the bottom of the closet with the rest of his equipment and Google a 24-Hour Fitness Gym nearby.

* * *

He wasn't sure whether or not if it was because he was bisexual that he tore through his closet and found absolutely nothing to wear while in want of something nicer to wear. He knew it was because he was in the army that there was indeed nothing for him to wear, but that was an entirely different story all together.

So in the end he'd had to settle for a dark navy button up and a pair of slacks. Thankfully he still owned a nice vest, Suzaku was sure belonged to a very nice suit—though the suit was unaccounted for—he slipped the black vest on and buttoned it, hoping it made him look a bit classier. Mostly it instilled the want for a tie, which he didn't' have unless it was in beige or army green, both of which went to well his uniform.

Suzaku wasn't sure exactly how Lelouch preferred anything from how Suzaku dressed to the place to eat. In the end, Suzaku had just decided that just picking someplace and taking Lelouch there would be the best option. Basically the same way he'd just worn whatever he could find and hoped Lelouch would like it on him. Besides it wasn't like this was their first meeting or his first date or anything. The night before had gone more than accordingly and he'd even gotten a kiss out of it.

Suzaku stopped at that, hands frozen as they reached for the wallet on the dresser.

Sex wasn't far off in either of their minds and he knew it.

As he shook the thoughts away, looked up to the mirror before him, and finished with the vest and checking himself in the mirror ever three seconds. But he ran a comb through his unruly hair in hopes—and failed hopes—that they could somehow magically control the unruliness into a more suitable look. He'd never actually been a big fan of the military cut, and because of it when it was no longer required of him he didn't have it.

But Suzaku had always been clean shaven so as he glanced back into the mirror, sighed, and trudging into his bathroom to find his razor.

Fifteen minutes later, smelling of after shave, having checked himself in the mirror aging, fretted over the prospects of sex for another minute and a half, changed his shirt, deciding he didn't like the new pick and changed back to his original shirt, checked his reflection again and finally made it tin to the kitchen.

As he glanced at the clock on the stove he at first didn't realize shrugging it off as he looked for his apartment keys. The second glance though made him sputter a few swear words and he left quickly—only to return before the door had clicked shut to try and find his cell phone. Once out the door, with everything he'd ever need and looking as well mannered and pristine a he could get himself, he came to the conclusion that civilian life was hard.

* * *

Suzaku thanked the cab driver as he got out on to the sidewalk. Once out of the car, Suzaku stopped surveying his surroundings for a moment, shoving his hands in his pockets and neck craning.

When Suzaku spotted him, he almost wasn't sure it was the right person. He looked so–scrawny wasn't the right word and yet small wasn't either—vulnerable was the closest he figured he could get. It was strange and yet it wasn't, like he'd seen Lelouch like this before, though Suzaku hadn't the slightest idea where the idea of that had even come from. Then the light, well a light, spilled out from the alley way, immediately illuminating the edges around the other mans form, and Suzaku knew exactly where he'd gotten that impression from.

He stopped, rooted to the cement under his feet at that moment as violet eyes lifted and Suzaku was rushed through the image of very different colored eyes, Eyes that had shown like leaves in spring, but with a halo so similar to Lelouch's –only the light had been hot, and unlike Lelouch's pale skin, this image of pale had been tainted, dripping black and red to the floor. Suzaku was frozen. The numb extortion of his senses kicking In as his ears buzzed and the hair on his arms and neck stood on end.

A smile broke on Lelouch's face, not as bright or as cheery as most, but it was enough and the image was shattered, the fear of monsters chased back under the bed. And with the last blow, completely pulling Suzaku from his daze Lelouch spoke. "Hey,"

"Hey, Lelouch!" Suzaku said, before that smile could falter as he approached the other man. He cleared his throat, tugging at his sleeves I n the same moment.

"Suzaku," the other said as always with the same elegant air as he bowed his head just a touch in greeting.

Suzaku came to his side placing a tentive hand at the others back as he gestured to the restraint. "Shall we?" Suzaku couldn't stop his eyes as they roved over his counterpart. Checking for signs if Lelouch even realized what had just happened or not. Suzaku also threw a glance over his shoulder to the alleyway, making sure that the light that had just shut off wasn't the same… His was satisfied as he saw the dull artificial light flood the narrow way again as a door to one of the buildings was opened. Suzaku's eyes returned to Lelouch.

With little to set a standard on, Suzaku wasn't sure if the other had dressed up or just always found a way to look comfortable and nice in whatever he wore. Suzaku had a hunch that may just be it, but as he took in the slim fitting dark shirt and pristine dark wash jeans with an upturn of a starting smile. Suzaku wonder if it was just a natural talent or if Lelouch just had a very close sister.

"You're late." Lelouch mused, a light smile still gracing his face.

"I had difficulties with my hair." Suzaku admitted. He held the door, hoping Lelouch was still partial to the extra care, as they reached the entrance.

Lelouch chuckled, a hand, long and pale, coming up over his mouth. "You don't say?" He glanced back as Suzaku followed him into the lit reception area. "Well, I—I don't actually think I see a difference."

"Because there isn't one to see, and that was the difficulty." Suzaku said.

He'd earned a smile and as the hostess perked up, asking how many there would be, it took Suzaku a moment to tear his eyes away long enough to answer her.

* * *

"I speak French."

Their food had arrived, some time ago actually, though it wasn't being eaten very fast as they chatted, or at least Lelouch did. Suzaku sat back in his chair, listening as he took a sip from the glass in his hand. He wasn't forcing Lelouch to hold up the conversation, it was becoming apparent the other man could do that without any encouragement at all. It was a notion that hadn't occurred to Suzaku yet. Upon their first meeting, Lelouch had spoken only the minimum, and even at Suzaku's office, there had been a sense of reluctance. Now, whatever had happened to the other had changed that as Lelouch went on asking questions some requiring answers and others completely rhetorical.

"And you?" now was the moment for one of those questions, and those deep eyes would turn to Suzaku. As they seemed to do Suzaku found himself pinned down with that stare, the answer expected.

And Suzaku, found that as of yet he could not refuse the other man. "Several languages, though Japanese is the only one I'm fluent in." He also had a hunch Lelouch would probably make a very good interrogator if it ever came down to it.

A shapely eyebrow arched as a smile slid on to thin lips, "Not English as well?"

"I blunder my way through it." Japanese had been the language he'd primarily learned at birth, upon his father's insistence of course. "As you stated I have little to no accent, so I guess I do pretty well,"

"But not your favored language apparently?" Lelouch pressed. Suzaku had noticed that already—if the other man wanted to know something he wouldn't stop till he learned it. Stubborn.

Suzaku smiled. "No, not particularly," and on second thought he continued. "Though, I'm not much for words as far as the prospect goes." Sucks pulled his hand up from the table scratching at his neck a bit. As far as impressing Lelouch, Suzaku doubted that this was a great attempt, but it was still true, and Suzaku would rather tell the truth.

But when Suzaku looked up he was met with not scrutinizing eyes, but deep, curious, and very violet eyes.

"Interesting." Lelouch breathed, before breaking the eye contact to take another bite of his food. "And the others?" Lelouch inquired further, voice more causal now than before, not as contemplative as the first statement.

Suzaku leaned forward, making sure to avoid letting his elbows rest, setting his glass down. "I'm well enough that I can get what I need when I need it."

A spark in those eyes again told Suzaku Lelouch knew there was more to the story, but like the very intelligent human being he was proving to be, he let the matter lie. Though Lelouch kept the small, sly smile on his face, his eyes narrow just a bit, but not in any form of suspicion or anger. . "Yes, indeed interesting," he murmured before starting out on a new avenue. "Do you like chess, at all?"

Suzaku debated, and as always reverted to the truth. "Not in the slightest," he chuckled. He was a simple man, he got orders and he saw them through, and he was never one for being the one calling the shots, having to mourn for the lost that were his fault was never something Suzaku enjoyed.

He earned another smile, though this one much different, almost abashed. "Would you play, if I asked?" Lelouch's voice was of the same. It was of the same brand of oozing confidence only quieter now, distilled as Lelouch's eyes wondered their way around the table before returning to Suzaku.

"Absolutely." Suzaku answered.

A smile, small and thin stretched on Lelouch's face, making Suzaku suck in a deep breath. "I would really like that." Lelouch went on.

Suzaku looked back down, his fingers fidgeting with the closest eating utensil. "When ever you like," Suzaku said looking up, catching that eye contact again, and losing his sense in those same eyes, so vivid in color. Suzaku was pretty sure that as those eyes were on him, he'd do anything for Lelouch. He was also surprised that those same eyes hadn't hypnotized Lelouch into getting a boyfriend before Suzaku had ever come around. "I'll play with you," Suzaku chuckled, "but I'll probably lose,"

Lelouch grinned, this time a little more coy as he himself leaned back into his chair, a hand, long and elegant, coming up to his mouth, but not to cover it. "You like being outside, don't you?"

Suzaku's skin color was probably answer enough, but he gave a nod. "Prefer it, actually."

"I had thought you would." Lelouch murmured, his hand coming forward now, those long fingers at the stem of his glass moving up and down the smooth surface of the glass. His eyes were downcast though, thoughts occupying Lelouch's mind elsewhere.

Suzaku was about to say something when Lelouch looked up again, and Suzaku's mind seized, intent to hear whatever Lelouch would lay before him.

"It's a bit cliché, but if you would be up for it, there are chess tables at the park, and the mornings are actually quite lovely there, would you like to go sometime?"

It sounded a bit more formal than Suzaku was comfortable with, and because of that he placed the boy in a suspicious look. "Are you asking me on a date, Lelouch Lamprouge?" A jesting smile was already creeping its way onto Suzaku's face.

That had earned Suzaku another smile and this time one that Suzaku was very much sure he could take a shinning too. It was an easy smile, not as calculated as the others, not large, or small, just natural. Suzaku leaned forward. Both of their food he was sure was long forgotten at this point. The need for food had been tossed away in hopes for something better. It was fascinating what attraction did to humans.

"Well," Lelouch started with a flash of mischievous eyes. "I am trying to take advantage of you, Mr. Kururugi." He looked away innocently and lifted the glass to his lips to take a quick, casual sip.

Suzaku gasped, "Taking advantage of an American soldier?"

Lelouch finally sat forward as well, letting his chin rest over his laced fingers, and quite purposefully placing his elbows at the table. "You see, my plans are to seduce you." He said as if he were a professor leaning over his desk to better explain his theory.

"I knew you were trouble." Suzaku drawled, but didn't move from the table. "Me and my office chair are in for the worst."

With a quick smile, Lelouch arched a finely shaped eyebrow as he continued, "Even after I've told you my plans? Shouldn't you be fleeing at this point?"

"Oh, I kind of already knew about your plans," Suzaku looked off into the distance. "It was something about the way you kissed me last night."

"Do I get a kiss tonight as well?" Lelouch inquired. It was a quick subject jump, but not an unwelcome one.

Suzaku glanced down, eye contact made again along with the little spark that attended it. If they weren't in a public place, Suzaku had no doubt they would be kissing already. "I don't think asking for permission makes a very good seducer."

Lelouch smiled that same coy smile again. "I have unique methods." His smile just widened. "But they always work."

Suzaku was sure of that as well. Lelouch was quite possibly the embodiment of confidence, and it was indeed very becoming. He had a grace to his movements, Suzaku wasn't sure where he had picked up, but it was effective, drawing out the moments and drawing Suzaku's eyes to ever precise gesture. In fact, precise was probably the best word to describe the other man. Everything, from wording to gestures, movements, tone all of it seemed calculated to the smallest detail.

"I am though." Lelouch added a moment later.

Suzaku perked. "Seducing me? Most definitely." He chuckled.

There wasn't as much amusement as Lelouch answered. "…no." He reached forward.

Suzaku was about to pull one of his hands off the table before he stopped—a long finger making contact over his knuckle. Lelouch stroked lightly over the skin, his eyes down at the same dark tan hand. The contrast between the wide almost brutish hand of Suzaku and Lelouch's, long, elegant, alabaster skin, and Lelouch was making it look like an art as he lightly ran his finger tip of Suzaku's middle finger over his palm, tracing along the veins, and retracing to Suzaku's middle finger and stroking down the digit with gently light strokes.

Suzaku had to swallow hard to keep himself from lunging over the table to Lelouch's. For seemingly harmless intimacy, Lelouch was doing a very good job of it, and it was very much having an effect on Suzaku. He hated that he had chose a restaurant at that moment. He should have invited the other boy over to his apartment, where—well never mind there really was no furniture yet, but he could have at least kissed him there, pulled him to the air mattress in his room and—it wasn't very romantic but it was better than watching Lelouch tease him in public.

"I have classes in the mornings, but on a weekend sometime, I really would be pleased to go to the park with you." Those eyes flicked up, to make a very fleeting, but charged contact with Suzaku.

Lelouch had been right, he was very good at seduction or at least he was right at that moment. The passing glances weren't so intoxicating the night before, but they hadn't been in public the night before. Suzaku had to sigh, it was just his luck that the one moment he wanted to jump the boy there was ten other tables of people around them.

Suzaku smiled, beaming. "That would be great."

A small smile, but they didn't seem to come to Lelouch's lips as easily as they did to Suzaku's, and because of that Suzaku took it as another brownie point in his favor. "I have this thing this weekend, but next weekend I…" He trailed off as Suzaku leaned forward.

"I already told you whenever you want me to go I will."

Suzaku flipped his hand letting Lelouch fingers tickle at the inside of his palm. It gave him enough leverage to tickle Lelouch's palm as well. Suzaku earned himself another smile and a bit of a blush. Eyes a bit too rich and dark to be placed as solely lavender fleeted up, accompanying the red stain of his cheeks. Suzaku gave a wide smile in response. Lelouch looked away, down at their so close to being interlocked hands.

"Can I count on a date the Saturday morning after this weekend then?" Lelouch said, recovering from his blush rather quickly to square Suzaku in the eye again.

"Of course." Suzaku smiled accordingly.

Lelouch's fingers started to move again, this time running the pads of his three middle fingers along the inside of Suzaku's palm, so light they left a bit of a tingle. Lelouch looked down, focusing probably on the way Suzaku was so easily handing himself over. Suzaku, in turn, wondered to himself how he had ever thought they wouldn't be this charged for each other in public.

Suzaku cleared his throat attempt to clear his thoughts as well. "So where are you going this weekend?"

Lelouch didn't look up. "It's a school trip." It was an off handed answer, tossing aside the topic immediately upon its arrival. He looked up, bright amethyst sending a shiver through Suzaku's spine as they flashed in the dim light. "Do you want to get out of here?"

Within a few second Suzaku had flagged down the nearest waiter for the check.

* * *

Lelouch had him against the wall with a surprising burst of energy and even more surprising surge of—Suzaku would call it want but it seemed more like a need. Whatever it was if was certainly driving him as Lelouch thrust his hand through Suzaku curls and connected their lips, crashing their bodies against the bricks of the narrow alley way. As lewd and as obscene as this was Suzaku couldn't help but find it arousing, wrapping his arms around Lelouch's shoulders and giving himself wholeheartedly over to the kiss.

He felt Lelouch shiver, probably from the night air, and he broke the kiss, his hands at Suzaku's chest as he huddled closer to him. Suzaku chuckled and pulled his arms a little tighter around Lelouch's shoulders, chafing his hand over Lelouch's sleeve at his arm, to try to generate some heat.

Suzaku wasn't sure why of all places Lelouch had chosen the alley way to start at it, he could have waited a few more minutes before they could come up with somewhere to go, but over eager and needy he had pulled Suzaku in and once far enough in he was pretty sure no one could openly spy on them, Lelouch had crushed into him and sealed them together.

Looking up Lelouch didn't even have to say anything, letting his eyes hood, parting his lips just enough, and Suzaku was leaning down, pressing into the kiss again. Lelouch's hand worked its way back up sliding against Suzaku's neck, sliding around to cup the back of Suzaku's head. Lelouch was demanding, but taking it slower than he had the night before. Suzaku's lips parted and Lelouch had his tongue thrust into Suzaku's mouth almost immediately. Suzaku cracked his eyes for half a second, sliding his own tongue across Lelouch's.

There was a flash of light through the alley way, probably just headlights from a passing car on the street, but it was enough Suzaku jerked his head up, certain he'd seen it for just a second…the kiss was broken for a moment and Suzaku's eyes searched the alley way. He could have sworn—there had been something there, standing against the wall.

"Suzaku?" Lelouch's voice was just a little different—distant, like there was something in the way of Suzaku being able to hear him.

Another flash of head lights and Suzaku had Lelouch behind him. It had been there for sure this time. Both of them, dripping blackened ash-smeared sweat, red pooling at their feet, the gun… It had been fleeting just like the moment itself, and Suzaku reached behind him finding Lelouch, or the side of him at least, checking to make sure the other boy was still there, still safe.

"Suzaku?"It was a far more worried voice this time, even a bit panicky. "What's wrong?"

"You ever think that their not just memories?"

Suzaku spun, forcing Lelouch between his back and the wall as the voice from deeper in the alley echoed. Suzaku didn't have a weapon but he was still descent enough at hand to hand as he squared up the man. He was broad, well set, but not perfect, heavier though it all looked to be build, not fat, but still heavy—something Suzaku could use against him if there as need. He was also swaying slightly, the bottle in his hand very firmly grasped—something else Suzaku could use against him, drunkards weren't hard to knock off balance. Assessment made, Suzaku widened his stance, readily if need be to lunge, it would be faster that way and if he timed it right he'd be able to throw Lelouch back towards the entrance giving him a head start for a run for it.

"They don't go away," the man went on, his voice deep and surprisingly articulate for the fact he was from the looks of it stiff drunk.

Suzaku felt Lelouch's fingers curl in to the fabric of his shirt at his shoulder.

"If anything they get worse. The nightmares too, do you get those?" the man turned to look at them just as another flash of headlights.

The glimpse was all that was needed for a complete assessment change. In the flash of light Suzaku had become aware of the jagged scare across the man's face, the dirty (literally, not just color) blond hair, the lazy blue eyes and most shocking the coat—it was military issue. Older than the hills, but it was a trench, faded army green and still even had rank stars at the shoulders. A make that hadn't been issued since the 70's, but still had the flag patch at one of the man's shoulders.

The man lifted the bottle taking another swig. "It's the one's that come like that that really start to get to ya, they come out of nowhere and just the littlest damn thing like a door slamming shut or fireworks—God, I hate fireworks."

Suzaku turned to a very nervous and confused looking Lelouch. "Come on," Suzaku said as he gestured for them to leave. His eyes roamed over the other boy—the same impression of vulnerability coming back to him again.

Lelouch wasn't looking back at Suzaku thoigh, his eyes locked on the man behind them. "What is he talking about?" the deep tone of Lelouch's voice was nowhere near vulnerable at this point.

"It's nothing." Suzaku assured tugging at Lelouch's arm now as Suzaku took a step closer to the entrance.

"They told you to keep quiet about it didn't they?" The man's booming voice reaching Suzaku's ears this time, making him look back, forgetting himself for just a moment. He almost charged then, almost thought of how best to incapacitate the man quickly but still leave him conscious enough to answer how he knew—this couldn't be just guesses at this point.

A lopsided grin came onto the man's face. "Yeah, they take the boys who don't do anything wrong and give them whatever they need to feel better, but with the ones that shame them, the ones that do all the dirty work they just toss aside, reassign, hope you forget about it so you can be useful once again."

Suzaku's eyes widened just a bit his mouth snapping shut while his mind raced. Did he know this man? Negative. Did this man know him? He couldn't have, Suzaku just got here. Negative. Military background? Most definitely positive. But in what faction? The coat was army, draft issued. Still in military services? Unable to tell, but the answer was mostly likely negative. A threat? Maybe sober, but now, with the good ten foot distance between them? Negative. Than how did he…? That was an answer Suzaku couldn't calculate out. It wasn't an answer he'd been trained to recognize immediately.

"Suzaku,"

It was Lelouch, and because it was Lelouch Suzaku's head snapped back to look at him. He'd honestly almost forgotten Lelouch was there for a split second.

"What is this man talking about?" Lelouch tone was still deep, more demanding this time, like an issued order.

Suzaku didn't answer, knew he couldn't even if he wanted too.. He just stared back down at Lelouch, almost assessing him as well, even knowing this was his date not a threat.

There was laughter this time, and Suzaku's head shot back to pin the man back within the stare of green eyes.

"You're not getting any answers from him, boy." The man kept up the laughter, though it having died down to just chuckles. "That boy could probably be half dead and you still wouldn't get a peep out of him, no matter what you did. You got to hand it to them, they sure know how to train a man to keep a secret." He took another long swig of whatever sort of alcohol he had in that bottle.

Suzaku had been about to turn, about to just drag Lelouch out of the alley way if necessary, but he was stopped at the sound of that voice again. The other man was getting not only inconvenient at this point, but bold, taking a thick booted step forward. When Suzaku looked again the other man was pointing straight at Lelouch.

"Make sure you take care of him though." The man still had a very lopsided kind of grin. "As long as he keeps coming back to you, he's still there, maybe not all there, but deep down he's there." He took another step forward.

The alarms in Suzaku's head instantly started to scream and he reflexively took a purposeful full step way, pulling Lelouch with him. He figured the radius those arms could reach were a good four feet, if the man lunged closer to five or six, and Suzaku was not letting Lelouch be caught with in that potential threat zone. It served a second purpose though, switching on the rational side, the side that knew that now was the time to be leaving before the other man got any bolder and Suzaku got any more impatient with him.

"Let's go," Suzaku said, taking Lelouch's arm, more firm this time, not letting there even be a chance he could push him away. Later as always Suzaku would feel a bit guilty for using his physical strength against Lelouch, but right now Suzaku was only thinking about getting out of the alleyway. Lelouch didn't need to hear anymore of this loony and Suzaku didn't need to be anymore paranoid than he already was becoming.

Lelouch didn't comply easily, "Suzaku!" the sharp tone tearing at Suzaku's ears. "How do you know this man?" He'd taken a stance, not one that Suzaku couldn't pull him out of if he'd have tried, but one that Suzaku wouldn't be gaining any ground.

"I don't," Suzaku answered short, giving an insistent tug to Lelouch's arm.

The sound of laughter echoed through the alley way again.

Suzaku didn't even look this time, only changed his hold on Lelouch to wind his arm around his waist and giving a jerk, forcing the other boy to stumble a step forward. With the grounded stance broken it was easy enough for Suzaku to get a hold on Lelouch enough to pull him out of the alley way and on to the open street.

Compliance didn't seem to be something Lelouch wanted to do, but he let Suzaku pull him along anyway. Suzaku pulled his arm out from Lelouch's waist, leaving only a loose hold at his arm again as Suzaku stepped to the curb to hail a cab.

"What was that man talking about?" the tone Lelouch took now was quiet, but still just as clipped. He stood stoic, chin raised just slightly, as if he was looking down at Suzaku, not a hint of vulnerability now.

"Absolutely nothing," his own tone was a bit clipped as well. Suzaku wasn't surprised that he'd made Lelouch angry, he himself would probably be angry if in the same situation, but Suzaku wasn't sorry for his actions, at least not yet, and as a cab pulled up he opened the door to guide Lelouch in.

Once in, Suzaku leaned forward to give an address, before looking back at Lelouch. "Where do you live?"

Lelouch's head snapped to him. "We are not finished for the night." He hissed.

Suzaku, unaffected, asked again. "Where do you live?"

"No!" Lelouch growled. "I still have questions. Like for one who was that man?"

Suzaku sighed. "Lelouch, give me your address,"

The sigh only seemed to make the boy even more livid. "You have got to be joking!" disgust showed in the sneer now marring Lelouch's face. "We just went through that and you think you can just drop me off and it be done."

"No," Suzaku answered honestly. "But after what just happened I doubt you'll want to be around me for the rest of the night."

"I still have questions." Lelouch growled, his arms crossed over his chest and jaw set.

Suzaku tilted his head. "Then you can ask on the way, now what is your address."

Clearly displeased with Suzaku, Lelouch leaned forward, giving his address to the cab driver himself. With another sigh, Suzaku sat back, facing the window. As far as dates went that hadn't been the best one he'd ever had in his life.

It was a long moment, the city rushing past the cab windows in a blur, before Lelouch finally spoke. "Who was that man?"

Suzaku stayed silent. Resting his elbow on the door, he brought his hand up to his mouth. He was pretty sure that even if he did say anything to Lelouch at this point it would probably be more damaging than anything.

"Suzaku!" It was hissed again. A clipped tone, Suzaku had hoped they wouldn't come to for a while longer in their relationship. "Answer me."

Suzaku didn't look away from the window, didn't focus on anything in particular, deciding an answer was probably best at this point, despite the fact he knew it wasn't one Lelouch wanted to hear. "It was no one. No one I know at least."

"Then why was he talking to us?" Lelouch took in a huffy breath and exhaling before he continued. "That wasn't just some drunk stumbling home."

"I don't know him." Suzaku reiterated, his hand going to his face, fingers pinching at the bridge of his nose.

Lelouch, Suzaku was learning, couldn't just let a subject drop. "He talked like he knew you. He talked like he knew exactly what was going on with you, like he'd seen it himself."

"It was nothing!" Suzaku finally hissed back himself. His eyes narrowed as he pushed off from the window to bare that gaze down on Lelouch. "Just drop it! He knows absolutely nothing about me and neither do you!"

It was quiet then. The cab driver hadn't said a word from the moment they got in the car and Suzaku didn't blame him, what was worse than getting in the middle of a fight between two people stuck in the backseat together? Suzaku looked back to the window, no longer being able to stand Lelouch's stoic gaze over at him. The other boy hadn't moved, his arms still crossed over his chest, no sign that he was affected at all by Suzaku finally loosing it a bit.

And it stayed that way for several long moments, the city disappearing as the cab started into more suburban area. Neither spoke, but Suzaku could still feel that gaze still lingering over him, still looking at him like –well in a much different way than Suzaku would have preferred. His own gaze was outward looking to the passing lights and street signs. There was no reason to make this confrontation worse, or even this date any worse, by actually speaking. If Suzaku had had a hope before it had dissipated some time with in that alley and only been affirmed by the fact he'd lost his temper.

The car pulled to a stop, Suzaku too distant to even take a good look as to where.

"It's not that late."

The sound of Lelouch's voice a bit startled Suzaku. He looked over slow, watching Lelouch's now more reserved form. He'd pulled back from the easy and pleasant contact the two had seemed to fit into so well.

"No one will be expecting me home yet." Lelouch was looking down, eyes not exactly focused on anything.

Suzaku couldn't argue with that. It wasn't exactly how he'd planned the night either. If things had gone smoothly they would probably still be enjoying each other now. But despite his reluctance, he couldn't help but speak up. "Would you like me to walk you in?"

Finally Lelouch looked up at Suzaku. As always, that gaze had an effect on Suzaku as well. He swallowed, the sound cutting through the awkward silence, and though not helping, was still some sound. It was hard to not reach forward and take Lelouch's hand and lead him up to the house despite what he would answer. Suzaku did want to make this right if it was possible, though now that possibility was rather slim at this point. It was their first official date and their first official fight—not exactly an amazingly fabulous start to things.

"Thank you," Lelouch said quiet.

Suzaku perked ready to move to take Lelouch's hand.

"But I'll be fine walking on my own." Lelouch continued, cold and calculated as Suzaku had ever heard him. Suzaku was starting to realize that when Lelouch was mad he was good at snippy comments and crushing little comments. He was so different from Suzaku. Lelouch seemed like the kind of person that wouldn't fight fair, if openly at all.

Nodding, Suzaku sat back. "Alright."

His eyes, deep, violet, and completely unreadable didn't move away from Suzaku. It was the same for Suzaku as well. It was silent between them, but then again at least they still had that bit of limited contact and they weren't throwing bit out comments back and forth.

"Hey," Suzaku's head snapped to the taxi driver, finally voicing his presence. "Is the kid getting out or what?"

Before Suzaku could even attempt a reply Lelouch was already on top of it. "Of course, sorry to hold you up." No, he wasn't. Suzaku could tell from the tone in his voice and the way that he hadn't even spared a glance in the cab drivers direction.

The door was open a moment later and Lelouch was getting out. Suzaku slid across the seat not sure on what exactly to do, walking him to the door was off limits, but what about anything else? Was he even allowed to just say goodnight? Awkward, awkward, awkward.

"I don't leave until Friday afternoon." Lelouch again, was already on top of it, standing from the taxi and pulling at the blazer, setting it just right on his shoulders to look as primed and pressed as it could.

"Alright." It seemed to be the only word Suzaku could come up with at the moment as he himself stood from the cab but kept a hand holding the door open. The taxi driver was probably a bit perturbed to wait just a moment but Suzaku still needed a way home since it had been made clear Lelouch probably wouldn't welcome him inside, even if it was just to call another cab.

Lelouch was looking at him still, but he was distant, physically, stepping back to give Suzaku an ample amount of room to stand. "So if you want, I'll have my phone so—"

"I'll call you." Suzaku interrupted, which was rather rude, but he felt he needed to say it. He was still invested to an extent. They'd need to find a way around this awkward argument some time and over the phone seemed like a fairly good place to start if not the lesser of the two options.

A nod was Suzaku's only answer for a moment, Lelouch's eyes fleeting down to the asphalt below their feet. "If it's not too much, I really would like to see you again before I leave." It wasn't a question.

But Suzaku didn't give an affirmative answer either. "I'll call you." He repeated, not taking his eyes away from Lelouch's long ebony head of hair.

This wasn't getting any easier. In fact, as a touch of silence set in again, this time with the chill night air brought along for the ride and the dim lit street to set a tone Suzaku didn't much like. It was far too somber to leave like this and not have some sort of resolve or even hope of a resolve.

"Well—" Lelouch started as he turned.

Catching his hand on Lelouch's arm, Suzaku pulled him back. "Wait." It was still so—weird. It had been the first contact they'd had since Suzaku had led Lelouch to get into the cab after their hasty escape from the alleyway. In retrospect the alleyway hadn't been the greatest choice of places to initiate that kind of contact between them. Suzaku did have to admit there hadn't be an array of choices to choose from in hope of having a nice make out session, but the alley had been a really bad idea.

Lelouch stopped, glancing back, but didn't tear his arm away.

"Are you two breaking up or not?" The cab driver called out the window.

Suzaku didn't spare the man a glance. He kind of wanted to tell the man to can it, but instead he addressed the situation, no matter how rude the man was he had a point, and Suzaku had to acknowledge that exact issue.

He glanced down the street for a second making sure there weren't any significant watchers before he spoke. "I promised you a good night kiss, didn't I?" He looked back up at Lelouch. Suzaku didn't drop his hand from Lelouch's sleeve either.

Not fighting Suzaku at least, Lelouch stared back at him. It wasn't a vacant stare, eyes shifting as Lelouch roved over Suzaku's face and a bit below his shoulders before snapping back to hook eye contact. "Yes, I suppose you did." He said, making sure he was just audible enough for Suzaku to catch.

It wasn't the best answer that Suzaku had ever gotten but still an affirmative. Suzaku moved, stepping forward, sweeping his arm up and hooked it around Lelouch to pull him closer. Making sure to move slow, not to make Lelouch feel like he was being attacked he cupped his other hand at Lelouch's face, and still holding constant eye contact. If Lelouch didn't want this than he wanted to know before he initiated anything.

But Lelouch complied and easily as his hands run up to Suzaku's shoulders, tilling his head as Suzaku tilted his own leaning forward. The press of lips and molding of the two of them was as always seamless. Suzaku barely opened his mouth, moving slower, making the kiss much more tender and less heated, and Lelouch seemed to quickly catch on to the same idea letting his own lips linger one arm going up to lazily slide along the mantle of Suzaku's shoulders. If they didn't have the company of the taxi driver Suzaku might have actually tried something more, but instead he tightened his hold around Lelouch's waist, his other arm coming to fold around the younger boy as well.

"Hey, let's get this show on the road!"

With a jolt they separated, startled by the call from the taxi driver. Suzaku didn't completely let Lelouch go though, keeping a hand at his shoulder as the kiss broke and Lelouch took a step back.

"Alright," Suzaku called over his shoulder. He hopped that his tone conveyed enough of 'shut the hell up' that the message got through.

Lelouch gave a nod, "I'll see you then?" he said.

Suzaku looked back at him, his gaze softening as he smiled. "Of course," He gave his own nod. "I'll text later, okay?"

Still tightlipped and very controlled, Lelouch stepped out of Suzaku's grasp. "I'll make sure to keep my phone close." He straightened his jacket again. smoothing the wrinkles out before stepping up on to the sidewalk. "Goodnight, Suzaku," he said without looking.

"Goodnight." Suzaku said watching the other boy go for a moment. His feet seemed up able to move from the spot, his brain still focused on Lelouch's cold retreat.

But knowing the cab driver would only get upset, he turned, sliding back into the car, and leaning forward to give the address of his apartment. The cab driver said something about this being a nice neighborhood, but Suzaku wasn't listening, his thoughts elsewhere. Whatever else conversation the driver had tried to make was lost as well, and by the time the cab had pulled up in front of the apartment building and Suzaku had gotten out, paid the taxi driver and was making his way up the stair he'd come to the conclusion Lelouch was still very much mad at him.

* * *

Lelouch opened the front door as he heard Suzaku getting into the cab behind him. Turning his head just barely caught the sight of Suzaku closing the door and the cab driver pulling away. It was perfect timing as just then Euphemia entered through the door to the living room.

"Oh, you're home early." Euphemia commented. "Usually you stay out longer when you go with your friends."

Already lost in thinking what to do about he and Suzaku, Lelouch only nodded, stepping into the house and clicking the door closed behind him. He immediately turned to the stairs, hoping to get out of the prying eyes of his sister.

"Did you not have fun tonight?" Euphemia asked, probably from the overall lack of answers from Lelouch in total.

"Yeah, it was fine," Lelouch said, finally looking up but not quite meeting Euphemia's lavender eyes. "Is Nunnally upstairs?"

"I put her to bed just before you got home." She affirmed with a sweet smile.

A nod again was all that Lelouch could really come up with. He had been hoping to see his little sister before continuing to his room. It would have been a nice pick-me-up after the disaster he'd somehow managed to survive. "I see."

"Father's left again, so I told him I'd stay here just to make sure things went alright." Euphemia continued now a little more awkward. Not that Lelouch couldn't blame her, he wasn't exactly being a tremendous amount of help in the conversation department.

He would have normally protested, told her that he and Nunnally would be fine without her, especially with Sayako around and that there was no reason for her to stay, but he knew that with the student counsel trip that weekend it was probably better that Euphemia did stay. "Your roommates are alright with that?" another awkward question.

Euphemia giggled. "I doubt they'll even notice I've gone." It was easier, along with the smile as well. "It's not with trying to get my student teaching hours that I'm there much anyway."

Lelouch gave the third (fourth?) nod of the night. "Oh, alright. Thanks for coming though." He started up the stairs. "Well, I'm going to head up to bed."

She looked perplexed for just a moment, but smiled again, that sweet smile as she spoke. "Alright, sleep well."

"Thank you." Lelouch said cordially before the pointing his gaze away to the steps as he continued up the stairs and to the hall. He couldn't help but peak in at his little sister's room for just a moment before continuing to his own room. Once there the first thing he did was set his phone at the nights stand, already knowing he'd check it every waking moment at twenty minutes intervals and probably several times throughout the night.


	3. Parental Love and Caring

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **Warning: Shit kind of hits the fan in this chapter. There is refrain use, domestic violence and abuse, and way way too many problems for one story.**

"Your father was a cop?"

Cornelia sat behind her large solid wood desk. Her entire office was immaculate, barely even a stray scrap of paper to be found. The room—Cornelia's office—was all just the same brand of meticulous, no nonsense kind of clean. Behind Suzaku, the walls were lined with photos. The most impressive of which was of white washed landscape and Cornelia, armed to the teeth and in white camo gear. A long, scoped rifle hung off her shoulders and underneath that single black—high heeled—combat boot a polar bear's dead eyes stared up through the photo. A small trickle of blood leaked from the bears slack jaw.

Suzaku nodded. "Yes ma'am, he was chief of police for most of my childhood." He didn't say it like others he knew. It was a quiet tone filled with less pride and more reluctant acknowledgement.

"Hm." Cornelia snorted, completely uninterested. "And you have a different address listed here when you went into high school. Your father didn't change districts along with you though."

Suzaku shifted, a grimace on his face as he tried to think of a good answer to give. "I—well it was easier, not to live at home."

"Well it must have paid off, you're grades went up, you went into the Student council, even got all American in Soccer." Cornelia brushed through several pieces of paper. "You played a little bit of everything it seems: swim team, basketball, even the lacrosse team. I'm sure any college would have loved to have you. "

She was his superior officer, she was allowed to look at his file, his life, every minute detail he'd ever had about him if she so please, though Suzaku had to admit he'd never had a commanding officer be so thorough. Even Bismarck had perused most of the information and went straight to his history from boot camp on. The problem was Suzaku wasn't sure if she'd just asked him a question or just stated a fact.

"Well—" Suzaku started, trying to think of what to say. "I'm not so sure of that."

"Yeah, neither am I, Kururugi." Cornelia said before going on. "Now in Junior high there was a completely different story going on."

Suzaku wanted to say something along the lines of, 'I don't want to talk about it,' or even better, 'shove off.' But Cornelia vi Britannia, was a Colonel and there was no way in hell he'd ever try and disrespect someone two ranks ahead of him, let alone a woman that had taken down a polar bear for fun.

"To be honest I would have never guessed that you had this kind of a record." Cornelia thumbed through the paper work like it was nothing but what was to be expected. "You're lucky you were very much a minor, or I don't think the Army would have given you a chance."

That was definitely a compliment coming from her and Suzaku took whatever he could get, "Yes ma'am."

"You know, it surprised me a little when I found out you have never gone to an officer's school." She went on. "Though your record speaks for its self," she went on, her tone shifting this time to a much more distant, almost like she wasn't speaking to Suzaku at all. "In all your very boyish attributes, there is a sense of formality that surrounds you that only most graduate officers have."

The fan over head spun in time with the clock on the wall, Suzaku wasn't sure how to answer again so he just looked away to the floor and said. "Yes ma'am."

She looked up with a sharp motion of her head. "You're excused Kururugi." It was a tone that bit at Suzaku's heels, the kind of tone that would have better been accustomed to 'go be useful somehow,' instead of a brisk dismissal.

Either way, Suzaku nodded and stood, giving a salute before going out the door. Once he left the room he let out the breath he hadn't been aware he was holding.

* * *

"He hasn't called you, yet?" C.c. asked.

Lelouch shook his head. "He's called. I just—I didn't answer."

Sitting against the wall they both just looked off towards the railing. C.c. leaned forward as she brought her knees up to lean against them. Her long hair trailed over her shoulder in two low set piggy tails. Lelouch in turn leaned back against the wall, his head back against he cement of the wall, and neck craned so he could look up at the sky.

"Did he leave a voicemail?" her voice was muffled by the long sleeves of her school uniform, but Lelouch could still hear her clear enough.

He shook his head in more of a shrug of a motion. "I don't know. I didn't check. Milly texted me so I didn't get a chance."

It was quiet, but not awkward, just quiet between them for a few moments. Below they could hear the ruckus of gym class in progress. They could even hear the jarring of the basketball banker and the 'thwap!' as tennis rackets made contact with the ball. It echoed through the courtyards of Ashford, reverberating off of the tall builds that surrounded and refracting off the dorms.

Lelouch looked over towards the dorms. Mostly they were for the kids whose parents just wanted to get rid of them for the school year, several talked about how their real homes weren't that far from Lelouch's own house. But there were a few who lived there because their parents simply lived elsewhere in the country, which was what the dorms were meant for. Lelouch always wondered what category Cc. fit into, but she never mentioned her parents, her home, or her family, so Lelouch left the matter at that. C.c. liked to keep her secrets and Lelouch let her, and that was why their relationship flowed so well.

"He really just dragged you out of that street/?" C.c. asked.

"Pretty much," Lelouch said with a sigh.

"He swore he didn't know that men at all?" C.c. asked.

Sparing a glance over at the girl, Lelouch could tell she was having just a hard of time putting it all together as Lelouch was with the whole thing. "He—" Lelouch stopped looking down. "He said he didn't know him. But the man acted like he knew exactly what Suzaku was going through, like he'd been him at one point in his life. "

"You don't think that maybe Suzaku's taking something." It was so nonchalant that Lelouch knew no one else could say it but C.c. "It's not uncommon for soldiers to come home and get a little—well one thrill must be replaced with another."

"No." Lelouch said. "We had dinner for over an hour, there was no way. I would have known if he was on something."

It was quiet, neither of them sure what to suggest next to come up for Suzaku's recent absence.

"He didn't text me all weekend even."

"You did tell him you were going on a school trip, didn't you?" C.c. said, for once it seemed trying to give some ounce of comfort. On a normal day the school trip would have been the topic of discussion, but after the disaster of a date Lelouch had had with the much older man—there wasn't much talk that didn't involve his disaster of a date with older man.

Lelouch didn't look way from the sky. "After Sunday I didn't even expect him to call at all."

"You know, you probably weren't the only one shook up over what happened. I doubt that what happened was at all what he expected. Maybe he just needed some time, and maybe he was considerate enough to think that you needed the same."

His head, lulled to the side, enough to catch contact of one single golden eye. "Maybe he didn't want to face me after what he'd done."

C.c. gave a huff, and not a normal huff, more like a huff that told Lelouch her patience was running thin with him.

"What?" he growled.

"You're just taking this all in strides aren't you?" The scolding was given in the same bored tone she gave everything in.

With a snort, Lelouch leaned back against the wall. A little red faced he wasn't going to let C.c. see it that was for sure.

"Just answer, next time he calls." C.c. said as she stood. Her skirt whipped with the breeze for a moment as she walked around Lelouch to the door to the stairs.

Lelouch heard the clank of metal as C.c. fleeted through the door and back down into the school.

* * *

After a dead try the day before Suzaku wasn't sure he should even try again for the next couple of days. But his brain reasoned that he'd given Lelouch almost a week's worth of space—unintentional but he'd given it. The boy had to pick up his phone at some point even if it was just to tell Suzaku that it was over. Though as of then 'it' hadn't quite been clarified.

Leaning against the gray brick of the building Suzaku raised the phone to his ear and waited.

-and waited, and waited, and waited, until Lelouch's voice mail message came on, again.

Suzaku let out a huffed sigh before the beep signifying he could give a message.

"Hey," He said. He swallowed, not sure what to say at this point. It was the second message he'd left in the last few days. "Uhm, I called." Again. "I just wanted to talk to you about us.." that sounded oh so manly, didn't it? Might as well go take a Midol and drink some cranberry juice. "Look uh, if you get this just call me back. I was kind of wondering if you'd be up for a redo of last time." His case wasn't getting much better the farther he went on. "Just—just call me, okay."

With a loud snap, Suzaku clamped the phone shut in his fist and dispensed it in the pocket of his trousers before turning back to the door that led into the building.

That night Suzaku went home without a reply. He then went to bed without reply and got up the next morning without a reply. It was the first time in years he watched his phone like a hawk, kept it in his shirt pocket just in case, in hopes that maybe if he kept it on vibrate he'd stop checking it every couple of hours.

* * *

"Where is it?" She hissed as she came through the doorway into the formal living room.

Lelouch stood from the couch. Euphie was up as well and ushering Nunnally to come with her as she hurried out of the room. Lelouch felt the hard pressed pang of guilt in his throat as he thought of Euphie, of how Euphie's mother, rejected by Charles as well, had never acted with malcontent towards the family.

Lelouch's mother crossed the threshold into the room in longs strides, her twitching fingers already aiming for Lelouch, just like her wild eyes were locked onto him. "What have you done with it?" She hissed at him again.

Saying anything to her at this point was pointless so Lelouch just backs away. He can't stop his tongue though and bite out the snarl of a comment. "Why would I want that in this house?"

Marianne vi Britannia didn't look much like the photos that still hung in the house around them, Lelouch thought as he watched her face contort in a snarl. Behind her, on shelf's, and side tables, and even a full print on the wall are photos of a former her. A picture of her wedding day hangs behind Lelouch over the fireplace, encased in a gold-colored frame. The long elegant white dress, and happy smiles. A bouquet of calla lilies and roses, forget me not's, and baby's breath was in her hand, her other curled around the elbow of Lelouch's father—his constant bored expression through almost all of the wedding photos should have been Marianne's first clue it wouldn't last. Lelouch's eyes fleeted to a photo of a smart looking Marianne, just made partner to the law firm she now only dropped by every once and a while to collect her share.

"Give it to me." She snarled at him, snapping Lelouch's attention back to her.

That effortless, exotic beauty was so far from gone. Her long ebony hair once silk to the touch and shining black waters to see flooding over her shoulders was brittle, lack luster, barely combed, like rotted straw hung from her head. Her sunken face still glared at him, lipstick was smeared, probably from the shaking, and mascara had hastily been applied—more than likely before she had discovered that her stash in her purse was missing. The once coveted designer clothes hung off her shoulders in need of wash and repair. Lelouch was surprised she's even managed to find cloths that matched let alone the Jimmy Chew heels she stumbled forward in.

"Give them to me!" it was a scream this time.

Lelouch looked up, done lamenting over the powerful and strong woman he'd had as a mother at one point in his life. "No."

She lunged at him, her movements desperate and sloppy. Lelouch retreated in the direction of the drawing room. He was pretty certain that by now Euphie would have Nunnally up and in her bedroom, hopefully with her hands clasped over the poor girl's ears. As much as Lelouch hated her blindness, he was glad she'd never seen the horrid example of a woman that called herself their mother, not that she claimed them any longer.

"Where then?" Marianne screeched. Lelouch backed a few more steps into the room and away from the center as she attacked anything in sight. The drawers set into the French side table were ripped out of their slots, papers and things flying in the mad woman's search. She shattered a crystal paper weight and threw a silver vase to dent against the hardwood of the floor.

Marianne had worked all her life to rise up from her middle class, blue collar family. Her father had worked himself to death to just live day to day, and her mother had just—given up, tired of working all day every day. That woman had worked her way through a law degree at Yale. That woman had almost cried when she looked at the hourly wages of the first job she'd gotten as an attorney. That Woman had built herself and her reputation from the ground up. Of course, then she had met Senator Charles zi Britannia.

She toppled books off of their shelves and hurled a framed family photo to the floor in a sickening crack as the glass made contact with the hard wood. Lelouch eyes dropped to it. A much younger version of he and Nunnally smiled up at him, Marianne sat behind them, with Charles standing in back, his hand at her shoulder. Then a peep-toe heel entered his view. Another cracking of glass sounded as Marianne stepped on the broken frames surface. The photo crinkled and gave way, impaled on the speared heel and Marianne stepped over the mess to charge her son.

"Where have you hid it?"

Lelouch sprang from his corner, fleeting through doorways to the old servant's kitchen. Sayoko was there already, she seemed to know immediately what was going on as she moved to the back door trying to get it open—But Marianne was already through the drawing room door and Lelouch scattered the contents of the table as he ran through the closest doorway to the dining room. He'd almost come full circle through the house, making it to the entryway before Marianne caught him. Her long, deep red colored nails dug into his skin through the cloth of his sleeve as she wretched him around to look at her.

"Where is it, boy?" Marianne shook her sons arm, tried to shake his entire frame, drilling him for any information he would dare divulge. "Give it to me! I know you, you little weasel. You're always the cause of this! It's you, I know it! What have you done with it"

Lelouch set his jaw, jerking his arm out of her grip before taking a step backwards, standing almost exactly in the center of the foyer. "I threw it out."

"What?" Her face broke, as if it was an unthinkable prospect before her. "Lelouch, my son, you—" She shook her head, her finger twitched and shook as she raised them to her face. "You wouldn't."

He didn't say anything. His mother had heard him, he didn't need to keep going or further draw the pain out any longer.

"Tell me you didn't throw it away." Her lips trembled as she spoke. It was the first time that night that her voice had lowered to a respectable volume.

Lelouch raised his chin, there was an arrogant tick to the raising, as he proclaimed. "I threw it all away."

It took a moment for the words to barrage through her reason and want. "What?" she hissed. "What are you thinking you little shit?" it was a roar of emotion this time as she lurched at him.

A staggering step back was the only response Lelouch gave, his face morphed into disgust. "You really think I would have let that filth stay here? With Nunnally?" it was his turn to be angry. "We had no idea where you were! We never know where you are! You're almost as absent in our lives as our father. Why would I want to keep anything here that's yours?"

Marianne said nothing for a minute. "Don't you judge me, Lelouch."

His lip curled in a sneer as he watched his mother. What was she trying to convince him of? That this monster attacking him over nothing really wasn't who she was? With a sharp noise made with his tongue Lelouch turned, heading for the stairs, in slow deliberate strides. "Just leave us alone, mother. Go see our father; I'm sure he'll find you some Refrain somewhere."

"Don't you leave me!" She screamed at him as she reached out again.

Lelouch moved, trying to fleet out of her grasp, but failed. Her acrylic claws for nails snagged on his crisp white sleeve of his shirt and caught, stumbling back and they both toppled to the wood floors. Marianne was built so differently from her son. Though in disarray and general poor condition, she had the strong limbs of a born athlete, and with that strength she wrestled Lelouch to the ground, straddling over his stomach to pin him against the floors.

"Give it to me! What did you do with it?" She hissed and snarled and bit out as she yanked Lelouch up to her.

A hard backhanded slap made stinging contact to his cheek in the struggle, his trousers slid against the polished floor as he tried to get away from his mother to get to the stairs or the living room or just out from under her hold to run again.

"Their gone!" Lelouch huffed out as he raised his arm in defense.

Next thing Lelouch knew he was shoved down to the floor. A dazed and confused moment followed again in his head, he had to blink before he realized that he was being frisked by his mother.

"You've always been his favorite. He always gives you whatever you want. You always have his money, he practically throws it at you!" her rant didn't slow as she tore through his pants pockets before attacking the vest, going through every little nook to hide something in. "He's always taken care of you. Always!" She was screaming the words at him, angry over what she was saying to him because she hated the truth to them.

Buttons popped as she ripped the vest open, finding the inside pocket she clawed at the wallet there to get it out. Seconds later the woman stood as she shoved the found cash into her own pockets. The sound of clicking heels and small 'yes, I knew it' escaping her mouth was all that reached Lelouch's ears. She left everything else, ID, debit cards, everything and flung the wallet back to her son. Within a couple of minutes she was out the door. The purred hum of her Mercedes outside was followed by the screech of tires to accompany her frightful departure.

Lelouch gave a sigh letting his body still lie there for a moment, long enough to let his mind clear, let his body calm form the fight of flight situation he'd just been immersed in.

"Nunnally's wondering if you're alright." Euphemia stood at the top of the stairs, one hand rested on the banister and her other was held lank at her side. Her usual expression of blissful happiness was—marred. The frown that replaced her usual bright face didn't become her.

It took a bit of effort but Lelouch heaved himself up, slouching over his lap as he retrieved his raped wallet up from the floor. "Tell her I'm fine." He didn't turn his head as he spoke to her. It would take a few hours at least for the pain in his cheek to formulate into a bruise but he wasn't going to take any chances of Euphie seeing anything. "Tell her that I'll come in later and talk to her."

Euphemia did nothing but nod. Sayoko came in through the dining room, a wash cloth in her hand. She knelt next to Lelouch, whipping at his face with the rag to make sure there was nothing at least atop the skin that would give any cause for worry before picking herself up as well she trailed off towards the drawing room. The feeling of shame washed over him again as he looked down at his lap. This was so normal at that point that Sayoko hadn't even asked what to do, she just went to go clean up the mess, yet again.

His face finally turned as he heard Euphie's own heels as she made her way down the stairs. "If you moved into the main house you wouldn't have to put up with this. There's no way that—"

"We're fine here." Lelouch cut in. He was ashamed enough here. If they lived at the house all he'd get was the back biting whispers and glances. He wouldn't move there and he wouldn't drag his sister in through those blood soaked doors.

He saw the displeased purse of Euphie's lips, even the way she shifted her eyes down and away from meeting his own. "I have to get back to campus soon."

"Yeah,"

There wasn't anything else Lelouch could think to say. Euphie didn't belong there and they both knew it. She was too used to the massive hand that their father used to protect and constrict his children. She'd grown up with the lavish balls and parties, gotten any thing she'd wanted, never even needed to ask; been waited on since birth, and dressed like a little Britannian porcelain doll since day one. Unlike Lelouch and Nunnally she'd cleaved to her father the second her mother had separated from him. Lelouch gave a nod in acknowledgement of his thoughts. Euphie's pretty face and cheerful demeanor had helped out Charles's campaigns more than once in the past. It was the way it should be. Euphie would always have the comfortable lifestyle being a Britannia came with, because she had never had a mother like Marianne or a fight with their father or even questioned her family.

Lelouch looked straight down at the floor as Euphie just kept looking at the railing of the stairs. And without much else to be said it didn't take long before Lelouch heard the click of Euphie's footsteps back up the stairs and to Nunnally's room. She would probably be gone within an hour or so.

The phone still left in his pocket vibrated, and Lelouch reached in to pull it out and slide it open. 'New Voice Mail: Suzaku' strolled across the desktop of the phone. Lelouch looked at it for a long minute or so before he set the phone down on the floor, closed it, and watched as the screen dimmed. Even if he did call back, for once in Lelouch's life—he wasn't sure what he'd say.

* * *

He was getting sick of this one sided phone tag. It was more like hide and seek and Suzaku wasn't getting any leads. He wanted to throw his phone against the wall of his office but instead he moodily swung back in his chair, tossing the phone on his desk to brood over the thing for a few more minutes.

What was Lelouch's angle on this? Why couldn't he just answer Suzaku's call?

"It's just a damn phone call." Suzaku mumbled under his voice. That was all he wanted back. One phone call and if Lelouch wanted it over that was fine. Suzaku couldn't stop thinking how he just wanted an answer.

His fingers fumbled over the desktop until he got a good hold on the phone. He looked at it for a long few second before he flipped it open. He was not going to text Lelouch something after what had happened. Suzaku needed to call to talk about this. He couldn't do it over text, he refused to be that rude and insensitive to try anything over text. But he could just send a small message. Something to remind Lelouch that Suzaku was trying—

But he'd left voice mails. He'd left three at this point. It might be time to just quit. Give up and go home. But Suzaku—there was a part of him that never gave up on things. He never gave up on people and values and things. He couldn't let it die, because if he did there was no way he'd ever get himself to stop regretting it.

Suzaku tossed the phone back onto the desk. He was getting desperate, and it might just be better to let it all settle for a little longer. That didn't actually mean Suzaku wanted things to just settle…

"Major Kururugi?" an officer said as he poked his head in through the door a bit cautious as his hand knocked against the wooden door.

"Warrant Officer," Suzaku said in return, clearing his throat in an effort to clear his thoughts as well.

"Sir!" the man stepped into the room and stiffened into a salute.

"Warrant Officer," Suzaku repeated and barely noticed as the man relaxed. He started to riffle through the paper work that had been drowning him over the past week. "What do you need soldier," because the last thing Suzaku needed was to have to see to some mundane issue like recruiting again.

"Colonel Britannia wants to speak with you, sir."

His head snapped up as the words barely made it out of the man's mouth. "Again?" he realized that that probably wasn't the proper thing to say, but it was all he could think.

The chair gave a squeal of protest as Suzaku leaned back again. It wasn't like their first meeting had at all been somehow informative or even helpful on either end. Colonel Britannia had almost made Suzaku shit himself, but nothing else had really happened. She'd informed him of his own history and that was it. Any questions she had asked she had already known the answer, it wasn't like it was something about attraction. Hell, the whole base knew that Lieutenant Colonel Gilford was—well Suzaku wouldn't be surprised if Cornelia was the one that did the fucking in their relationship, but it was pretty plain there was a relationship there.

"Uhm, yes sir, again." the Warrant Officer stammered on.

Suzaku gave a huff of a sigh and reached behind him for the coat he'd hung on the back of his chair. "Well, tell her I'll be in momentarily." The moment he gathered this thoughts enough to be able to address a superior officer, he'd leave for her office. It was one thing to be blatantly informal with an inferior, but Suzaku was fine with casualties—most of his superior officers weren't. Bismarck had never liked it, but he had tolerated the small things but made sure they all stepped into line the moment it was needed. Cornelia—was an entirely different story. The minute details were her specialty, everything was to the letter of the law, nothing out of step or out of place.

"Yes sir!" the officer shouted as he dismissed himself.

"Okay." Suzaku said to himself. "Okay." He stood retrieved his coat, buttoning it up with care, smoothed over the front and took quick stock of his appearance, making sure it was good enough, before he went to the door and started to Cornelia's office. "Okay." Maybe the more he said it the more he'd believe it.

* * *

"Why did you move?" Cornelia clearly wasn't a person that beat around the bush much.

Suzaku sat there for a moment. Before nothing clicked officially and he figured he was allowed to further question. "Excuse me, ma'am?" moved where? For what? Why did he move back to the states? Well Bismarck was the answer to that.

"In Junior High, why did you move? Better yet where did you move to?" She was completely serious at this point. And it was the first time in Suzaku's life he couldn't see a way around answering that question.

He cleared his throat, thinking about how to answer before he just let it all spill out. "Me and my father didn't get along. He had different ideas about justice than I had."

She gave a curt nod. "And you lived..?"

"I lived in an apartment—It was cheap enough that if I saved I could afford the rent."Suzaku said with his head down, his hands clasped in his lap. There was no way to get around his answer and it was no secret that the Britannia family had certain—aspects about them that couldn't be over looked. They were the elite of the elitists, and the Senator Charles zi Britannia wasn't exactly quiet about his opinions, and Suzaku doubted his daughter would be as well.

"I see." She said. "You were self made from day one. " She never mumbled, it just wasn't something Cornelia ever did but she lowered her voice enough it perked Suzaku's interest. "And you lied on your transcript into high school."

"I didn't lie." Suzaku defended himself with an even tone. "My grandparents would have seen to anything that was wrong, just because I refused to live with them doesn't mean I couldn't consider them my legal guardians."

"And your address?" she hissed back.

It silenced Suzaku quick enough, smacking him back to reality and reminding him who he was talking to and that he was in no place to ever over step his bounds. Besides that, he didn't have an answer for that kind of question. He had lied. So he shut his mouth and looked down to the floor, hoping it was a clear sign of submission.

"My father always told me, show me your friend and I'll show you your future. The problem is I can't find your friends. All I have to go on is your past and that's a little hazy as well."

Suzaku didn't say anything, didn't even look up this time. He wasn't sure what he could say to make that better.

"You can leave now, Kururugi." She said as he leaned back in her chair, spinning just enough so she could look to the window behind her. "And expect to hear from me again."

"Yes ma'am." Suzaku said as he stood. He gave a quick salute before hurrying out of the room. If there was anything in his way it quickly got out of the way as Suzaku charge back to his office. It had been years since Suzaku had been broken down to that level over words. He hated it.

* * *

They didn't speak this time as they sat out on the roof. C.c.s' eyes were appraising him and Lelouch could almost feel it in the prickle of his skin as the girl made as many assumptions as she wanted, over the darkening mark across his cheek.

"Has she called at all?" C.c. asked.

"No." Lelouch said. He didn't raise his gaze to meet that of his friends. "She hasn't been home since." The words, thank god, were left unspoken.

"Euphie knows." It was a statement. "She came into student council twice this morning."

Licking his lips, Lelouch wasn't sure how to go on. "Yeah, uh, yeah, she was there."

C.c. raised her head up off her arms as she looked over at Lelouch. "I see. And did she say anything to you?" Her arms were still wrapped around her knees, and her hair still spooled over her shoulders and those sharp eyes were right on Lelouch as always.

"Not much. She suggested I move me and Nunnally back to the main house." Lelouch went on.

There was a certain understanding between C.c. and himself, which Lelouch couldn't quite define. He told her things he'd never told anyone. He confessed to things he'd never told anyone. And at the same time he never needed to confess. She was like him in a way and in enough of a way that she never asked questions. If she wanted answers she usually tried to find them out for herself. C.c. knew things about him because of that, things that he blamed on gym class or on his bad habits.

"Well?" her tone was sharp, wanting an answer she had to ask for.

Lelouch looked up at her. "I'm not moving us anywhere. I'm not moving back in with that man. I won't grovel at his feet." With a set jaw he looked back over to the railing. "Things with Charles only work in terms of gains. He gives me anything more than what he gives our mother and he will expect me to give to him at some point."

"Even as his child?"

Violet eyes narrowed. "Especially as his child."

* * *

One letter. It stared at him across the table and glared at him every morning Suzaku came in to get coffee. It was starting to haunt him and he wasn't sure why. Suzaku watched the letter across from him, as if it might grow a large, shark toothed mouth and sic him.

A part of him wanted to throw the letter away and just go to bed, but at the same time a part of him wanted to know what it said. He'd had it in his possession almost since day one back in the states. But that was the problem. The longer he kept the thing, the more he wanted to either open it or throw it away or send it back or just something! The thing was demanding action. That was the problem. He wanted to burn the letter, but he wanted to know what it said, and he wanted to know what it said, but he didn't want to give that man the satisfaction that he'd gotten to Suzaku and gotten him to actually pay attention to anything he said.

So the best option was burn it. …but Suzaku still wanted to know what it said!

His hand slammed down on the table and he used the leverage to shove himself upright and to his feet. He looked away from the letter, tossed his coffee mug into the sink and switched off the light as he went back to go to bed. His date wasn't calling him back, his superior officer was riding him harder than any officer had since boot camp, he'd gotten little to no sleep with the nightmares, and he really just wanted back into Bismarck's unit—a stupid letter should have been the least of his concerns.

* * *

Lelouch glared at his sister. There were few times in Lelouch's life when he really truly glared at Euphie. But that night as she sat at in the formal dining room of his own home, with his two older brothers to her right, Lelouch directed that look to kill straight at his sister. That night she wasn't Euphie at all, she was Euphemia and first and foremost a Britannian.

Around him the room was lit in a soft light, one that would hide the scrapes in the hard wood and the scuff marks around the furniture. Sayoko did a good job, as she always did, but there was only so much that could be done. There was still the proper airs in the wallpaper and the silver and the French cherry wood table. If no one looked at the details than nothing was amiss. But as Lelouch's eyes rested on Schneizel's sharp eyes and smug smile Lelouch already knew those icy blue eyes had picked up on every detail.

Lelouch hated to admit it though as he looked at his older brother Schneizel. He hated to admit Schneizel of all people knew what Lelouch told no one. Lelouch stood a little taller as he proceeded into the room. He set his coat over the back of one of the chairs as he stepped forward. The smell of coffee clung to his skin from work, but he'd left the dark green apron at work along with the name tag. His white shirt and slacks thankfully weren't as incriminating.

"Lelouch," Schneizel said as a greeting.

There was a chance that at some point Lelouch might have greeted back, but with Euphie standing just feet away, that anxious expression on her face, Lelouch knew exactly what this little house call was going to be about, and Lelouch wanted no part of it.

After a ringing silence allowed for enough time for the terms to be set and Lelouch to clearly not return the greeting, Odysseus spoke, "Have a seat, brother."

Lelouch opened his mouth, ready to retort that he'd rather stand, when Euphie caught his eye. She'd already seen enough embarrassing behavior in that house already and Lelouch wasn't going to have his sister see Lelouch get into another verbal confrontation with in one week's time.

He turned his head away to breathe as he pulled out the chair and slid into sit across from his two older brothers. His hands linked in his lap and he looked up slow to his siblings. Schneizel was smiling at him, that awful, terrible, vicious smile he always wore before he went after something he already considered his own.

"How are you?" Schneizel asked. "How is school going so far?"

Keeping up with pleasant conversations was the way that they worked, Lelouch reminded himself as he nodded. "We're doing fine. Nunnally is doing well at Ashford, as well as myself. As you can see there aren't any problems here that I can't take care of. "

"Nunnally is at Ashford now?" Odysseus followed up.

"Yes." Lelouch said. His eyes only fleeted to Odysseus's face for half a second before he focused back on icy blue eyes. "They have a several aides that help her with getting things in Braille, besides they let Sayoko freely on the grounds."

"Euphie," Schneizel spoke soft and charming as ever as he looked over his shoulder, "Would you mind getting us a bit of tea?"

They all knew that there was no reason to ask Euphie, Sayoko could have taken car of it, but none of them said a word as Euphie nodded and went to do as Schneizel asked.

"Oh, uhm yes of course." Her eyes fleeted to Lelouch before she stepped through the doorway and out of sight.

The door swung in her absence and Lelouch continued to watch the space she had formerly occupied, almost wishing she had stayed, just long enough to stay the storm that much longer.

"Euphie tells me you're getting started on college early." Schneizel went on in his same casual tone. "You're getting ready for ACT?"

He leaned back in his chair his arm resting askew on the arm rest. Lelouch hated the way he would do that. His shoulder's were spread wide with the action, showing every amount of dominance that Schneizel could squeeze out of one image. Schneizel was most of all, all about image. It had gotten him far as well. Unlike the rest of his family that went straight into politics of some sort Schneizel had as always, had taken a more creative method to control-business. And from the shine in his blond hair, down the pinstripes of a suit that cost more than Lelouch's monthly household budget to the perfectly polished leather shoes, Schneizel had become every bit of a more deadly predator in his chosen field.

"Yeah, I'm working on SAT's as well." Before Schneizel should ask Lelouch figured he should go ahead and go on. "I'm looking into Cornell or maybe Stanford."

An eyebrow arched at that. "Oh really? Both of those schools are a quite a good distance from home, Lelouch."

He didn't answer instead looking over to the clock.

"Well, you have a couple of years still ahead to choose." Odysseus said, trying to curb the tension in the room. "We have no doubt you'll make a good choice."

With a flick of his eyes Lelouch looked away from the walls back to his siblings. It would be considered rude but at the same time—"What do you want?" he locked eyes on to Schneizel again, this time confronting him with his own gaze instead of just watching. "Why are you two here?"

A smile quirked again as Schneizel leaned forward and rested a hand to lean against on the table. "The family is concerned."

"Euphie," Lelouch hissed under his voice. "She had no right—"

"Euphie is concerned as well," Schneizel politely interjected. He held his hand up to try and qualm Lelouch. "Don't blame her, we would have found out what Marianne was doing here anyway."

The scrap of the chair across the floor was the only sound as Lelouch stood. "Get out." Lelouch growled. They'd known, they'd known from day one what Marianne had done to her children the second Charles turned her out. His father had even to an extent given her the money and Lelouch still had a hunch he was still giving her money and if he wasn't she sure as hell knew where to find it, even if it was right off of her children. They knew, and Lelouch hated it when any of them lied to him about it.

"We're here became our father is concerned, Lelouch." Odysseus spoke up again.

Not sparing a glance in his eldest brother's direction Lelouch placed his hands on the table to look Schneizel square in the eyes. "I said get out."

Those blue eyes only blinked, resting closed for just a moment before Schneizel looks up at him, looked up at Lelouch like he was a child throwing a temper tantrum over a piece of candy. "Lelouch, please take a seat. I would like to have a civil conversation with you."

Euphie came in the door then. The silver tray in her hands she kept her eyes down as she set the tray onto the table top. The clank of china sounded as she went to disperse the cup among the three men. Before she could get the first cup out Schneizel placed his hand upon hers.

"That will be fine Euphie." It was a clear message. Schneizel was just like their father in many ways and one of those ways was that he held the family to a certain standard. He wasn't about to let Euphie lower herself enough to act like a common maid.

"Oh alright," Euphie said with a small smile before she stood and giving a polite dip of her head fleeted through the door again. This time she didn't need an order from her older brothers.

Lelouch's eyes settled on the china. It was real—and valuable, along with the silver tray and utensils. He quirked a smile. Sayoko had been a lot of help to he and Nunnally. When their mother had started to ransack the house for valuables she'd acted without even a peep. The house may be in need of a good polish and repair but there was still value, hidden where the very wise maid knew the Mistress of the house would never find any of it. Painting and tapestries, the china, silver, candelabra's, books, jewels even, had all disappeared over night. With Marianne's head always s in focus of one thing she'd never noticed the changes. Each time she came home she would take more, but what she never noticed was that more had just disappeared.

He could have scolded Sayoko for never telling him where the things in the house were but through the years he had learned that Sayoko knew exactly where everything in the house was and she knew that at certain times it still had to be brought out—made to look like their home was as filthy rich as any other Britannian home.

Lelouch's eyes fleeted to the walls, bare. The wallpaper was expensive enough, but Lelouch doubted Sayoko had had enough time to find a painting to make the room look indulgent. She had found the china though, and the silver, or at least enough of it to hopefully fool Lelouch's family into leaving.

With that very thought in mind, that trickery the whole house had been playing over Charles's eyes for years Lelouch took up his seat again. Getting angry was very Britannian, acting angry on the other hand.

Schneizel nodded to him, quirking a smile of his own. Lelouch didn't smile back. He could hear it wafting off of his brother's countenance the clear impression of: I win, Lelouch. I win.

"This is quite excellent tea, Lelouch." Odysseus said. "As always that maid of yours is quite the cook."

They didn't say anything. Lelouch was happy enough to let Odysseus just sit there and sip at the tea, enjoy the ride a while, watching Schneizel do his job.

"Indeed," Schneizel lied through the pleasantry, his tea still sat in front of him, untouched. "You know Lelouch our father has talked about you recently. He'd talked about maybe taking you on as an intern at his office. Wouldn't that be an opportunity of a lifetime?"

Lelouch was realizing just how long he'd been away for his family. Dealing with his mother he'd become accustom to actual fighting, yelling, screaming, insulting, even physical violence if she was desperate enough. He'd forgotten what it was like to disagree with his eldest brother and not be able to get angry about it to his face, not be able to call him out for what Lelouch knew he was, for the con he was trying to pull over Lelouch's eyes.

"I'm afraid I wouldn't have time." Lelouch gave as polite of an answer as he could.

"Oh yes," Schneizel said. "Especially with that little coffee shop job of yours."

Violet eyes flicked up at that.

"Yes, Lelouch we know all about that little job of yours. To your credit we didn't find out until about three months ago. It would have taken us longer if you hadn't of chosen somewhere so close to Cornelia's post." Schneizel leaned back in his chair, comfortable with the tone of the conversation now as he went on. "Our sister has made a lot more progress than I would have ever thought there. Not for herself, I never doubted that, but she's gotten quite a few recruits there as well. She is working on a couple now she thinks might be able to help father's career along."

His eyes down again Lelouch looked off towards the table. He wanted to ask why Schneizel always felt the need to fill Lelouch in on the things he never wished to hear, but instead he just nodded.

"I'm sure Euphie has already told you, but she's doing quite well also, her student teaching is almost through and we're working on getting her to go back for a doctorate, it'll be best for her."

Lelouch looked up, his mouth forming a hard line.

"You see, everyone in this family gets it Lelouch. We give you opportunities and you take them, because that's how it works. We succeed as a whole."

…or we each die alone? Lelouch couldn't stand to look into those icy blue eyes anymore. "I'm fine where I'm at." Forcing himself to look up, Lelouch didn't smile. "I quite enjoy working there. It fits me." –as a Lamprouge.

Schneizel sat forward again. "Lelouch,"

"I'm asking politely this time if you would please leave my home. Nunnally should be in bed by now and I have homework." Lelouch stood, slowly this time to show his eldest brothers to the door. "I wouldn't want to keep you from your own families."

Schneizel had no family—he had Kanon, the little weasel that did all the really dirty work, but Odysseus had married some little pea-brained of a girl and had followed dutifully along the steps their father had laid out for him. From the look of the suits Odysseus was starting to wear and the way he'd been shaping up his family—"Good luck with your campaign Odysseus."

As he said it Lelouch locked eyes with icy blue eyes. He let a smile spread across his pretty face and gestured to show the two men out.

"Oh! Well thank you, Lelouch." Odysseus said as he stood, going to shake Lelouch's hand in a brotherly kind of way.

Accepting wasn't so much of an option as it was a priority so Lelouch gave Odysseus a different kind of smile and even suffered through a pat on the back goodbye, leading the man to the door.

Schneizel wasn't so quick to latch onto Lelouch's shut down of the conversation. He had stood from the table but walked slow as he continued into the entryway. He tugged on his coat and flipped the scarf over the back of his neck, taking his time with the act before facing Lelouch.

Lelouch just smiled back, holding his arm out towards the door in a gesture to set the statement that this was Lelouch's home still; he did have the right to not oblige his brothers. It was easier said than done though, Lelouch reminded himself as Schneizel strode closer to him.

"I'm sure our little sister is doing well?" Schneizel asked for the first time about Nunnally as his fingers pulled the coat closer to him, buttoning it up.

Shoulders tensing Lelouch watched his brother as he answered. "She is doing well." He forced himself to continue to watch his brother instead of glancing up the stairs to Nunnally's room.

"And her health?" Schneizel's handsome smile didn't falter as he looked up at Lelouch, watching Lelouch for anything he could glean from the conversation. Lelouch knew because he himself was doing the same thing.

"She's fine. Sayoko has helped out with her a lot. Nunnally's been doing well under her care." Keeping his tone as even as he could Lelouch chanced a glance to his other brother.

Odysseus stood at the door, his face blank and just as confused. It was clear the purpose of this visit had been to convince Lelouch of something, whatever that was, and that Odysseus looked to think that that message had been delivered. Quickly, Lelouch focused back on to Schneizel, his eyes narrowing.

"I see. And her schooling?" Schneizel went on with a pleasant smile.

"As always, Nunnally is paying great attention to her studies." Quickly, Lelouch tried to think where his sister was at that moment. She should have been upstairs, preparing for bed. But there was only one set of stairs in the house and Sayoko hadn't gone up them as long as Lelouch had been home, so there was no way that Nunnally would be in bed like she should have been. Lelouch just needed to hurry this up so he could be free to go and check on her.

"Of course," Schneizel said, but he stepped closer to Lelouch, letting his hand rest at Lelouch's elbow, as if he were going to guide his brother through some traumatic event. "I do worry about her safety though, here. With Marianne acting how she has as of late I'm not sure she is best off staying here."

Livid—that was the only thing that Lelouch could feel immediately coursing through his veins. He looked away. Lelouch felt he had to look away as he clamped his mouth shut, the muscles along his jaw tightening to the point of pain. Bet he couldn't keep his gaze down, he couldn't just let this grievance just go. His violet eyes gave a sharp upturn and bore up at his larger brother. Lelouch let that gaze so full of utter rage broil and burn right up at that man, letting Schneizel know exactly how Lelouch felt over the matter. His body tensed and Lelouch forced his arm out of Schneizel's grasp in a firm but subtle movement.

And that bastard was smiling back at him. His voice was even and just as pleasant. "Well, it is getting quite late. Thank you for having us, Lelouch." With a single step Schneizel backed away from Lelouch's now taunt form and casually let his expression turn smug.

"Euphemia," Odysseus called through the entryway.

She must have been ready because almost upon the very instance the first syllable of her name was out she was coming out through the kitchen, A fashionable pea coat already on her shoulders as she came through the dinning room to join the rest of her family. With a sweet smile Odysseus held out his arm and she took it without needing any more prompting. She didn't say anything. She didn't need to say anything as for the first time since had reentered her eyes lifted just enough that Lelouch could catch her glance. Euphemia immediately looked back down to her petite little shoes.

Odysseus gave a fake pleasant smile as he opened the door. "It has been so lovely to see you again, brother. Father will love to hear that you are doing well."

If it was possible, Lelouch felt his chest feeling even more with that same hot rage. He should have known they would be reporting straight back to his father. It was becoming quite clear exactly what their intentions in Lelouch's house had been. There wasn't any concern, just like there never would be or had been, there was just another change for his brother to get gain.

Lelouch stepped forward as Odysseus let himself out the door, pulling on his coat as he did so, and guiding Euphie along with him.

"I'll talk to you later, okay?" Euphie said as she turned once they were down the stairs and on the walkway. Her hand still tucked around Odysseus' elbow and her other hand clasped at the collar of her pea coat, holding it close to her face. Her soft eyes were looking up at Lelouch, pleading in that soft pale lavender.

For one moment Lelouch could feel the rage release as he looked at his older sister. Lelouch was reluctant as he stepped forward to the threshold of the doorway but he pursed his lips as he gave Euphemia a single definite nod. It was enough for a small though worried smile to break on her lips as she turned letting Odysseus lead her to the car.

Unfortunately Schneizel stepped closer, this time laying both hands on his brother. He came up behind him, resting his hands over the peaks of Lelouch's shoulders. Lelouch could feel the brush of Schneizel's soft hair against his own, could sense the radiating heat from his brother's body as he was forced to lean over to speak in his brothers ear. It was insulting how small Lelouch felt at that moment. Lelouch's eyes moved down, his own shadow was completely blotted out, and in its place was Schneizel—the looming lumbering and broad form of his brother completely encompassed Lelouch's own shadow.

"It's been an eventful evening."

Lelouch could feel the rolling heat of Schnitzel's breath over the skin at his cheek. It was so hot Lelouch had to turn his head, had to get away somehow from the scolding feeling across his senses. It felt like Marianne had struck him again, Lelouch could feel the sting as the back of her hand made contact across his face—this time it was different though. There was the bite of his words, the sing of Schneizel's arrogance, and the fear of what Schneizel would do to him.

"I'm sure you will take what I have said into consideration—and that you will make the right decision," his voice wasn't of velvet or even toned this time. It was rolling, deep and commanding. It was a voice Lelouch knew Schneizel used when he wanted him to listen very carefully. "You need to consider your own situation as well as that of Nunnally's."

Then his brother was brushing past Lelouch. Then Schneizel was sliding his hands away from Lelouch and sliding out the door to follow Odysseus. Then there was just Lelouch left in that doorway, his eyes were lingering on the silhouette spanning across the steps. With the light of the house behind, Lelouch could perfectly see his own shadow now, could see his own slight frame. The impression of his brothers shadow fresh in his thoughts Lelouch could do nothing but look down at his narrow set shoulders and shallow chest and sneer with his rage.

When Lelouch finally had the gall to look up, again he caught one more flash of steel blue, cold eyes and a smug smile as Schneizel slid into the back of the car, Odysseus doing the same on the opposite side.

Before the driver had time to make it down the street Lelouch pivoted, storming back into his own house he left the door open as he charged back into the dining room to retrieve his jacket. He flung it over his shoulders, shoving his arms through sleeves and with a violent movement fitted the fabric over his shoulders.

"Sir?" Sayoko stood in the entryway. Her hands were down, clasped in front of her as she looked onto her employer.

"I'll be late tonight." Lelouch hissed as he strode past her on his way to the door. The leather jacket hugged his form as his shoulders hunched, Lelouch unwilling to make eye contact with his maid.

"Sir," Her tone was louder, much more firm this time. There was no sound as she turned watching him from at the doorway.

It did stop Lelouch. "Make sure Nunnally gets to bed, she'll get sick if she stays up too late." And with that he was charging his way through the doorway, his stride long as he descended the steps.

His eyes straight ahead, all that ran through Lelouch's head was those words, the snide and casual way his brother let his body press down over Lelouch's. His thoughts were completely consumed with those icy blue eyes mocking him. Lelouch could only think of how his brother were probably already on the phone with his father. His mind wrapped around how his sister had been so submissive to their every command. She had acted upon every beck and call Schneizel would give. White hot with rage he could think of nothing else but the haughty way his family had come to his home and left in the same manner. They thought they owned him! It was his home, his family there and his things—and they had acted like he should come crawling back to them like a-

"I know."

This time Lelouch truly stopped. It became clear that Sayoko wasn't speaking to him as a maid would speak to her master. Lelouch heard the sound of his shoes scrape to a halt in the middle of the sidewalk in the middle of his front yard. When he turned he found Sayoko coming down the steps to him.

"I will take care of her." Sayoko assured, promised. She stepped forward to pull Lelouch's jacket up around his neck, to help block out the cold. "This house will be fine." When she finished she let her hands drop but did not drop her eyes.

Lelouch felt the sigh as he gave it, and he nodded.

"Now, I will make sure Nunnally knows that you are safe and that you will be there for her in the morning." Sayoko went on her eyes still looking straight up at Lelouch. "I will clean up and tomorrow night we will talk about this. If the mistress is to return, I'm starting to believe we need some sort of backup plan."

Lelouch only nods, knowing that Sayoko is only echoing his own thoughts. They couldn't let their mother just keeping taking and taking—soon they wouldn't have anything left. It didn't matter that the bank accounts were locked and sealed against her, It didn't matter that the silver was hidden or that more and more things were being moved to the attic. The family was getting involved, meaning there had to be some sort of change in how Lelouch and Sayoko were handling the tense relationship with the 'mistress' of the house.

Done giving her message Sayoko turned and went back up the step to the door. "And Lelouch," Sayoko rarely said his name, but when she did—Lelouch knew he should listen.

It almost hurt to raise his eyes knowing what he'd almost done, what he's wanted to do—but he looked up to his maid.

"Please don't dirty any dishes if you get home late. The longer they sit in the sink the harder they are to clean in the morning." Sayoko sighed before she continued into the house, closing the door behind her with a quiet click.

And with that Lelouch was left in the middle of his front yard. He looked down at his feet before reluctant but feeling the flare of his anger—even put at bay from Sayoko—he pulled his phone from his back pocket. He had three voice mail messages. Not a one had he check. Lelouch didn't even bother now either and just raised the phone to his ear as he turned to the street again.

* * *

One thing that had to go was the air mattress. If nothing else in his apartment went it was the air mattress. Suzaku couldn't exactly say he'd gone shopping for furniture. He had a couch and a table and a couple of chairs, a dresser—but the air mattress had to go! He wasn't sure where he was going to be able to find a proper bed or even have the time to move it into his apartment. But damn it all he was sick of slowly sinking to the floor every night!

It was uncomfortable besides, the covers a mess around him and three extra pillows to try and help the issue of comfort, Suzaku had finally achieved sleep. It was a long process usually. Not that he was extra picky over anything he just—wanted a bed. It could have been the fact he was back in the states—he expected things like Starbucks, and cell phones and a comfortable bed at night. That was probably the exact reason. He had gotten himself a proper cell phone, he'd been to Starbucks several times, and now he felt robbed of a comfortable bed!

But he was asleep. He didn't have to think about the superior officer that was interrogating him or even the air mattress—he was in blissful numb sleep. At least until—

His eyes didn't even open at the sound of his default ring. It was almost instinctive for him to immediately reach for it without having to be fully awake. It was hard to teach an old dog new tricks and within half a second Suzaku had the phone flipped open and to his ear.

"This is Kururugi."

There was a moment of silence. There was no relay of orders, or coordinates of target, or even a voice he considered that of comrade. And then there was an answer. "…Suzaku?"

His eyes flew open and he was on his side in half a second, making sure he was awake this time. It very well could have been a dream for all he knew.

"Le—Lelouch?" Suzaku had to make sure. It had been two days since Suzaku had given up on ever hearing from the other boy again. He had thought that it was completely over. It wasn't like he'd had a star performance on their first date anyway. "What time—" his fingers toppled things over in his search for the alarm clock he knew was there—somewhere. Finally he found it, jerking the small box up to see the red numbers looking up at him. "Oh…" It definitely wasn't the most typical of time to be calling, but Suzaku wasn't going to be picky.

"Yeah." Lelouch sighed on the other end. "I know it's not exactly the right time—I just…"

Suzaku could hear it. It was s faint in Lelouch's voice. But Suzaku knew it when he heard it. It was in the way Lelouch was letting himself jumble his words. In the way his voice sounded weak.

"If it's too late, I mean I didn't—this isn't just a, you know…" It was the first time Suzaku had ever heard Lelouch in such a state. It was a scatter of words and a fragment in thoughts almost. Suzaku hated to admit it, but he knew how helpless that felt. "I know what this must sound like… But believe me, I'm not like that."

"I know, Lelouch." Suzaku said as he searched again, this time for his keys. "Where are you?"

* * *

"Thank you." Lelouch said yet again as Suzaku made sure Lelouch sat down at his table. There were only two chairs set on opposite sides of the linoleum table.

"Yeah." Suzaku said. He had already turned to the coffee machine.

From the moment Suzaku had seen the younger boy now seated in his kitchen, Suzaku hadn't really known what to say. It could be said that this was some form of turnabout. If the angry Suzaku, the Suzaku ready to strike that Lelouch had seen that night had been Suzaku's worst this Lelouch—shoulders slumped, eyes not moving from the floor—this Lelouch must have been the flip side of the coin.

Suzaku took out a couple of mugs, filling them before he turned. "It's decaf." It was way too early in the morning and a good few hours before Suzaku had to be up for work so caffeine wasn't something that Suzaku was in any need of.

Lelouch nodded. "Thank you." It was probably the first time that night that Lelouch looked up, tipping his chin just enough for Suzaku to finally see Lelouch enough to catch a moment of eye contact.

It was a harsh movement, but as the light fell over Lelouch's pale skin Suzaku could see just enough of a bruise his hand reacted first and he grasped Lelouch's chin, tipping his head up even more. This time, his hair slid back from his face and those violet eyes widened for just a moment as Suzaku focused on the revealed discoloration across Lelouch's cheek bone.

"What happened?" Suzaku asked, his own eyes were searching the mark. He'd never had much medical training so he wasn't sure if there was even much to do for the bruise at that point.

A sneer on his face, Lelouch hissed out his answer. "I fell down the stairs." And just to add insult to injury Lelouch jerked his head, escaping Suzaku's hold on him.

Clearly, there were still some issues between them. "Fine," the growl back rumbled in his chest as Suzaku turned away. He snatched his own mug of coffee and slumped into the chair opposite to drink it in silence.

Across the table, Lelouch's finger stroked thee smooth surface of the coffee mug handle. When he finally looked up from his cup he locked Suzaku in a hard stare. "Who was that man?"

His face scrunched. "Who?" Suzaku's mouth hung open for just a moment even he was so confused.

"In the alleyway, who was that man who spoke to us?" Lelouch's voice was stronger, louder this time.

A sigh was the first thing that came through Suzaku's open mouth. "I don't know." He closed his eyes, letting his body slump in the chair and leaning his head back on the top of the chair. He set his coffee on the table and waited for the bad to just get worse.

"Fine," Lelouch mimicked back to him.

And silence. Again.

After a moment of realizing he couldn't just fall asleep like that Suzaku sat up to see the coffee he didn't want to drink and the boy who had wanted his help, but now refused to do anything but start a fight again. Then there was the letter. It stared up at him from the linoleum table top.

Suzaku had had enough and picked up the letter, chucking it to the counter as he got up from his seat. The coffee was set on the counter near the sink and Suzaku let the letter skid into the dark corner next to the fridge.

"Junk mail?" Lelouch asked.

It spooked Suzaku that his tone wasn't biting for a moment so much that he almost didn't answer. His head craned back behind him, to see that Lelouch was looking back at him at that point, he wasn't glaring at least that time around.

"Something like that."

He looked away sharp, back down to his coffee that he wasn't drinking either.

Suzaku gave a sigh. It was four hours until he had to be up and ready for a eight hour work day. Whatever amount of sleep he could get would be in his best interest at that point in his life, and he didn't need to waste that time on conversation that was going nowhere, and company that he barely got along with. And the last part was becoming very clear to Suzaku.

But it wasn't in Suzaku to just kick the boy out. "Look, I just have an air mattress right now, but—I have to go to bed, Lelouch. I'll take the couch just in case you want to stay, but I can't stay up with you right now."

A nod again, "Aright."

Suzaku nodded back, his arms crossed over his chest. He was still in pajama's and he knew he owned a blanket in the closet so there wasn't much reason to stay in the room with Lelouch. So with another nod Suzaku pushed off from the counter.

He was past the table before he felt Lelouch reach out. It was a light grasp at his wrist, but Suzaku froze at the contact.

"Thank you." Lelouch said again, this time his eyes were on Suzaku, but not pinning him for an answer, or wanting anything from him, or even watching for a reaction. Lelouch was looking at him this time to just convey his own message.

"Y-yeah." Suzaku stumbled out an answer.

Lelouch's hand fell away and his fingers curled around the handle of the coffee mug.

With that Suzaku turned to his living room. He pulled a blanket from the closet and searched for a pillow to find none and resurface to see the kitchen cleared. Both mugs of coffee were in the sink and the light was off. Suzaku wasn't interested enough to go see if Lelouch had taken his offer and instead laid down on his couch to try and finish the night out.

* * *

The air mattress was horrible. It was the first time in Lelouch's life that he had even tried to sleep on an air mattress and he was not impressed. After tossing and turning for a good while Lelouch had to admit it was a losing battle. He took a pillow with him then as he crept through the apartment. It was more than likely a bad idea what he wanted, and he knew that they weren't really—okay so they kind of hated each other at that point, but—

But Lelouch had turned to Suzaku, and Suzaku had been there. If actions really did speak louder than words that one action had thundered through the small bond the two of them had.

So there Lelouch was, trying to sneak his way into the living room without letting Suzaku know that Lelouch wanted to sleep next to him. Lelouch was trying very hard to not think of it as creepy. Suzaku have been very chivalrous and let Lelouch have the air mattress in the bedroom, so in all fairness Lelouch should have just been happy and stayed there until Suzaku got up and left. He wasn't though, and that selfish part of him had flared at the idea that he might be able to sleep wrapped in Suzaku's arms. That idea had consumed him in place of all thoughts of that night and Lelouch found Suzaku sprawled out on the couch. The blanket was trailed across the floor, making it easy for Lelouch to lift it and try and slide onto the bit of space that was free.

"Lelouch?" it was raspy and groggy, and unfortunately it meant that as stealthy as Lelouch had tried to be—Suzaku was awake.

"Yeah…" Lelouch breathed. He wasn't sure what else he should say, 'hi' certainly didn't sound like the best option.

Suzaku slid up on his elbow, a corner of the blanket flapping back to reveal a tanned shoulder. A blush spread on Lelouch's face as he averted his gaze only to find the discarded shirt on the floor.

"I'm sorry." Lelouch started. "I didn't realize…"

There was another sigh from Suzaku. "Lelouch—just… come here."

An arm hooked around Lelouch's neck and jerked him down next to Suzaku on the couch. Almost immediate Lelouch could feel the warmth from Suzaku's bare chest. That arm curled around him as Suzaku slid back down.

"Good, you brought a pillow." Suzaku grumbled and relieved Lelouch of the mass of fluff.

He pounded it into the crack between the cushion and the couch arm before he laid his head on it. Lelouch had to admit that he was just thankful Suzaku didn't call him out on how abnormal it was to crawl in next to the boy he'd been ignoring for the past week, let alone how he'd treated him within the last hour.

"Suzaku…" Lelouch started, leaning in to press against that great warmth.

"Shut up." Suzaku grumbled. He turned just enough to be able to look at Lelouch as he spoke. "I have to get up in three hours. I need sleep, Lelouch."

It was Lelouch's time to sigh. "Alright," He could at least understand that. Lelouch did have school himself in the morning, not nearly as early but he still had to make it home in time to get a uniform for school. Conceding Lelouch let his head settle into the pillow. He had no idea what tomorrow would hold but whatever it was, Lelouch at least now knew someone would be there.


	4. Playing the Game

The first time Lelouch had privately crossed paths with his elder bother by eight years, Schneizel, Lelouch was seven. The Britannian estate was big, but no house was big enough to house all the children from five different mothers. There was little to no precedence for it either from Lelouch's own mother. No one liked to be reminded that they could be deemed useless at any time and toss out like the rest to come before.

Lelouch was a quiet child. Bossy and quick tempered, but to his own credit—he was quiet. Talking was after all the only thing that anyone in the estate did. The help whispered among themselves. The other children giggled and chattered on. Nunnally had just learned the art of really holding up a conversation and though very small, and weak and at a far disadvantage managed to draw conversation out of anyone that would see to her. Lelouch's own mother had a knack for never shutting up, always going on and on, desperate to hold Charles attention just a bit longer.

But that was not the case of the small boy with the big, luminous violet eyes of his father. Lelouch preferred to sit alone, and to watch. The world around him moved at such a speed, with such velocity. He preferred to seek out the pattern where everyone else seemed to only recognize chaos.

The lush indoor gardens of the west wing, at least during the day, remained for the most part unoccupied. It was the perfect place for a Lelouch to escape the constant chatter.

Rounding the corner in the path, Lelouch was already opening the book in hand. Reading like the violin, or his silver tongued charm had come effortless, like it was a natural groove that only required Lelouch's attention to polish into perfection. It wasn't until there was a break in the greenery and Lelouch ducked out from under a low hanging fern that he realized he wasn't alone.

Sitting at the small iron framed table was Schneizel el Britannia.

Like Lelouch he was dressed in a suit tailored to fit him. Unlike Lelouch the suit was a soft light blue color, the cravat pin at Schneizel's throat a deep sapphire. Like Lelouch his hair had been neatly parted and combed. Unlike Lelouch it was the perfect blonde every woman dreamed of having, and waved at his ears adding to an already developing handsome charm. Like Lelouch immediately Schneizel focused his eyes, seeming to size up the new prospects first. Unlike Lelouch, Schneizel's did not own his father's eyes.

No, Lelouch would never in his wildest dreams be able to forget Schneizel's eyes. There were almost solid in color, like beams of fresh light under those thick blonde eyelashes. They were like looking into the arctic barrens of the world, giving that glacteral gaze power enough to freeze anyone.

Lelouch still remembered the sharp intake of breathe he took upon making eye contact with those eyes. He remembered that he had stopped, his feet frozen in place.

Neither of them spoke.

Schneizel was the one to move, flicking his eyes over the appearance of his younger brother. They had met in formal terms, exchanging names, and acknowledging that they were of the same linage, nothing more in their relationship had ever developed. This was different. This was with no supervision of adults or the leering eyes of their father or the tutts of disproval from their respective mothers. This was uncharted territory.

With effortless grace that Lelouch would learn in later years, Schneizel reached out his hand and plucked a piece from the chess board on the table. He offered out the black king to Lelouch, the piece resting in his palm.

"Would you like to play with me?" Schneizel's voice would always be the thing that melted the frigid truth of his gaze. With eyes like frozen daggers it was only a matter of survival that Schneizel leaned to drop his the sound of his voice into warm tones of honey.

It took Lelouch a moment, but without a word he stepped forward and accepted the chess piece. If he was to learn to play the game, he figured he might as well learn from the best.

* * *

Suzaku had to admit that of all the things that Cornelia's office was—comfortable was never one of those things. And yet here he was again, half awake and trying to think of what on earth Cornelia would have left to talk about.

She never beat around the bush, she never even attempted at small talk, and this time was no different. Suzaku looked up as Cornelia tossed a plastic evidence bag onto the desk, purposefully right in plain sight of Suzaku. It was at least ten years old give or take a few years. But that didn't change the black incrusted blood along the blades edge.

"So tell me, where did you learn to fight with a knife." Cornelia said with a stead voice, folding her hands in front of her, leaning her elbows on the desk.

Suzaku's eyes were on the blade in that evidence bag. It was a kitchen knife. He could feel the muscles in his jaws contract and tighten. Eyes were already wide so there was nothing else to do but stare as the worst that could have possibly happened happen. His dominate right hand flexed, hidden from view with the desk, fisting tight as memory seeped through the cracks of his composure.

"Enlighten me, Major Kururugi, why was it that you moved out of your father's house at fourteen?" More questions. It was always more questions anymore when it came to Coronel Britannia. The worst was that most of the time she never seemed to want an answer and if she did it was an answer Suzaku was sure she already knew far in advance.

Suzaku didn't shake his gaze. The knife still had the thin trace of where a hand had been at one point. It was where a much smaller, but still a broad hand, that had grasped that knife. His eyes flicked down to his hand in his lap, still tightly fisted.

"Those—my minor records are sealed." Suzaku said as he looked up, locking a steady gaze onto his superior's face.

"That wasn't an answer to my question." Cornelia went on. She stared right back at Suzaku.

The chair scrapped against the floor as Suzaku stood. "Those records are sealed." Suzaku growled.

Cornelia sat back in her chair. "Sit down, Kururugi." She sighed heavy.

There was a minute where Suzaku didn't move at all. He just stared at the Cornel, but it didn't last and as Suzaku always did, eventually he followed orders. He didn't get comfortable, sitting on the edge of the chair while he still continued to watch to see Cornelia's next move.

"You know, when Bismarck suggested you, I told him he was crazy." Cornelia said as she leaned forward to open the drawer of her desk. He pulled out photo prints that she held in her hands, examining them herself. "There is no use for an out of control soldier, especially one that is so highly trained and well armed as you." Her eyes ran over the photos one more time before she set the photos onto the desk for Suzaku to catch a glimpse.

If the knife had set him on edge—the second he saw that girls face, dead green eyes staring back at him, Suzaku shrunk back, his mouth snapped and locked shut as the nightmares ran through his head. How did they get these pictures? No one was there, no one but his partner, Gino. Not that he or Gino could remain quiet about what had happened. The entire mission had gone wrong from the moment the target had set the place ablaze. That still didn't account for photos. The only images Suzaku had ever though made it out of there had been the ones imprinted in his memory.

"Now I'm going to ask you one more time, why did you leave your father's house at fourteen years old?"

Suzaku's mouth hung open just slightly, slack as his eyes just continued to widen. Was this really happening? There was no way that this—Suzaku was good at his job. He repeated it so many times over in his head. If there was no other use for him in the world it was that he was so goddamned good at his job. This couldn't—this couldn't be happening to him. His entire life was a mess but this—and now…

"I—" Suzaku's voice didn't shake. He just couldn't think past what was happening. What excuse was there to give for his actions as a boy?

"Why did a child run away and why did his father not go after him?"

There was nothing that Suzaku could answer. There was nothing to say that would change the mind of Cornelia. How could he have explained a lifetime in a matter of minutes? There was too much to tell, too much that Cornelia would never understand! So in the end, Suzaku closed his eyes and admitted defeat, looking down to the carpet.

"I am sorry, ma'am. I won't make excuses for myself." His tone was level. His eyes stayed glued o the floor. If he hadn't been taught all his military career no tot slouch he would have been leaned over his knee. He felt nauseated—his throat dry and his mouth tasted disgusting. He swallowed hard to get he disdainful taste from his mouth, but it didn't help.

"Leave." Cornelia said, skipping al formalities to turn back to her own work without a second glance in Suzaku's direction.

Suzaku was surprised that it didn't come out as a hiss directed at him, but never the less he complied. His face coming out of Cornelia's office, and carefully shutting the door behind him must have been sight enough, because all the way back to his office not a soul spoke to him.

* * *

"Lelouch!" one of the barista girls called to him from the cash register.

Lelouch looked up from the cappuccino in progress to see what he was needed for now. Unlike other when Lelouch was tires all he really noticed was that he was easily irritable. He bit out sarcastic comments faster and snapped at anyone questioning his actions.

"There is someone here to see you." The girl said as she rolled her eyes, clearly unhappy to be ht her job.

With a purse of his lips Lelouch looked back down to the coffee cup in hand. Schneizel had warned him they knew where he worked, so it wasn't surprising they decided to make house calls so soon. Lelouch hated to think it but he had a hunch he was the family's new charity project. Or the worse scenario was that they just believed that Lelouch was being selfish and fickly with his aversion to accept what he should have, either way he was going to have to get used to people trailing his steps.

"Tell them I'll be there in just second." Lelouch said not looking up.

He took his time finishing up with the order. Keeping his hands occupied made it easier for Lelouch to think. They were tightening the noose around him. He breathed slow. If it was a war they wanted Lelouch would have to remember what it was like, have to remember that with these people the only way to win was to slip out of their fingers, to out think them and be amply prepared.

Lelouch looked up, handing the cup off for pick up. He'd have to try and figure out a way around this, why dancing he fine line of getting out from under his mothers notice as well.

When Lelouch came out to go around the counter he looked for pinstripe suits and smooth charming smiles. Looking around he turned to the girl, "Where…?"

She just pointed with and impatient gesture to the windows at the front of the side café. When he looked in the direction, immediately he let out a sigh of relief a slight smile even touching his lips. Almost a silhouette in the bright light of mid day coming in, Suzaku stood facing the window. He was in his uniform still, as always looked like he tried to calm the mass of curls down and of course failed.

As Lelouch approached he didn't speak. It wasn't until Lelouch was at Suzaku's side that the older boy looked at him.

"Hey," Suzaku breathed, a weak smile tugging at his lips.

Neither of them moved to touch. After sleeping in the same—couch with no qualms a few nights before, there wasn't the need to always reinstate that they liked each other any longer. Besides they were in public, not that it matter much. It was just a relaxation between them. Not that they had lulled into any type of pattern. They had just both realized that for once—it was real. They had both seen a darker side of the other—and they had still managed to somehow still want each other.

"I didn't know if you would be here." Suzaku chuckled. He looked away and down.

Lelouch cocked his head as he took a step closer, possibly standing too close for an ordinary friend. "Consider yourself lucky then." Lelouch gave a glance over his shoulder to the counter. "I'm off in half an hour." He paused not sure if he was crossing other boundaries before he went on, "wait for me?"

Suzaku looked up, this time giving a flash of that breathtaking smile, eyes crinkling into it for the first time as they spoke.

Blushing Lelouch gave his own smile back.

"I can't."

Lelouch's head snapped up. "What?" That smile—he'd just assumed…

Suzaku faced him, taking aside step closer to lean in as he spoke. "I have to go back to work. I'll be there late tonight."

The Army Base wasn't very far at all from the bookstore, only about a block for the soldiers to walk over. Lelouch turned to look out the window. Even just a block away and they still couldn't manage. Reluctant he did not though. He had his own problems to see to anyway. Least of all was the mounting homework, he'd ignored in the turmoil of his life and family.

"Alright," Lelouch glanced up. "I haven't got much homework done lately anyway."

Hesitant this time Suzaku looked up, seeming to try and make up for his refusal. "I was wondering—about this weekend."

Without a second thought this time, he smiled. "I'd love to."

"Oh?" Suzaku quirked another one of those sincerely charming smile. "I haven't even told you what we would be doing."

Lelouch gave a shrug. "Not much else could be worse than our first date."

Suzaku looked down with a chuckle. "I was thinking maybe we could go camping out in the wilderness, with only pocketknives and our bare hands."

"Veto," Lelouch said with a flat tone as he looked back to the counter. If he could he'd milk this moment for all he could. Suzaku may not be staying, but he was still a welcome distraction.

Giving a mock sigh Suzaku looked back towards the window. "Alright,"

When his manager made an appearance, Lelouch looked away to the boy next to him. He wanted to reach his hand out, to touch Suzaku for at least a moment, feel the power in his chest and curl up next to it as he had a few nights before.

The morning after surprisingly had gone quite smoothly—Suzaku had left before Lelouch had ever woken up so it was easy to just slip out of the house and back into his own home before anyone was the wiser. Sayoko knew. Then again she knew everything it seemed. Lelouch quirked a smile. She may have known everything, but she was discreet enough to not mention it.

"I have to go." Suzaku said.

Lelouch didn't look up. Instead as discreet as he could he slid a hand along Suzaku long suit coat sleeve. "If you must," It was when he reached Suzaku's hand that he stopped, instead stroking the soft fabric at the cuff.

It was hard for them both to try and look stealthy, but Suzaku flipped his hand holding his palm open for Lelouch. "I'll see you later then?"

"Most likely," Lelouch took the offer, not holding his hand but letting his fingers slide against his palm.

Suzaku's fingers contracted, actually holding his hand. That was probably better saved for late night sleep over's on Suzaku's couch anyway. It was easier there since usually there was some animosity involved along with just a spite of sarcasm. If Suzaku was too tired to care it helped as well, that way Lelouch usually got away with things like creeping into his bed in the middle of the night. Not that Suzaku had ever denied him. Lelouch had been the one to start kissing him against his desk the first night they'd known each other after all

"I'll take that as a promise then." Suzaku said stepping to the side moving his hand out of Lelouch's to sneak it at Lelouch's waist, letting it rest at the small of his back for just a moment for some form of embrace before as respectful as ever Suzaku stepped away, straightening the sleeves of his uniform.

When he watched Suzaku leave, staying there in front of the window to watch him through the glass, Lelouch lingered until he Suzaku was well out of sight.

* * *

He was lying. Suzaku knew he was lying but that didn't stop him from going through with his lie. He and Lelouch kind of floated through the part where they talk about what happened and then come to a mutual decision and then come clean about everything—yeah, pretty much they'd just spent the night together on Suzaku's coach. It wasn't fixed, but Lelouch was answering his calls. And screwing that up with one night spent with a grumpy Suzaku—not happening. He had to work late, remember?

Suzaku had to work late because his job was possibly killing him. With Bismarck things had worked like a well oiled machine, Suzaku got everything done on time and in perfect form and in return Bismarck hadn't asked anything other than that Suzaku stay the perfect soldier. How or why Suzaku was the perfect soldier had remained out of things entirely. There was never any questions prying into the injunction filed or the fact that Suzaku had indeed sealed all minority records. There was no need in his own mind. The crime he had intended to commit after all had never been fulfilled.

The base was dark and deserted, but Suzaku didn't move from his desk. If this was purgatory he'd do his time for a crime he hadn't meant to commit. Bismarck said he needed time and he was right to some extent, but Suzaku had mostly needed space. Now—he knew what space and time felt like and to be frank—he hated it. He hated not to have anything to focus on. He hated not being able to hit his target head on without fear that there might be some unseen consequence to come back and stab him in the back. He hated being a civilian. He hated to have to try and fill his time with things he knew didn't matter. He hated his superior officer rooting through all of his life and wanting answers for the hardest thing he'd ever gone through. He hated the nightmares and the memories. He hated the letter sitting in the dark corner of his countertop. He hated all of it—

His fist slammed down on the hard wood desk. Suzaku wasn't sure when he'd started to breath so hard and fast, but it was coming in pants he realized. He looked down to realize that his fist was clenched. The veins in his arm stood out in the strain of muscles, he was clenching so hard. He set the pen down, sitting back in his chair to try and relax his body. Everyone hated the paperwork in the military so that's what Suzaku had been doing. If he was lucky he wouldn't have any for the next couple of weeks for everything he'd gotten done in one late night.

There was even more steam pent up now though. He was wound tighter and strung out even worse than when he'd walked out of the Coronel's office. The entire goal of staying late had been to burn himself out, run all the way down in hopes that in the morning when he had to restart, his mind would run cleaner, less strained.

His hand raised to his face, flattening his palm over his forehead. Suzaku needed a different tactic. A second later he stood and gathered what few things he needed to get home. The internet is a wonderful tool, and within a few minutes he'd bought himself a membership to that same 24 hour gym he was starting to frequent and left immediately to try and work off the steam.

If this was what an audit was like then Suzaku now completely understood why every man he ever met who had gone through such an awful thing, hated the IRS with a passion that could have started wars.

* * *

"Milly knows you're a fag."

Turning with an arched eye brow, Lelouch caught C.c.'s eye over a slice of cheese drooling pizza. She shamelessly took another bite, cheese stringing between her mouth and the slice of surprisingly still warm pizza. She looked back at Lelouch, her jaw almost unhinging with the crass display of the first steps of predigesting her food.

"You look like a apple green cow." Lelouch threw out the comment as he looked back over the railing to the courtyard of the school behind him. "Table manners are a bother for you though, I'd assume."

"I'm not a fabulously queer homo on the verge of discovery." She managed to verbalize past another bite.

He let his head lull to the side for a moment, think on if he should take the girls rise or not. He gave a shrug, if she insisted, might as well hear whatever gossip she felt compelled to dish out. "And this information was obtained, how?"

"Girls locker room," She gave a sly, smug smile. "That spice up your interest in the matter?"

"Queer fag, remember?" Lelouch corrected her as he made his own grab for a slice of pizza.

Her eyes returned to the last piece of food left before without regret scooped it up for another cheese fest of chewing. "Shirley swears otherwise." She dangled the extra information out like a dead mouse to a starved alley cat.

Of course, this time as Lelouch locked eyes with her again, taking a bite of his own slice, he knew this routine with her. C.c. liked to feel needed, so to compensate she liked people to come to her, not the other way around. Usually Lelouch could ignore her blatant taunts for attention, but as luck would have it—Lelouch was actually mildly curious.

"I have no idea why she's so infatuated with you," C.c. gave Lelouch a long overview of a gaze before shrugging and going back to her food. "It's obvious you probably fuck like dead fish."

"Has this conversation really sunk that low?" Lelouch rolled his eyes before he took another bite.

"Apparently," C.c. went on. She finished the last of her slice, before with a sigh she took the rest of Lelouch's slice from him. "We don't want soldier boy thinking you're fat and a dead fish." She explained as she inhaled the last of the large pizza.

Giving up, Lelouch turned to lean back against the railing and ignored that his food had just been relieved from him an accounts of a fat comment. "Don't you think we're a little old for conversations based on petty insults?"

C.c. did appear to think on that comment for a moment before a smile spread. "Old enough to know better, too young to care," She concluded before that grin turned sly as her eyes narrowed to slits, "Now do you want to know why Milly thinks you're strip pole-dancer gay?"

Nope! …or at least that's what Lelouch wanted to say, but with a loud sigh he figured he might as well give in early or he'd be hearing it from dawn till dust every moment he was around C.c., which was becoming far too much. "Why not?"

"Your brother came snooping."

Lelouch's head jerked at the sound of his family and his own eyes narrowed just enough to scrutinize C.c. for any signs of deception. "C.c. that's not exactly hilarious—"

"The tall blond one,"

She wasn't kidding this time, and Lelouch stood a little straighter as he watched that sour expression turn grimmer. C.c. didn't like to get involved in other peoples affairs, but she, like Lelouch, shared a certain distain for her family, and as well understood the tricks people preferred to play in wealthy, powerful families like the two of them shared. The only difference was Lelouch's family, though private in most matters, had a state senator as patriarch.

Lelouch continued to watch his friend. She was his closest friend at the school but that didn't mean she always had Lelouch's best interest at heart. "When?"

"This morning," She met his gaze with feline gold gilded eyes. "Apparently he's a pretty good charmer too. The secretary in the office gave him practically everything, right down to your school lunch balance, according to Milly of course."

The courtyard below was still full of students enjoying their lunch break as Lelouch turned his eyes to them. He didn't see it though, mind already gone to thinking as to what Schneizel would have found out , how it could have benefited him, and how Lelouch could counter act. To be honest, Lelouch had thought that his brother would have waited longer, let the raw emotion of their encounter ease before starting to dig through Lelouch's life. The frightening thought that struck—Lelouch closed his mouth, pressing his lips together to form a thing line—Schneizel was possibly doing the same with Nunnally.

"Milly thinks that you must idolize him to the point that it turned to an unhealthy infatuation and that resulted in such a response from you that you no longer talk about your brother and prefer to stay as far from his as possible. In other words, you're sexually attracted to men because your brother is pornstar hot and that is why you freeze up around anything with a vagina that wants to use it with you." C.c. gave a shrug. "Personally, I think that's all a bit silly logic." There was a pause, a tilt of her head, and then she concluded, "You're obviously gay because you had a lack of supportive male figure in your life and now are desperately searching for the approval and affection of men."

If Schneizel was doing the same with Nunnally, which was very likely considering he knew Nunnally and Lelouch were basically on their own. It was at least a point in their favor that Nunnally and he both managed nearly flawless grades. His attendance would need a reason, something other than his minimum wage job to keep his family afloat, or the truth that Lelouch didn't give a flip.

"Shirley swears that Milly is bat-shit crazy though. I think it's those rose colored glasses, called she thinks you're the shit. I informed her you've never had a girlfriend." C.c. was certainly in a talkative mood. Of course they were all slap sided insults disguised as gossip, so no change in their relationship really on all fronts.

He rolled his eyes as he sat up straighter and pocketed his hands. "I've had a girlfriend before," Lelouch refuted with a grumble.

There was a moment before C.c. laughed. A full solid moment—before she laughed at Lelouch.

Stalking off the roof he felt was his only option left. He did have to admit—as far as getting in the last say, that last one was pretty weak. As he reached the door to the stairs and he could still hear C.c. snickering at that point. He rolled his eyes and flipped her off just as he swung the door open.

* * *

When Suzaku saw him, he froze for half a second. Standing at the office coffee maker, the cup stilled in mid air, Suzaku's mouth hung open as well. That moment would have been better spent scrambling back to his office, avoiding the situation all together. But it had been 32 hours ..36 hours… a very long time since Suzaku had gone to sleep. His brain wasn't functioning beyond all of the paper work he'd been blowing though over the past few days.

But Tohdoh clearly had seen him and Suzaku didn't have much of a choice but to acknowledge his presence. He set the coffee cup down on the counter and moved his arm up in a brief salute.

"You've moved up, quickly," As charismatic as ever Tohdoh got straight to the point.

"Thank you, Colonel." Suzaku said, "You've done very well yourself," especially considering Tohdoh's unpopularity.

The men accompanying the newly appointed colonel had to back track the moment they realized the grizzly war hero had stopped in front of Suzaku.

All of them except Tohdoh were looking down at one thing—Tohdoh's outstretched his hand to the Major before them, holding his hand out just in front of Suzaku. Suzaku was startled for a moment before looking down at the outstretched hand before he looked back up. Tohdoh had his usually grim expression on his face. This time that hard, stern expression was directed straight to Suzaku, It wasn't the first time that Suzaku had received that kind of look from his superior officer.

Suzaku knew that expression, he knew that a hard line expression like that usually made men crumble under Toudou, made men confess any misdeed or any casualty. And Suzaku knew that he'd defied that gaze once, doing it twice would never be in him. He took Toudou's hand giving it a solid, good shake, looking that man square in the eye.

"You're a good soldier." Toudou said, accepting the hand shake well.

"Thank you, sir," Suzaku said with a nod.

Toudou released his hand, folding them back dutifully behind his back. "I want to see you. Later this week, I'll give you some office time. There are some things I want to talk to you about."

All Suzaku felt like he could do was nod again. "I look forward to it, sir."

"Good." And again Toudou was off, striding back to his new office.

Suzaku wasn't sure what had caused the relocation of Toudou's unit, but he was pretty sure that talking to both him and Cornelia wouldn't be something Suzaku was looking forward to. It was never much of a secret that Cornelia and Toudou tended to fight like two cats over the same dead mouse. Toudou acted little too much like a sovereign citizen a little too much for the military's taste and Cornelia acted a little too much like a demi-god a little bit too much for the military's taste. Putting them both in charge of the same base was one of the worst ideas Suzaku had ever heard. He just hoped they didn't start a civil war over the whole matter.

Gilford stepped up next to Suzaku as the new authority continued down the hall. "The Colonel isn't very happy about this." The usually silent man said in a quiet tone next to Suzaku.

It took a moment for Suzaku to realize the Lieutenant Colonel was speaking to him. The inner circle of Cornelia's unit was quite small, with only a few choice soldiers that conversed with her over most matters. Besides issuing orders, Cornelia barely ever spoke to the soldiers in her own unit. Not that there was a need with Lieutenants like Gilford and Dalton snarling down their necks there was an embedded fear of what Cornelia's own rage could be capable of.

"I doubt that she is. Toudou isn't a very—traditional commander." Suzaku said once he realized that Lieutenant Colonel Gilford was waiting for a reply.

Gilford looked to him, maybe even smiling—if the very slight upturn of one side of his lips could be considered a smile. "Don't worry, the issue will be handled shortly, I'm sure."

Suzaku had no desire to ask how Gilford was sure of this. If Toudou was in for some rough times, Suzaku wanted to be the last person on the planet to know about it. He just wanted to go back to his office, keep working on his paper work and effectively be forgotten by every one for the next couple of months. Ideally, he'd be remembered just in time to be sent back to Bismarck's unit and there would be no other problems.

One thing was for sure though, Suzaku was very sure that Cornelia would find a way to handle this situation. "I've no doubt she will handle this." And if Suzaku was lucky it would all be over before he would have to opportunity to be dragged into the fight.

Startled out of his musing of how he wanted things to be, Suzaku first looked down at the hand on his shoulder, blinking a couple of times before looking up to see that the somewhat smiling Gilford was the source. Gilford gave Suzaku's shoulder a firm shake before releasing and turning to walk down the hall. Suzaku's coffee was probably chilling as he watched over his shoulder at the retreating form of a man he'd before only said about three lines to, and none of those words were anything substantial.

And he was pretty sure that the same man just gave him a Comrade Shoulder Squeeze. Those didn't happen often to Suzaku, and when they did it wasn't from people he barely knew.

He was fairly certain that it was becoming apparent that there might be a bit of a tug-a-war over whose side Suzaku would be taking in the upcoming World War III.

* * *

"You're not paying any attention." Lelouch said, a light smile on his face, sitting across from Suzaku. He was leaning back in his chair, his elbow rested on the black iron bar armrest, leaning his cheek against his closed hand.

Suzaku looked away from the game of tag a few children were playing just a few feet away. "What do you mean? I'm paying attention, I swear." No, he wasn't.

The park was crowded with every age and every variety of people. Though Lelouch and Suzaku weren't the only ones at the chess tables, they were indeed the youngest. Next to them, two old men fought over the legality of a move and in respect if the game was over or not. Behind Lelouch, a family was sitting down to a picnic. Off to their other side in the wide open expanse couples frolicking and children were playing every form of fun.

It was no surprise it was a perfectly nice day. The sun shone though the comfortably cloudy sky, making it just the right amount of warm. The flowers were out and the water on the lake looked warm enough as ducks dove every few minute before surfacing with shaking heads and ruffled feathers. It was a day that most people dreamed of having an early morning date on. It was a day that most other people would be enjoying the company on a textbook perfect day. It was a day Suzaku knew he should enjoy more than he really was enjoying.

Lelouch across from him was wearing a navy blue and white Reagan, mid-sleeve and looked perfectly comfortable. Grey jeans hugged his waist and accentuated those long legs all the way down to the Chuck Taylors on his feet.

And surprisingly—it wasn't gone, he was still very attracted to Lelouch. It was just that… Suzaku gave a long, wide yawn. "I'm sorry, is it my turn?"

A laugh broke out from his chess mate, Lelouch turning his head to cover his mouth with those long elegant fingers.

Blinking, Suzaku sat a little straighter, his hand already over a white piece on the board, "What?" He asked. A smile couldn't help but creep into his own features as he watched Lelouch almost silent chuckles into his hand.

Lelouch looked up at Suzaku, those bright violet eyes catching the sun in a nigh perfect gleam. "Suzaku, I won—about four moves ago."

"No—" Suzaku looked down. He had several pawns, a bishop, both castles, and a knight in his hand, but what there wasn't present was a King. Suzaku blinked several more times before setting the knight back down. He looked away, smiling. A single laugh did make its way out of his mouth, but he still couldn't bring himself to face his date.

A cool hand on his cheek directed Suzaku back to look into those brilliant violet irises. Lelouch had stood from his seat, one hand resting at the stone chess board and with the other he held Suzaku's chin in his direction. Those long black lashes batted with a slow blink as a thin-lipped smile spread on Lelouch's face.

Lelouch breathe ghosted over Suzaku's face and for the first time in days he was fully awake. He sat back or Lelouch pushed him back in his seat, either way his back pressed against the wood of the bench seat. Suzaku's hands gripped the black caste iron arm rests on either side as Lelouch inched ever closer. Licking his lips, all thoughts that they were in public left him as Lelouch leaned a bit closer tilting his head to the right.

Obeying the silent command, Suzaku tilted his own head to the right, making it very clear he was ready any time Lelouch wanted to close the small gap between them, or at least their lips. Feeling that warm breath across his lips, Suzaku's eyes fluttered closed. It was too tempting and Suzaku's hands went up, aiming to touch along that long pale neck, and he leaned forward up out of his chair to just-

Closing the gap between them was so—so easy. And it was the only thing that had come easy for so long. Suzaku surged upwards into the kiss. His hand had been playing at the back of Lelouch's neck, sliding his fingers through long strands of coal black hair. Only now Suzaku was clenching his fist, clawing on to a hand full of Lelouch's hair, holding him trapped in the kiss.

Lelouch's shock was felt immediately as he jerked in Suzaku's hold.

Suzaku broke the kiss slow, letting his hold lax as he opened his eyes. Two wide violet eyes met his gaze. Opening his mouth, Suzaku was already searching for an apology. Then those eyes narrowed and thin lipped grin spread on Lelouch's face.

"Check mate." Lelouch whispered against Suzaku's lips before he leaned forward for a second kiss.

This kiss was softer, Lelouch the one to dictate in what manner they were to take with the pressure applied to Suzaku's lips. Lelouch even went as far as to brush Suzaku's hands away from his face. Suzaku thought about refuting Lelouch's wishes, but instead relented into the gentle kiss, letting his hands drop to the armrests at his sides. It was soft, it was gently. But best of all it was so breathlessly easy. Handing over himself to Lelouch was probably a little too easy, but fulfilling.

A cat call from across the grass clearing startled them both out of their own little world. Lelouch's head snapped in that direction, a vengeful glare marring his features. On the other hand, Suzaku was grateful for the interruption. He raised his hand, now feeling he could, to slide his palm against Lelouch's face. The night of their first date they had gone quite a bit further than a closed lipped kiss across a chess, board, but this time it felt—it was like a piece of them both had been shared, a little more than what they had shared before.

Suzaku gave a smile, as Lelouch eyes flicked to look at him. In response, Suzaku shook his head. He preferred they keep this sort of affection in private. With the rest of his life, especially the secrets he thought sealed away along time ago, on parade, he preferred that this be kept just between them. Suzaku stood, and motioned for Lelouch to follow as he helped clear the board of black and white pieces before taking Lelouch's hand and trailing his way back through the park.

* * *

He probably should have kept Lelouch downtown, attempted a second go at a small cozy restaurant. It would have been ideal if Suzaku had changed from his tan shorts, long sleeve gray shirt, and white short-sleeve button up shirt into a nice suit and shined shoes.

Suzaku wasn't in a catering mood though. There was something about the closed off space of his small apartment that made it feel like just maybe he would get lucky enough that for a few hours the world outside wouldn't bother him. It was wishful thinking, but it was easier to think about wrapping his arms around Lelouch's middle and dragging him to the couch for another night, than to think about the consequences of what Suzaku would be back up against on Monday morning.

"You have no food!" Lelouch protested as he opened up Suzaku's pantry cupboard.

Ignoring the comment, Suzaku followed the other boy over to the pantry, approaching him from behind. Suzaku let his head rest on Lelouch's shoulder as his hands moved around Lelouch's waist, feeling the slender curve around to Lelouch's stomach, dipping down Suzaku could feel the jut of his hip bone on either side before locking his arms, folding them over Lelouch's stomach.

Lelouch gave an indignant sigh. Suzaku knew he was being obstinate, having first refused to get something while they were downtown and now that they were at his apartment, playing silent as Lelouch looked through his kitchen for anything to eat. It was to the point Suzaku could almost feel Lelouch bristling under him. So Suzaku managed to untangle one of his arms and throw it towards his pantry. He got lucky, fumbling for the first box to reach his fingers he handed it to Lelouch.

"Macaroni and cheese?" Lelouch said in a voice that implied he wasn't sure if Suzaku was serious or not.

"I like Mac and cheese." Suzaku grumbled into Lelouch's shirt.

Lelouch flipped the box over in his hand to start reading the instructions. "Alright," he said as he pried his fingers under the top cardboard flap to tear it open.

With warm food in hand it was easier to persuade Lelouch to the couch with him. It probably should have been a little embarrassing that it was—well it was his bed, now with a couple of pillows a blanket and his alarm clock propped up on the coffee table. Instead he cleared away some stray laundry with his foot and tugged Lelouch down to the cushions with him.

* * *

A walk of shame was never something that Lelouch had ever experienced. Sure, he'd stumbled his way home the first time he'd managed to spend the night at Suzaku's apartment, but that had been easy enough to pull a hood over his head and not look at any one on the bus home. But now, being a Sunday, Lelouch wouldn't be able to catch the bus for his eight am shift at work. Lelouch managed to rut around until he found his shoes, sitting on the edge of the couch, Suzaku still asleep slightly curled around him. He glanced back over his shoulder, the thought tugging that it could be possible Suzaku never managed to sleep with a shirt.

Lelouch didn't care though. It wasn't like anything had happened through the course of the night. It was actually really warm to curl up against Suzaku's bare skin.

A frown did tug at Lelouch's lips as he thought of the night. For being the younger out of the two of them sometimes he felt like the one that was the comforter. Not just because of the way Suzaku had dragged Lelouch to the couch at barely eight, but—Suzaku hadn't said anything. But Lelouch was becoming certain that Suzaku wasn't always in control and wasn't always aware of that overpowering strength. It shouldn't surprise Lelouch, after all that toned, tan, broad chest had been pressed against him now for two nights. It had been the middle of the night, Lelocuh had woken as he felt Suzkua grip on his shift form a comfortable cuddling to almost as if on the offensive. It was just the way Suzaku's grip had tightened around Lelouch to the point Lelouch had to call out, afraid Suzaku would succeed in breaking his wrists.

It had only been at the most the space of a couple minutes, Suzaku's grip on him tightening and tightening, his face grieved in his slumber, then Lelouch had called out, and startled and breathing hard, that broad chest heaving Suzaku had woke. A part of Lelouch wondered if calling out had made it worse as wide eyes opened and huge dilated pupils focused on Lelouch. Whatever it was, tribute to his character, the first thing out of Suzaku's mouth was a stumbling apology. He'd taken his hands off of Lelouch completely, opting that it was better not to touch him at all rather than accidentally hurt him again.

When Lelouch had touched him, petting those cinnamon curls, Lelouch noticed his body was drenched in sweat, his skin hot to the touch. Lelouch had wanted to throw off the blanket but Suzaku had refused. So instead Lelouch had pulled himself closer, inserting himself back in Suzaku's hold. When Suzaku had finally let his head rest on Lelouch's shoulder was around the time Lelouch's own eyes had started to widen. When Suzaku had drifted back into sleep, Lelouch had continued to run his fingers through those soft curls, wondering who he really had started to share a couch with for the night.

It was problems for another time. Once at work, Lelouch had no doubt that the whirlwind of the day before would start to run like a reel in his head. So he leaned down, helping to slip his second shoe on and tied it with quick hands.

As he finished, he felt Suzaku shift under the blanket next to him. Lelouch turned to him, smiling at the groggy way Suzaku was watching him under the bed head of hair. Lelouch wasn't sure how he was allowed to keep his hair so long in the army, but Lelouch did have to say he much preferred it this length over the traditional military buzz cut. Suzaku even managed to sit up, clearly surprised as he looked at the clock on the coffee table.

"I think that's the latest I've slept in a few years." Suzaku said with a chuckle. When he turned to see that unlike himself, Lelouch was dressed and ready for the day he went on, "Are you leaving?"

"I have to work." Lelouch explained. "Besides the buses don't run until ten today so I have to start out a bit early." He finished with his shoes to straighten. He even felt Suzaku's hand resting on his back.

Looking a little guilty, Suzaku waited a moment before he spoke. "I wish I could give you a ride."

Lelouch leaned back, shifting to fit against Suzaku's knee. "It's fine. I realize you're not exactly organized right now. You've barely managed a cell phone over the past few weeks, getting a car I'm sure will take you a while."

Suzaku did lean forward and place a soft kiss at the side of Lelouch's cheek. "Well, once I get something you won't have to walk."

The term walk of shame came to mind again as Lelouch closed his eyes, letting Suzaku coax as much of a cuddler as he could out of Lelouch. Lelouch even relented, leaning his head to the side and onto Suzaku's neck, pressing his forehead against Suzaku's neck. "I think," Lelouch let a sly smile stretch, "if we keep this up, I would much rather enjoy it if you would invest in a bedroom set."

Seeming to consider it, Suzaku pulled his arm around Lelouch's shoulders. "A mattress would certainly give a bit more room than the two of us squeezing onto this couch."

"I would settle for a bed, with sheets…and covers…a set of pillows would be a plus." Lelouch decided that would be his compromise.

He was certainly considering it, Lelouch could see in the way that Suzaku didn't say yes and he didn't say no, just looked down, seeming in thought. With the prospect that Lelouch might stay over more if he did actually go the extra mile and get Lelouch what he wanted, Suzaku most certainly was considering. Lelouch looked up, flattered and happy that Suzaku would consider it and gave a kiss to Suzaku's cheek. Even for the two of them it was turning out to be quite an affectionate morning.

"I have to be going," Lelouch said as his hand found it's way up to trace along Suzaku's jaw line. The rough stubble under Lelouch's fingers was a comfort all on its own. It was nice to know that Suzaku was human too.

"Would you like some breakfast?" Suzaku asked, because he was that kind of cordial person. He gave a chuckle. "I'm pretty sure there's some Mac and cheese left."

Lelouch almost gagged at the thought. "As excited as I am over more food from a box, I should have already left to be perfectly realistic." And if he was perfectly realistic, Suzaku looked as if he could even use a couple more hours of sleep.

Neither of them moved, and Suzaku even shifted forward, trying to subtly rest his other arm around Lelouch's shoulders. Lelouch snuggled into the warm embrace, nuzzling against that tan bare throat. There was nothing left to say between them. Lelouch should have gotten up and left and Suzaku should have at least shifted to let him go. This somehow just seemed a better option.

But Lelouch had to be at the café before eight o' clock and staying here any longer would be cutting it close. With an inhale of breath Lelouch opened his eyes and pushed himself up and away from Suzaku's ever warmer skin. There was a moment of resistance, Suzaku tightening his arms. Then Suzaku relented and Lelouch was allowed to stand. Suzaku looked a little unwilling but he went to stand as well.

Of course, Lelouch knew Suzaku didn't want to get out of bed so he gave the soldiers shoulders a shove back down. "I know where the front door is, you don't need to show me." Lelouch said with his own chuckle.

He bent and kissed Suzaku's head before turning away from the door. "I'll text you once I get to work, just to put you at ease."

Lelouch received some grumbled response but he was already halfway through the door, ready to start his walk of shame.

* * *

It was wishful thinking. The last day he had spent with Suzaku in the park, stealing kisses and swiping flirtatious comments, settling into Suzaku's warm embrace and eating food out of a box, all of it had been wishful thinking. And that was all made very shockingly clear as Lelouch stepped outside of Suzaku's apartment complex. The glass door had barely shut behind him when Lelouch realized it would have been better to let Suzaku act all gentlemen like and escort him to work.

How they had found such prime parking Lelouch hadn't a clue, but about ten feet from him sat the sleek black car, silver and chrome lining, black tinted windows, which could only belong to one man. The driver at the sight of Lelouch stepped out and rushed to open the back door, holding out his hand in a welcoming gesture. As the door was opened, the sunlight caught on the silver lion crest detailed in the far back corner of the window.

"If you would sir," the driver said with a polite smile, bowing slightly.

Setting his jaw, Lelouch took slow long strides to the car, ducking his head as he stepped into the car and slid into the seat. The driver shut the door behind Lelouch and there was an audible click as the door locked.

With a wry smile Lelouch turned to look at his elder brother. "Do you really think I'd try and escape after willingly stepping into this car?"

"With you Lelouch," Schneizel said next to him, his own pleasant smile on his face, "I've learned that one can never be too careful."

Lelouch looked away to the window, "What is it now that I have done? What unspoken rule have I violated by walking out on the street?" Raising his hand to his mouth, Lelouch knew if he had to look at Schneizel while he spoke that he'd lose it.

"Can I not give you a ride?" there was a rustle of Schneizel's overpriced suit.

Lelouch chanced a look in his brother's direction.

Schneizel moved his sleeve up to take a look at the silver watch on his wrist. "After all, you might have been late to work if you had to walk all the way there."

The muscles all long Lelouch's jaw flexed as Lelouch forced himself into silence. "Of course," he gritted out in a small voice. It was unsettling that Schneizel knew his work schedule, but Lelouch should have expected it—it was worse to think about the fact that Schneizel knew exactly where to pick him up.

The hum of the car's engine started up and the driver looked back for the nod from Schneizel to go ahead. The car blocked out any sounds from the world around as it pulled out of the parking space and into traffic. They weren't heading in the direction of Lelouch's work.

As Lelouch sat a little straighter to try and figure out where they were headed to instead, he felt the feather touch of his brother's hand on his knee.

"We're just taking a bit of a scenic route." Schneizel explained, still wearing that ever pleasant smile. "I wanted plenty of time to have a conversation with you, I believe we're a bit overdue with this conversation after all."

Taking in a breath Lelouch finally turned to see those icy blue eyes watching him.

"I find your choice of company is quite fascinating." Schneizel continued to dangle his true motives right out of Lelouch's reach.

With a swallow, Lelouch knew he had to think through every word before he spoke them. "I really don't think it's any of your business where or with whom I choose to spend my time with when it is my free time."

There was a pause from Schneizel before the smile dampened. "Nothing is free, Lelouch," Schneizel adjusted the cuffs of his suit. "Especially time, and especially in a family with such responsibility as one with our status." He spoke in a quiet tone but with no radio on and the sound barrier that the car's interior provided Lelouch could hear ever horrible word.

"Well, you must feel relieved that we don't share the same last name." Lelouch was sure that it was probably the truth at this point in the embarrassment that his small branch of the family had caused. If there was one thing that Senator Charles wasn't known for tolerance towards it was embarrassment and with Marianne acting less than ladylike, Lelouch was sure he'd had to endure more shame than he'd had to deal with in quite some time.

They were quiet again. Lelouch noticed that the car was not only taking quite a route to his café shop job at Barnes and Nobel, but the car was probably going at least five to ten under the speed limit. The driver was still sitting in the front, completely silent.

"Lelouch, as family we are trying to be a resource, opening up opportunities for you that will potentially give you the life of independency you seem so intent on, but—" Schneizel stalled just long enough to consider his next words very carefully. "There is the issue of Nunnally, unlike you she can't be expected to have to carry a mansion full of relics and a mother draining your home dry. She's not like you, and she never will be."

Lelouch glared at his brother, clamping his mouth shut yet again. Making it about compassion, making it into an issue of Nunnally's safety and comfort, making it seem as if they actually cared about what happened to them was sinking to a whole new realm.

"Leave my sister, leave my family out of this, Schneizel." Lelouch hissed in a low voice. "I have worked to sever all ties to all of you and I won't have you reconstituting those ties in pleas of kindness and loving family caring."

"And that is why we both know I'm here." Schneizel shot back, in his own clear, calm voice. "There is no way to just ignore your absence at our family table. We miss you, Lelouch, we want to open our arms to you"

Again about the compassion that Schneizel and Lelouch both knew were a lie. "Family members are tossed aside all the time. If it's the visits from Euphemia that you don't like, fine," Nunnally wouldn't like it all but—"I'll make sure she stays away. She's the only real tie left to the family and I'm sure she'd understand that with a mother like mine we can't keep being a drag on her reputation. Wouldn't want to hurt any of those opportunities provided by the family,"

Schneizel's calm cool eyes shifted to watch Lelouch, and he even moved his hand up, resting it along the back of the of the pristine dark leather seats. It startled Lelouch out of his own gloom of thought when he felt Suzaku's cool fingers ghosting at the side of his face. His muscles on instinct tightened and his body contracted to make himself seem smaller under his brother's overwhelming size and intimidating natural authority. Lelouch could feel as Schneizel's large hand shifted, barely making contact as it cupped the back of Lelouch's head, his fingers brushing though Lelouch's inky strands.

"Oh my dear naïve brother," Schneizel hummed, sliding far closer than was comfortable for Lelouch. "Do you really think this is over Euphie's little visits to your oh so quaint home?"

The hair on the back of Lelouch's neck sprang up as Schneizel loomed ever closer, the breath as he spoke freezing over Lelouch's already placid skin. It was for one a partly straight forward conversation but Lelouch still felt like he was wading through dark murky water, trying to figure out what was in Schneizel's own agenda and what was for his father's agenda. Lelouch was sharp as a tack and a good talker, but his father already had that in Schneizel, why would he need Lelouch, and what could he possibly need him for?

"I can't stop my mother's behavior," Lelouch knew his words would be stronger if he could manage to look away from the window to face his brother, but he was sure that if he did he might just crumble under the glacier gaze of his brother. "Believe me, I've tried. I have managed to keep her away from the family as much as possible which I will continue to do as long as you leave us alone."

A part of Lelouch wanted to believe that a brief moment of a blunt and straight forward offer would win out, somehow, some way that Lelouch could just see a small glimmer of hope. He closed his eyes, feeling those long fingers at the side of his head, moving now, petting through Lelouch's hair as if Schneizel was just humoring Lelouch's desperate pleas for independence. Lelouch took in another shaky breath as he felt Schneizel give an amused chuckle, the man's chilling breath on Lelouch's neck again.

God help them if this didn't work, god help them if they were ever forced to move back into that hell hole of backstabbing games and snide gossip every time one turned their head. God would be the only person that could help them if Lelouch was forced to watch those gothic iron gates of the Britannian main estate close behind him and his sister.

"My, my," Schneizel moved his other hand to Lelouch's face.

Instantly Lelouch on instinct jerked away from the touch inadvertently trapped as his head bumped into the large hand cupping the back of his head. Trapped Lelouch couldn't bare to direct his gaze properly, but he knew he was still to be pleasantly polite, still follow the rules or his sibling wouldn't hesitate to take what was wanted by force. So following those rules, Lelouch let his head rest in Schneizel's hand, forced himself to relax.

On cue, as if rewarding Lelouch like some sort of dog, Schneizel started to pet through Lelouch's hair again with his other hand, petting the hair away from Lelouch's face. "I never thought you would act so desperate to get away from us. I guess the people you think you know the most are always the ones that tend to surprise you."

Lelouch had to close his mouth again, anger flaring a the suggestion that he was desperate—even if he really was, the gall to mention it made Lelouch's jaw tighten again. His eyes cracked open, if only slits the directed straight to his brother stoic face, that creeping smile still present. As their eyes made contact that cold smile quirked just a bit, widening.

He hated their games! Lelouch hated to be forced to play their game so much. Leaving that house was the best thing he'd ever done for him and his sister. Lelouch could still remember the day they had been moved out of the Britannian estate house. His mother had been in tear s as they moved into the upper-class house that they still lived in. It was the first step to separation that Charles had made towards Marianne. She knew it immediately and while the movers had carried in their expensive things and their family photo's Marianne had cried. Nunnally had started to cry too, mostly from the fact her mother wouldn't stop crying. But Lelouch was elated. He was elated and relieved and it was the first day as still a little boy barely about to become a teen he'd rolled up his sleeves and set to work. He had been the one to direct the movers. He had been the one to help Sayoko set up their house, he had been the one to see that Nunnally got to bed that night and he had been the one to accept the change and know it was for the better. His mother had started on refrain shortly after.

Narrowing his eyes, Lelouch hated to think that this burden his mother was so incapable of dealing with had been shoved onto his shoulders. He wanted to jerk his face out of Schneizel's hold but instead he watched his elder brother. Reactions were what Schneizel loved from Lelouch after all.

"If you would please inform your driver, I'm sure that it's very nearly eight and as you have pointed out, I have work at eight." Lelouch swallowed after speaking, needing a drink of water, or may be just still nervous.

Not releasing his hold, Schneizel slid closer, his knee skimming against Lelouch's thigh. "I'm sure he's very aware of that." Schneizel snapped for the first time. "I believe, we were discussing more serious manners."

Lelouch looked away. "Right," He could debate the importance of his job but that would ultimately fall on deaf ears to a man trying to ruin his life.

Over the minor distraction Schneizel started to glide his fingers across Lelouch's cheekbone. "Your appearance is really quite unique for our family." Schneizel never was fond of whispering its seemed, but he always had a way of dropping his voice, discretely relaying information without the demeaning action of making a show of it. "Even Nunnally bares the unmistakable resemblance to our father. But not you."

It was a reaction, but Lelouch couldn't hold himself back as Schneizel approached closer, shifting up on one knee on the seat. Lelouch slid back into the cushions, sinking down on the leather. Unfortunately it was exactly as Schneizel wanted probably since now the whole weight of Lelouch's head was being supported by Schneizel's broad hand, holding Lelouch's head up, still to the side so with his free hand Schneizel could manage to move his fingers from Lelouch's prominent cheek bone to slide his fingers through his hair.

Holding some of the coal black strands up, laced between his finger tips as if it was feather light and just as fragile, Schneizel continued. "Color just like your mothers, soft like Nunnally's and so vibrant against your skin." Schneizel let the strands drop through his fingers as he moved his hand again moving them in a feather light touch across Lelouch's skin again.

"Sir," The driver in the front said in a low tone as he pulled the car into park in front of the Barnes and Noble.

He was promptly ignored as Schneizel adjusted closer, placing his hand on the door this time. With his hand supporting Lelouch's head he slowly turned Lelouch to look at him.

As Lelouch's eyes widened, making clean eye contact with those icy blue eyes he felt like a child again, having no choice but to play the game to try and survive.

When his brother moved in closer was when Lelouch's prying fingers finally found the handle on the door. When the shiver ran through Lelouch's spine as Schneizel skimmed his nose across the skin at Lelouch's throat was when Lelouch closed his eyes and pulled on the door handle.

The repercussions of his actions would be dealt with later, but Lelouch scrambled out to the car as fast as he could manage, scrambling out from under his brothers hold. Much to Lelouch's astonishment, Schneizel let him go as well, not even putting up resistance as Lelouch stole out from under him, stumbling out onto the street, knees a little shaky and eyes still just as wide. In contrast, Schneizel sat back, keeping himself in perfect composure. Schneizel easily claimed his victory as Lelouch stood like a deer caught in the headlights in the middle of the sidewalk.

As a token of added cruelty, Schneizel smiled at his brother as he spoke. "It is very interesting who you spend your time with. I'll be sure to let the Major know how hard you tried on his behalf."." Schneizel closed the door to the car, rolling down the window just enough that Lelouch could see those brilliant glacier brimmed eyes. "Also, our dear Euphie will be coming over tonight, I'd best advise that you be there when she arrives."

And just as Lelouch lunged forward, to desperate ot think, the car window rolled up. Just as Lelouch's fists hit the glass the driver started the engine. It pulled out into traffic again before Lelouch could get in another hit.

In his rage, he stood there in an empty parking place, breath heaving in and out of his chest, a snarl marred on his face. He hated this game, but he hated when he lost the game even more.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

Perfect Strangers

6/24/2012 8:00 PM

* * *

Two born and raised soldiers stood a good distance away from each other, on either side of them was rows of metal bunk beds. It was the barracks that just a couple of years before Suzaku had entered as the youngest recruit there. It was the same place that Toudou had received his first rank of responsibility, receiving Suzaku and his brothers–in-arms as his first group of men to lead through the grim and muck of a war zone. It had been the place where both of their lives had matured into something real, something they could be proud of. It was the place that had started each of their journeys.

"You're going with Bismarck's offer?" Toudou looked grim as he watched down at his hands. A tattered and worn metal was in his hands. He wasn't fiddling with it or even fidgeting mindlessly, His attention was on the medal, his thumb running across the thin gold-plated surface. "After all those letters, you're finally giving in to his offer."

Across the barracks, standing at full attention Suzaku gave a sigh. He'd known that Toudou wouldn't approve of his new course of action. His hands behind his back, legs an equal distance apart, Suzaku was dressed in full military honors. His boots were shined and all of those shiny, horribly little pins were on his chest.

"Bismarck's unit is very—" Suzaku wasn't sure what word to use, "active."

Catching Tohdoh's attention, the man finally looked up from the little metal. He studied his would-be pupil for a moment before straightening, Toudou asked, "Do you really miss it that much?"

Suzaku wasn't startled by the question, but he was ashamed, ashamed of the answer he knew that if he was being honest, the answer he would give Toudou. Saying it would seem more shameful though, so Suzaku looked down at his boots instead.

"I know you've had a hard time coming back." Toudou voiced as he started his way forward. "Civilian life after immersing yourself that much in operations like ours becomes—mundane. But it's life, Suzaku. There won't always be a war that needs fighting." Toudou stopped a few extra feet away from Suzaku.

Suzaku looked up, noticing the wide rift between them. It was only growing from the moment they had split ways. "Bismarck's unit—"

"Are thieves and pillagers. Bismarck wasn't always a soldier, Captain Kururugi." Toudou always had a way of stopping Suzaku dead in his tracks. "I've gone through his files, for men long before you boy, and Bismarck's unit might as well be a death mill for how many young soldiers have had to go in to fix their mistakes."

It had always been hard to face that stern, expectant face, especially now that Suzaku knew he was throwing everything that he'd done under his commander in his face to run back to a battle field Toudou had worked so hard to get Suzaku out of.

"Bismarck worked for years as a contract mercenary before magically being placed in command of his own, in many aspects, rouge unit. This isn't a man who thinks about the consequences of his foolish actions. He never thinks about what he's doing, he just does it regardless of right or wrong."

And that was Suzaku's reason. Right there, Suzaku knew Toudou was throwing this in his face because it was why Suzaku was doing it. Sometimes it was just easier to just follow orders than to think about if what he was doing was right or wrong.

"Principles matter, Captain," What Toudou meant was, I taught you better, I taught you what matters and it's not the money.

It had made Toudou very unpopular over the years, that principle thinking had made him an enemy in a system that operated on the grace of corrupt senators and twisted agendas. And soldiers had flocked to him, Toudou had been barred from promotions for as long as could be had, but now that he was a Major—there was no stopping a freight train already on the tracks.

"I have a plane to catch, sir." Suzaku resigned as he looked up from his boots.

"You know," Toudou showed the small medal in his hands. "this is the first medal I ever received." Toudou looked long and hard down at the little piece of metal. "I just remember the three men that died on the way to getting this metal."

Uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation Suzaku looked away with an awkward lump in his throat. "Sir," he couldn't finish. It was harder than he'd ever thought to face his commanding officer. For some odd reason, Suzaku thought he'd be able to just give a salute and leave without much more than a couple of sentences of adieu.

Toudou gave a solid, single nod. "Alright." He looked straight at Suzaku though. "Just remember that I will have a place for you. When you realize who you're working for, what kind of people you're working for, you can return to this battalion."

"Thank you, sir," Suzaku said as he turned away. He really did have a plane to catch. He would be meeting Bismarck's small, specialized unit within the next twelve hours. His first mission was to be completed within the next twenty four. And unlike his place with Toudou, Suzaku was responsible for no other lives but his own. Unlike under Toudou, Suzaku didn't have to think about what he was doing and what was driving him, it was just do and be done.

"Kururugi!" Toudou called as Suzaku made it to the doors, one hand on handle.

Suzaku looked back, looking for possibly the last time to the man who had been his first commanding officer.

"You're a good soldier." Toudou called. "You're an excellent soldier, but—just remember that you're human."

Whatever Toudou meant, Suzaku let it drift over his head as he gave a nod for both acknowledgement and goodbye. Then he opened the door and walked out into the night at a brisk pace, leaving Toudou behind.

* * *

He was spoiled. Having Lelouch as a partner meant whenever Suzaku wanted coffee he usually got really good coffee. If he ordered it from the small shop just around the corner, Lelouch usually just surprised Suzaku with something Lelouch thought he would like. When they were at Suzaku's apartment—well, Lelouch tended to be in control of the kitchen all together, but coffee was something that he kept in good control. Lelouch if nothing else always handed Suzaku a steaming cup of awesomeness whenever he was over, spending the night or not. And he was spoiling Suzaku to the point of no return.

Thinking about how he would have liked to be sitting on his couch, his arms comfortably wrapped around Lelouch and in hand a warm cup of coffee. Suzaku got a little carried away and tried to image what Lelouch would have put in his coffee. Chai maybe—or wait now, Lelouch had found Suzaku's weakness for Irish cream. That's probably what he would give him if they were at his apartment. Lelouch knew that Irish cream would make Suzaku feel warm and cozy and they'd probably start to curl into each other and just drift into an easy conversation before realizing what time it was they might pull the blankets over them, still talking about nothing and everything.

Sighing there was absolutely none of that reflecting back at him in the dark liquid in his cup. But still trying to be an optimist Suzaku raised the cup to his lips and took a sip. He swallowed before turning to the sink and dumping the cold and awful coffee down the sink. It was horrendous compared to anything he usually drank.

When he turned back to the instant coffee maker he tossed in another packet and flipped the switch. There was a practical reason for this. He needed the coffee—he needed to stay awake. There was no chance for Lelouch to come over for the next week or so and sleeping alone was getting—shitty coffee in the middle of the night on base was a better option. Nights for which he had to go home usually reverted to going to the gym. That was getting a little awkward. There was always the same girl at the front desk to swipe his membership card and Suzaku was pretty sure she was getting suspicious. The only option left was to start pencil pushing and stay as ahead on work as was humanly possible.

The coffee machine beeped loud at him and Suzaku flipped it off, pouring another cup. It was scolding hot, but with a shrug Suzaku lifted the cup to take a sip.

"God damn, why did you dump that out?"

Suzaku turned to the door just in time to see a younger soldier he'd seen come in along with some others from Toudou's unit.

"Uh," Suzaku stumbled.

She was looking at him like he'd just somehow affronted her entire family. That baleful ocean blue gaze didn't falter as she took a step forward. In her private's uniform she'd grunged down for after hours. Her jacket was gone, shirt was unbuttoned and the tie was nowhere to be found. Suzaku himself had removed his uniform jacket, but really there was a point where Suzaku even knew not to go, after hours or not. Besides that was the fact she was dressed like a man. A skirt wasn't required anymore for women—but still. In Suzaku's opinion it looked nicer.

He snapped out of his book cover assessment to answer. "It was cold. So I didn't think anyone would mind." He didn't think anyone was here besides him for starters but that was clearly proven wrong. "It didn't taste all that great either so I figured it would be fine." He went on as he replaced the new pot he'd just made back in the coffee machine.

If he'd received a glare from the woman before this than it was probably just a prologue to the glare he was getting now. She took out another mug from a cabinet rolling her eyes as she looked away from him to the cabinet.

In hopes of somehow mending the situation of getting off on such an apparently horrendous start, Suzaku tried again. "I'm sorry." He said a bit uneasy.

"For what?" She growled as she pushed past him to get to the coffee machine. She took out the newly brewed pot and poured some in her mug.

Suzaku was a little lost but he kept pushing forward. "…I'm not sure how but it seems I've somehow offended you."

She raised an eyebrow at him as she turned to look at him. "Well aren't you rather pathetic." She took a nonchalant sip from her mug.

Suzaku was—well he was a bit taken back to be perfectly honest. He'd been called pathetic in his life before—but not since he was ten. Indigent to the rude approach, Suzaku leaned back against the counter, setting his jaw but knowing that politeness was a better approach he went on ahead with the apology. "I'm sorry that I tried to make up for my short comings."

"Right, do you grovel like that to everyone?" the private sneered at him over her coffee with a stoic expression on her face.

Suzaku took in a breath. Dealing with bullies never got him in anything but trouble. It was better to turn the other cheek and maintain some semblance of civility than to start an argument over nothing. "I'll make sure to check before I make a new pot of coffee in the future." He said as he turned to the door to start back to his office.

"That wasn't an answer to my question!" the private called after him.

He ignored her and just took another sip of his coffee as he continued to his office. Suzaku had enough to wrestle with in his life—dealing with a belligerent co-worker wasn't something he felt needed to be added to his very long list of problems.

* * *

The parlor was so quiet Lelouch could hear the ticking of the grandfather clock next to the fireplace. He just sat there looking down at his hands. If he really paid attention he could hear the sound of himself grinding his teeth. His hands were fisted in his lap, his hair combed and parted as best he could. He was dressed in the nice suit he knew he would have worn usually only at his father's estate. The suit coat hung heavy and lank off his shoulders. It'd been so long since he'd played the role of dutiful son, and never anywhere but in the presence of his father.

And yet—this was his home.

It felt nothing like his home. Sitting in his parlor, his maid serving tea on the coffee table, surrounded by his own things he just felt—encroached upon. His family was part of the elites, he'd always tried to act like the elite stock he knew he was from—but now was just so—

"Lelouch," Euphemia said. She sat across form him. Her eyes wide she watched him from across the coffee table. She sat straight up, even leaning a bit forward towards Lelouch. She was alert and watchful, her mouth hung open as if she wanted to say something more but just couldn't find the right thing to say. She was dressed accordingly as well, in a soft pastel yellow dress. The fabric was ruffled a bit, uncustomary to her usually whimsical appearance. Compared to the somber form of Lelouch, she was an entirely different dimension of anxiety.

"Thank you, Sayoko." Lelouch spoke for the first time in a long while. He didn't look up, didn't move to take the cup of tea left on the table before him.

There was silence again.

This time Euphemia shifted forward, the sound of her dress wrinkling was just before she spoke. "Please Lelouch," she said, her voice with just a slight tremble this time.

He wasn't as versed in the game as he should have been. Because of that Lelouch had lost to his family now twice and was now being reined back in. His family was tightening the noose around his neck and it was all because—he'd lost the game. He used to dominate to the point he'd weaseled his way into a house far away from his family, he'd managed to isolate himself and his sister as best he could. And he'd learned to thrive in the limbo between the average world around him and the bubble of his family. And somewhere along the way he'd lost his feel for what communication really was like in his family.

Lelouch let his eyes flick up towards his sister. He opened his mouth so ready to just relent and lull back into that sinkhole that let him just imagine that his father wasn't looming over him, his brother was out to strangle him, his life wasn't careening out of control—but there was something's that couldn't be forgiven. And forgoing his trust was one of those things.

Lelouch was wide awake now. Now that he'd been threatened with only the tip of the iceberg of what Schneizel could do, Lelouch had come shatteringly awake. And he planned to keep it that way. And so be it if he had to burn every bridge on the way. This was war, and there was casualty in war. There always would be and he was determined to keep his sister out of that list.

"We're happy to have you here, Euphemia." He spoke in a low level tone as he watched her through the shad of his long fringe. "You're welcome to stay as long as you like,"

"Lelouch," this was the first real crack in her voice. "Please, Lelouch, don't do this." She begged, her hands fidgeted nervously in her lap. The anxiety was starting to become even clearer. It was hard to see, but after years of knowing her Lelouch could see the red splotches on her face starting to flare.

He took a deep breath before standing. "Please give my regards to our father when you see him next." Lelouch spoke as he turned away.

"No, don't do this Lelouch." He could hear the tremble in her voice as she still sat there in his parlor. "Please don't do this." He could hear the first gasp as she started to break, gasping for breath as she scrambled for a handkerchief.

He looked away to the floor. "I have to leave for work." He said in solid tone. His eyes were so low his eye lashes almost obscured his violet irises from view. It was harder than he imagined to do this to her.

"Please, don't. You're the only one I have left. Don't be like this." If the cracking in her tone, handkerchief held up to her face to keep from trying to show her weakness

It was when he heard the first sob break that Lelouch looked behind himself. He couldn't keep this limbo up and expect to win against any fight—but he could—he stepped closer to his sister, coming up to the side of the couch. Taking the handkerchief he raised it to her face and wiped away the streaming tears. "Crying is never very becoming.' He said in a soft tone.

When he was done he sat at the edge of the couch. He didn't smile, didn't even look her straight in the eye he just sat there for a moment.

"You don't have to be like that." Euphemia said in a quiet tone. "I know you, and you're not like them. That's why you left, I know, you aren't like that." She was still crying though, seemingly against her own willingness to stop.

With the handkerchief, Lelouch whipped away the new wave of streaming tears. He didn't say anything. And it stayed like that for a few minutes, time passing without much count, before Lelouch looked up.

"I don't think that you're like that either." Lelouch said. He looked back down. This wasn't going to make anything easier in the long run.

"I don't think any of us are like this!" Euphemia shot back with a sniffle again. "We're not like this."

Lelouch looked at her with emotionless eyes. She was betraying him and she didn't even know it. She was sinking her own ship and she was too blind to see it. He leaned forward, kissing her on the forehead before leaning back to stand again. "I have to go now." He said as he looked away from her.

She grabbed at his hand. Both of her pale delicate hands striking out to grip Lelouch's palm in a vice like grip.

He did stop. But it was a lot harder if he looked back so instead he turned just enough to place his hand over his dear sisters and squeezed, just enough to let her know he'd be there if she ever decided to finally take those hard and long steps he was about to take himself. It was the steps he so dearly wished she would take. Her grip on him weakened and she leaned forward again as if she was almost willing to take that leap of faith forward.

But she didn't—and Lelouch couldn't wait for her.

He spared one last glance back at her before continuing forward. Those delicate fingers tightened for just half a second before they released and as Lelouch took another step forward, her hand slipped away. Lelouch didn't have to look to know that her hand hung there for a just moment, reaching for him until—her hand dropped limp into her lap.

A few minutes later Lelouch reentered the entry way of the house, coming down the stairs with his wallet and pulling on his jacket. He was dressed for work and had his house keys in hand, shoving them in his pocket as he passed the parlor doorway, trying not to look up as he went to the door.

There was a part of Lelouch that just wanted to—to go back to the parlor, put his 3-piece suit back on and sit back next to his sister and just—he looked back. Just a glance was enough to propel him forward this time as he flung the front door open and charged down the walkway. He already knew he shouldn't have taken that last look, he shouldn't have turned at all. It would never leave him now—the image of his dear older sister, sitting there in a rumpled and solemn mess of sorts, face in her hands.

* * *

"What is that?" Lelouch spoke up as Suzaku came back through his office door.

Lelouch leaned back against Suzaku's desk, impatiently waiting as Suzaku shuffled through the motions to be able to leave work. Not that he'd been waiting long, he just clearly didn't like waiting in Suzaku's office alone, but Lelouch had been the one to duck into the office the second he'd arrived.

Suzaku looked in the direction of Lelouch's outstretched gesture to the gun mounted on the wall. It was a relic of the previous owner of the office and for some reason had been left behind when Suzaku moved in.

"That?" Suzaku said in disbelief that Lelouch was even mildly interested. "That's a Les Baer TR Special .223 Caliber."

It was a second of Lelouch blinking at him several times before Suzaku gave a smile and took the long gun down to give an answer in American English. "This is a very high powered gun, that is very expensive and ultimately in this office," Suzaku flipped the safety switch and pulled the clip out, "completely useless." He showed the empty clip to Lelouch. "Besides it's basically a fancy sniper rifle and is unfortunately quite heavy so to be able to get an accurate shot you'd need a gun rest and I'd at least prefer a scope."

Lelouch stepped forward to look at the long gun, "So it's an office show piece?" A smile quirked as he went on, "I'm guessing you didn't put this up?"

"Course not," replacing the useless weapon back on the wall between two empty bookcases, Suzaku still took care with the gun, know that even though it wasn't his preferred weapon it still required his respect.. "It's a hand me down of the old occupant of this office." He turned back to Lelouch. "I can't decide if it held some significant meaning or if the former owner was a simple pencil pusher and wanted something in here to soldier him up a little."

Lelouch leaned back against the desk. "My guess is it's compensation for lack of masculinity in a masculine dominated environment." Lelouch placed his hands on the desk and hopped up to sit on the edge. "My question is what would you put there if that gun wasn't taking up the space?"

His first answer would have been, well nothing. The less he had to move out when he was shipped back out to Bismarck's unit the better. But humoring the theory Suzaku turned with a smile. "A 2001 Cheytac .408 caliber."

"A bigger gun?" Lelouch guessed.

Displaying mock disgust at Lelouch's simplification, Suzaku gave a snort. "A much bigger gun, I'll have you know! It's a useful gun."

"Oh right," Lelouch said. He gave a sly smile though, letting his head cock to the side.

Suzaku took a step closer to continue his defense. "If I had to fill the space it would be a gun I could at least use, I'd make sure to hide a gun tripod in the book case and with the Cheytac there's no way any threat could get through the doors of this office."

Hooking his leg around Suzaku's calf Lelouch tugged him forward to raise his hands to Suzaku's chest. "I'm mildly shocked, but I think that this might actually be working."

A raise in his eyes brow brought Suzaku back to look down at Lelouch. "I've managed to convince you I'm the real deal, masculine soldier in a masculine dominated environment?"

"Without a doubt," Lelouch purred, "Plus, to be honest, it's kind of a turn on when you talk about guns."

At the mention of that Suzaku took a step forward. "Oh really? I'll have to keep that in mind as a potential seduction method in my arsenal."

"If it's from you I think I'd be okay with being assaulted with such a seduction method." Lelouch gave a sneaky smile. "I'll be sure to press charges later of course; I mean I could use your money as well."

"I'm sure you will." Suzaku said pushing off from the desk. "Come on, I'm done, so we can finally leave."

Lelouch got off the desk, slinging his bag back over his head, sliding the messenger bag to its usual place at his side. When he looked up he watched Suzaku pull on his uniform coat before walking around the desk again, sliding in his chair and picking up the small buckle briefcase.

In all honestly, Lelouch hadn't wanted to come, too afraid he may run into certain family members, but at seven in the evening he doubted that Cornelia would be at work still and it had been the most convenient to meet Suzakuat his office before they went to dinner. And with little to no one left at the base Suzaku was more at ease with Lelouch, even hooking a hand to a weak hold of Lelouch's arm as he led them out of the office.

They made it to the coffee machine before they were forced to turn at the call, "Kururugi!"

Suzaku was the one to turn first, dropping his hold on Lelouch's arm, as a female soldier jogged up to them. Oceanic eyes were narrow as she rounded on Suzaku.

"Where is that air strike report? Toudou asked you for it yesterday."

Lelouch had never looked up or ever even taken an interest in rankings of military but he had a hunch from the vagrant way that the women spoke and the half step Suzaku had slid into, standing a littler straighter his head cocked just a tad, and eye brow so close to ticking into an arch, this woman was overstepping her rank.

"Private Kozuki," Suzaku started, but smiled pleasant and cordial, "I gave that report to Coronel Toudou two hours ago."

"Well it didn't go through me." the woman persisted.

He couldn't hear it, but Lelouch could feel as Suzaku gave a sigh, wanting to just go out probably. "I'll get you a copy really fast." Suzaku said as he started back to his office.

Lelouch took a step to follow, but Suzaku held up his hand to stop him before continuing to his office. As he opened the door to the dark office, Lelouch caught a glimpse of Suzaku's hand raised to his face, pinching the bridge of his nose. Hiding his own indignation wasn't easy as Lelouch shuffled on his feet.

"So are you a relative or is Kururugi your baby sitter?" the woman abruptly asked.

Turning his head to the blunt woman, Lelouch knew his eyes were narrowing as he spoke. "We're dating."

"Right, so Kururugi like's the preppy school boys, does he?" she continued to jab at the prospect of an insult.

Feathers ruffled at the fact she was kind of right, Lelouch straightened just a tad. "And you get off on antagonizing those around you in a justification of your own foul outlook on life. Everyone has something."

"Touché," the woman huffed. "But that wasn't a denial."

Lelouch gave a noncommittal shrug. "I could flail aimlessly around explaining I'm a second year in college with a 4.0 grade average, majoring in Biological Engineering, as well as student body V.P. and in all actuality that simply proves that Major Kururugi just prefers someone with the proper intellect to know he'd dating me for more than the fact I look younger than I am, but really, I think throwing your own brand of ammunition back in your face is more effective in this instance."

"Wow, what a mouth full, but you sure it's not that pretty face and perk ass he's after?" the woman cross her arms as the first sign of a smile quirked, her hip snapping to the side with the action.

"Well, I do his taxes for him," Lelouch said as his violet eyes flicked up, and gave a sly smile.

He was rewarded with a full smile from the woman. "He's a self-righteous prick-"

"And he can't manage to do his own laundry in a timely manner, can't cook food that doesn't have a box and constantly has the bad habit of trying to tell me what to do and what to think," Lelouch fixed that woman in his gaze, "I fully realize that Suzaku has a few down sides."

She was smiling now, closed lipped and a bit smug, but she was smiling. She opened her mouth to say something but the Suzaku's office door opened and Suzaku rushed out just as the woman closed her mouth again.

"Here you are, Private Kozuki," Suzaku politely handed off the report in question before stepping back towards Lelouch.

"Right," the woman said as she turned, "See you around, school boy." She hollered over her shoulder as she retreated down the hall.

As she disappeared around the corner Suzaku turned to look at Lelouch, an eye brow raised as he spoke.

This time it was Lelouch who took up Suzaku's arm and led him towards the door, "Come on, It's been at least an hour since we made reservations and I'm starving."

* * *

And he was back. Sitting in that chair across from the fiercest woman Suzaku was pretty sure he had even come across. Even Kouzaki wasn't like Cornelia. Suzaku doubted there was another woman on the entire planet that compared to Coronel Britannia.

His eyes drifted up to the bookshelf housing the long career of achievement. That same photo of Cornelia in the arctic, brazen boot marking her victory, pressed on the skull of that dead polar bear. That wasn't what was bearing down on Suzaku though from that photo. It was those eyes. Those dead, lifeless dark eyes of the polar bear drew Suzaku's gaze and almost made him shrink back all at the same time. There was no way not to look down at that bear, blood drooling out of its slack jaw. Suzaku frowned at the way Cornelia combat boot seemed to almost grind the bears head deeper into the snow.

In all reality, Suzaku was shocked he was back in this office at all. The last meeting like this hadn't ended exactly in flowers and well wishes. And Suzaku hadn't exactly come crawling back. It was more like scrambling out of the way. Every time he's seen the Coronel or one of her loyalist cronies Suzaku had quickly been finding a reason to slink back into his office as quietly as possible.

There wasn't much escaping though when he had been ordered to report.

So he sat there waiting, and knowing that he wasn't going to be the first one to speak. What was the point. Just about everything in his life had been talked about between the two of them. It was actually quite possible that Cornelia knew more about Suzaku than anyone else in the entire town.

In fact, that was very believable since the one person that did know at least a bit more about him, in all reality knew pretty much nothing about him. That was the great part all about Lelouch, they talked about nothing important with each other and then they made out and then they spent the night together. Their relationship was damn near perfect.

Suzaku glanced up, just to make sure he wasn't spacing out on something he shouldn't. Of course, Cornelia hadn't even looked up. She still just kept plugging away at the paperwork before her.

And Suzaku was back to thinking about Lelouch. This whole thing of having dinner once –okay maybe more like twice a week was turning out awesome! It was so great to just be able to call Lelouch up and go out to eat with him at whatever random restaurant they picked for the night and he could just forget about everything but getting Lelouch back to the apartment.

"Kururugi,"

Suzaku snapped to attention. Eyes wide he looked up and straightened his posture enough to be passable. He'd almost forgotten that he was sitting in the Coronel's office.

"Ma'am." Suzaku said in return.

She wasn't even looking up yet, now appearing to be writing something down on a small piece of note paper.

"I have spoken to Bismarck." She said it so casual, that stern look still on her face.

This perked Suzaku up. It was life or death now. He sat very impatiently now, waiting for Cornelia to go on.

"He says you were an impeccable soldier." Cornelia said with a poised peck of her pen onto the note she was writing.

"Thank you, ma'am." Suzaku said with a brisk nod.

"I said 'were' not 'is.'" Cornelia said as she looked up. The hard line of those finely manicured eyebrows lowered just a bit as now those cold eyes focused on Suzaku.

This time Suzaku wasn't sure what exactly to say.

"It's obvious that there is something holding you back." She said it as if she was annoyed by it all. "And whatever that 'something' is, it can no longer be tolerated if you wish to still regain the rank and reputation you were once worthy to have."

"Coronel, "Suzaku started. "Look, that incident was jus—" just what? and accident? A mishap? A moment of memory lapse? What really was that moment to Suzaku? "A slip up." In the most rudimentary way possible. It had been a slip up of him as a soldier, letting his life interfere. A slip up as him as just a person, letting just one incident rule him. "It won't ever happen again." Because if he could just go back to his old life, back to that control he'd somehow accomplished before—it would all just be fine.

"You're absolutely right." Cornelia's brow furrowed just the tiniest bit.

Suzaku was starting to feel like the onslaught was far from being over.

"Now there is no way, I'm letting you keep mooching around from this base." Cornelia snapped at him. Her voice was both raising and deepening at the same time.

…oh God, he was really that transparent, wasn't he?

"I expect nothing but excellence out of my men and I will not have you here screwing up all the time. Now you used to be passable as a soldier." This time she had an edge to her voice.

Suzaku wasn't sure when this had turned personal but clearly something—somewhere along the lines, this had turned very personal it seemed. And to be frank, Suzaku hadn't a thing to fire back, even if he could have fired something back.

"Kururugi, this farce of a soldier's performance has been dragged out long enough." She snapped at him again.

Suzaku could feel the heat rising in his face. It wasn't like he'd purposefully 'slipped up.' This wasn't his fault. It couldn't be his fault—and yet it was his fault. Completely, he knew it was his fault and he knew that Cornelia could see right through him.

"Then what exactly would you have me do to fix that?" Suzaku didn't realize he'd snarled until it was out of his mouth.

The silence then hit them both.

Suzaku's mouth fell back open. A hard swallow and widening of eyes marked as fear flooded all spaces of his brain, accompanied by the return of common sense. Or at least that was the ultimate hope, that in the return, common sense would return. Maybe if Suzaku was lucky it would be back to stay.

His mouth still open he just started to talk, through that open mouth. "I—I'm sorry. That was uncalled for, I didn't mean, ma'am. That was—I'm really sorry."

That was when the most unexpected of things happened. It was slow but then suddenly Cornelia smiled. "Don't bother, Major."

She sat as perfect as ever and just smiled—or maybe smirked, Suzaku wasn't sure he could tell the difference any longer. It was probably because he'd never seen Cornelia have any facial expression past content and all the way down to utter distain, like a five to a ten range on the scale of unhappy.

"We all have limits. Unfortunately for you, I believe you haven't reached yours yet." Cornelia looked away then writing one last thing out on that note and holding it out over the desk.

Suzaku looked at it for a moment, before leaning forward and taking the note. It was folded, so he couldn't see what was written on it.

Somewhere in his mind he had the inkling that this may be crossing some kind of line somehow. Then again, it was Cornelia—so he wasn't sure if that meant there was some very strict lines or if that meant there was no such thing as lines.

"You're dismissed." Cornelia's gruff and callas manner was immediately back as she looked back down to the paperwork on her desk.

"Yes, ma'am." Suzaku seceded immediately and stood. He was being given an escape so like hell was he going to pass up on it.

Once he was back in his own office, Suzaku stared down at the phone number written on the small post-it note. He gave a sigh, but knowing he would face worse consequences if he didn't call, he flipped open his cell phone, dialed the number, and pressed the phone to his ear.

Put Line Here

When Lelouch knocked on the apartment door he hitched the messenger bag just a bit more up on his shoulder. He'd come right after school since he didn't have work and had-quite ashamed and a bit disgusted to admit it- no desire to go home he'd gone to the next best place.

There was the rattle of locks before the door was opened and Suzaku's smile was Lelouch's greeter. Lelouch leaned up for a kiss.

The hasty press to his cheek wasn't what he had expected. Watching as Suzaku was already turning back to his bedroom, Lelouch couldn't quite stifle the sneer that was forming on his face.

"Come on in," Suzaku finally said, with a brief look over his shoulder.

One favorable aspect was that Suzaku had his shirt off, Lelouch mused to himself as he closed Suzaku's front door and set his school bag down in a chair at the table. He took his time, even checking to make sure his school uniform was safely tucked away in the school bag where Suzaku wouldn't chance to see it. Then Lelouch removed his jacket and even went to Suzaku's fridge to get a Pepsi. It wasn't like Suzaku was in a big hurry to get Lelouch's attention anyway.

By the time he sauntered his way back to Suzaku's bedroom, the soldier was charging back out of the room.

"Does this look nice?" He asked a bit desperate as he presented himself. He was finishing up buttoning the cuffs on a dark plum shirt he now wore with his pressed black slacks.

"Not as good as you do without a shirt," Lelouch mumbled as he took a drink from the can of Pepsi.

Suzaku's brow furrowed. Then he made the face.

Immediately, Lelouch understood. That was the stressed face. It was always a weird mixture of emotions coming out in a look of confusion and annoyance. Lelouch didn't even know if Suzaku knew he made that face when he was stressed.

But with that cleared up, Lelouch knew his snarky comments weren't going to be appreciated. "Where are you going?" It was something he needed to clear up before he knew how he could help Suzaku best. He stepped up to straighten Suzaku's collar.

"I have a dinner to go to for work." Suzaku explained, frowning as he tugged at the collar that Lelouch had just fixed.

Lelouch nodded. It went unsaid that this was clearly important. "Well, it's better to be well dressed than under dressed. Do you have a tie?" The outfit needed one. And a suit coat.

Completely willing to hand this over to Lelouch, Suzaku nodded in submission and started back to the bedroom again.

Once Lelouch entered after him he was pleased to see that there was a suit coat waiting on a hanger. The hanger was balanced on the edge of the doorframe to the private bathroom, but Lelouch couldn't be too picky.

"Uhm," Suzaku frowned as he started to look thought his drawers for a tie.

Lelouch stepped up, setting his Pepsi down on the top of the dresser. The source of the problem was rooted in the fact the Suzaku didn't seem to have any organizational skills. Lelouch reached into the drawer of everything pretty much to fish out a. Couple of ties. He tossed one back into the drawer, noting to organize later.

He swatted Suzaku hands away before he looped the tie over Suzaku's head and started on a knot that would be impressive, yet subtly. It wasn't typical, but it wasn't out reaching unless one looked close enough to realize it was a double knot instead of the typical tie knot. Lelouch then handed over the suit coat.

"Put it on," he hummed before he picked up the Pepsi again and started to take another drink.

"But that will be really hot!" Suzaku whined.

"It makes you look more professional." Lelouch growled. "Put on an extra layer of deodorant and suck it up." He rolled his eyes. Honestly sometimes Suzaku was such a baby!

Reluctant, Suzaku slipped his arms into the suit coat and shrugged his shoulders as if he was already uncomfortable.

"Button it up," Lelouch scolded as he gestured with his Pepsi.

With a grumbled huff, Suzaku did as he was told, buttoning the suit up.

Much better, Lelouch though as he smiled, smugness oozing, as he took another drink. The suit coat was exactly as fitted as Lelouch would have liked, but buttoning it up made it look more fitting around Suzaku's waist. He looked like a competent force not to be reckoned with at the very least. And Lelouch wasn't below taking the credit for it.

"Take a taxi," Lelouch said as he noticed that Suzaku was hunting for his wallet and keys. Knowing that oblivious boy, Suzaku would take the bus, just for the fact that it was cheaper.

"I have to, " Suzaku growled back at him. "I'm already running late." He turned to that bedroom door the instant he had his wallet into his suit coat inside pocket.

Lelouch followed of course.

It was clear that Suzkau didn't care if Lelouch stayed in his apartment as he found his keys on the kitchen counter and headed straight to the door.

"Suzaku!" Lelouch hissed as he came up to the kitchen table. His eyes must have been blazing as he set that Pepsi back done. Because _really?_ Was Suzaku really just going to leave without even a second glance at him? His hand was already on the god damn door knob even!

Suzaku must have realized his mistake, but him making up for it wasn't that much of a relief, Lelouch observed. He rushed to give Lelouch another hasty kiss before he was already back at the door.

"Sorry Lelouch, I just really have to go." He explained as he pulled the door open and dashed out, "I'll see you later."

And that's all Lelouch was left with. Standing there alone in Suzaku's kitchen, Lelouch was just left there. His brow furrowed as he tried to possess what had just come to light.

He took another drink of Pepsi as his thoughts whirled. Suzkau was under stress, but what was-Suzkau had never just brushed Lelouch off like that, even when he was stressed.

Lelouch turned to the fridge. He opened reaching into it before he realized what he had been doing. This wasn't the typical times he was at Suzaku's apartment. There would be no reason to make a meal here, at least not now.

He pulled his hand back, and let the fridge door close. He looked down to the floor for a minute just breathing.

When he looked up he slowly gathered his things. He left the Pepsi on the table as he left. It had been a while since he'd been in the company of friends anyway. So why stay somewhere he was basically useless, when C.c. would at least have a dialog with him?

* * *

By the time Suzaku stepped out of the cab, he was nervous enough that his palms were slick with sweat. His entire job was on the line for this dinner and he hated it. There wasn't much that Suzaku could do to make up for being late to his appointment anyway.

He rushed to the doors, his mouth was already open as he approached the hostess.

And she was already smiling sweetly as she greeted him. "Major Kururugi, we've been expecting you." Her red lipped smile was as wide and forcibly polite as possible.

Suzaku felt as his brow puckered. He hadn't ever met her.

But she was already gesturing him to follow her. "This way please,"

His questions were then pointless he figured as he quickly followed on her heels. As soon as he could get to the table the better, after all.

She showed him through the main dining hall, filled with people before she started up the grand staircase to the balcony overlooking the main floor of the establishment.

Suzaku would have been more than satisfied just to amaze at the grandiose feeling of the establishment as he went. The gold inlaid into all the intricate carvings, framing what looked like hand painted panels and the carpet alone was rich reds, lined in more metallic gleams of gold. Suzaku swallowed, and hoped that there was at least something on the menu he could afford. Then again he was late so maybe he'd just get a water.

Lelouch was at home and would probably wrap up a dinner for him to eat later anyway. Lelouch was always thoughtful like that, Suzkau mused to himself. He came off as self-centered, but when he cared about someone, Lelouch turned nurturing. Suzkau reminded himself he'd have to thank Lelouch with something later.

The woman gestured him to follow her still back towards one of the balconies, Suzaku nodded to her overly eager smile before he followed a bit closer behind again.

"Suzaku!"

His head shot up at the sound of that voice. And he had to make sure his jaw didn't hang uselessly open for a minute as he made eye contact with his old partner.

"Gino?" Suzkau said it more to himself this time and he realized his friend was seated at the larger round table that was the same table Suzaku was intended for.

That huge smile on that giant's face was one Suzaku hadn't realized how much he had missed.

And then Suzaku was forced to stop as another towering man turned in his seat to look at Suzaku. Mid step, the glacier blue eyes made contact with him and Suzaku almost felt like ice shot through his veins. Then a pleasant smile spread on the mans sculpted features as he gestured to the table. "Major, please join us, we were just finished up ordering for you. Lieutenant Weinberg said that you wouldn't mind."

Much to his shame, his jaw hung there for a moment just as useless as ever before he scrambled to a seat next to Gino and managed to mumble, "Uh right, thank you... Sir..." He wasn't sure what to call him anyway. He was already amazed at the way the man had so casually acknowledged that Suzaku was late and yet he just swept it away with that pleasant smile somewhere all with in what Suzaku thought was he same sentence.

With that same smile the man abruptly stood then, "Oh my apologies, I haven't actually introduced myself to you, Major,"

A jab to his ribs made Suzaku shoot up a well to his feet. He would have shot a glance down at Gino if those icey blue eyes weren't already demanding his attention.

The man held a hand out to Suzaku. It was huge. Literally. Suzaku had never exactly been a small guy. He'd managed, despite his Japanese father to reach the six foot mark, barely but he'd done it around his last growth spurt in his early twenties. But his height Suzaku knew was never his strong point. He was broad and stout and built like a second generation Japanese wall. But he was a freaking tooth pick to this man.

"I'm Schneizel el Britannia, Cornelia's elder brother." He outstretched his hand even further.

Suzaku swallowed as he took the hand. Thinking to himself that this must be the reason that Cornelia looked like a freaking Amazon. The entire family must be towering and huge and frightening. Only these people. Only people who could instill fear and as just seen hope with just a couple of words all the way down to Suzaku's soul must be built like this They just needed such a large stature to contain all the power they could exhort over others.

"Uh, Suzaku—Kururugi," He added his last name knowing that this was formal. He was still hot from practically sprinting from the taxi and hurrying to keep up with that woman.

This smile that spread was smooth, like spreading warm butter, it came to Schneizel's face just that easy. "Very pleased to meet you. My sister has spoken quite highly of you as well as our family friend, Bismarck."

Suzaku swallowed again, gulped was probably better terminally to what he actually did. Friends in high places and places Suzaku was very involved in could be a good thing or an awful thing. He might get a promotion tonight or he might lose his job. The worst was that this kind of pressure was so different than the kind of pressure Suzaku loved. He loved the life threatening pressure. It was like a cool calm washed over him in those moments. He had objectives and he could act single mindedly then. Just get it done was the simplest way to put his train of thought under the pressure that was the greatest adrenaline rush Suzaku ever felt.

There was a firm shake to his hand before Schneizel took up his seat again. Following his example Suzaku sat as well. This time as he did he made a point to look at the four other people around the table. He knew none of them. He glanced at his former partner and quickly started to take cues from his friend and meeting the others there with a pleasant smile as conversation sparked up again.

* * *

He'd learned the names of the other four people by the end of the meal. They were researchers the most notable was probably the Duke, or as he preferred to be called Dr. Lloyd Ashplund. The other more notable was an Indian woman named Rakshata. Between the two of them seemed to be most of the conversation—or argument. It was about half way through the meal that Suzaku realized that this was a business meeting.

Of course it wasn't like any business meeting Suzaku had been to before in his entire life. Schneizel had a way of bending –no, dancing. The man treated it exactly like it was a dance around exactly what he wanted. It had worked as well, with in minutes Schneizel had found a way to pick out who he still wanted at the table and who he didn't. Two of the researchers had become insignificant within minutes of talking about their subjects. And somehow, Suzaku was still trying to catch up, Schneizel had made it as if the rejected researchers weren't even there and yet Suzaku still knew that they sat with them at the table.

Then Suzaku had been offered a drink and because he had a headache trying to keep up he'd taken it. And all hope was lost. He wasn't drunk, not even close. But with one drink of something with kick and Suzaku was numbed enough he didn't bother to try and keep up the play by plays. All he knew was that by the end of the night, he was pretty sure that Dr. Ashplund had won the business deal—or Schneizel had twisted it around so it sounded like it was a competition and that he had won. Suzaku stopped thinking about it.

And then they were all standing up and leaving. Suzaku wasn't sure why he had even been there but taking another cue from Gino he happily shook hands and smiled and went along with whatever was wanted from him.

Then there was a very large hand that came down on his shoulder. Suzaku felt his muscles froze as Schneizel made a casual offer to have a drink with Suzaku at the bar, as if it was just the end of the night's last call and that he just wanted to have friendly conversation.

By then, Suzaku had known better and he gave an affirmative.

He hadn't expected the drink to be so—private. He'd been given what tasted like bourbon after they had entered a small room, this one about twice as exquisite and richly decorated. It was more or a spacious parlor than a bar, Suzaku noticed but he stayed silent as Schneizel ordered a drink for himself.

"My sister had quite a few things to say about you, Suzaku." Schneizel said as he took a seat in one of the arm chairs.

It was amazing but Suzaku, even being the one standing didn't feel like he had any higher ground in this situation. He realized that Schneizel's cool composure was one to wait out a response from Suzaku. So he just sort of opened his mouth. "The Coronel is a—" what? He glanced to the side, searching for something to say. "the two of you are nothing alike."

That beckoned a deep rolling chuckle from Schneizel. "Why yes I imagine the comparison is quite stark." There was another flash of glacier eye, "She is a very strong woman, and she shows it through her entire demeanor."

"That's one way of putting it," Suzaku mumbled into his drink as he lifted it for another sip. He realized after saying it that it was probably the wrong thing to say. Eyes just slightly wider skirted to Schneizel's face.

There was a look of amusement that met him.

Suzaku was nowhere near relief though. He set his drink down on s side table. Drinking more and clouding his judgment and loosening his tongue weren't wise at the moment. He wasn't even sure why he was there any longer. Him or Gino for that matter! He hadn't even been given a chance to ask Gino what on earth he was doing here.

There was a pause, one that Suzaku wasn't finding comfortable. He shifted on his feet, but he wasn't sure he was allowed to sit down or not. He wasn't sure if he even needed permission. Should he ask?

This was the effect that the Britannian's had. Suzaku was starting to be completely convinced that that entire family must have some super power that was called pure dominance. They walked in a room and anyone there wondered if they should bow. It was crippling if they willed it and evne when they weren't swilling anything at all it was just there, in the room, making Suzaku stress and wonder if he was really safe as major. A freaking Major! He had job security at least until he walked into the same room as Britannia and then he wasn't sure that he had anything for sure that they couldn't rip away from him.

"You know, Suzaku, I don't know many people that know how to tie a knot like that."

Suzaku's eyes shot up. He was confused for a second before Schenizel gestured to his black tie.

"I'm sure it's not easy." Schneizel said with a pleasant tone.

Looking down, Suzaku figured he should just admit to the truth. "It wasn't me." _Where did that drink go again?,_ he asked himself. "I—" well might as well admit it now. He had commanders that knew I so why not this man? "My boyfriend is really helpful with stuff like this. He tied the knot. I'd have no idea how to do it." He gave a chuckle. Listening to it come out of his own mouth, he knew it sounded nothing close to natural.

There was that amused look back on Schneizel's face. "Oh really?" there was another smile. "Tell me more about him."

Suzaku hand was twitching back to that drink when he was startled again. "What?"

"Your significant other, I'd like to hear about him." Schneisl took a drink himself.

Suzaku took his hand off the glass as he tried to figure out what exactly it was that Schneizel wanted to know. "Well, he's…" what cold he tell? Then again what really did he know about Lelouch that Lelouch would feel betrayed if he told to someone? The answer was nothing. "He's younger than me, in college right now."

"Studying?" It was amazing how intrigued Schneizel manage to sound.

"Uh.." Suzaku stopped, realizing—he didn't know. He looked back down to the floor. He shook his head., trying to brush it off with a shaky smile. "I honestly don't know. I know he's probably told me. I must have forgotten." He gave a nervous laugh. That was a lie. He'd never asked Lelouch what he was studying. Lelocuh had never offered, but what was worse—Suzkua had never asked him.

Schneizel's brow rose in question.

Suzaku glanced away quickly again. He tried to think of something else to say about Lelocuh. His mind was—blank. He dint know. His brow furrowed as he realized, he didn't know anything. He didn't know how many siblings Lelocuh had, or if any. He dint know what year in school Lelouch was, he didn't know what Lelcouh wanted to be outside of school. He didn't know Lelocuh favorite—well anything. They had to have talked before though—at the restraint! They talked on their first date a lot at the restraint.

There was a frown that now tugged at Suzaku's lips. What had he ever learned on that date? Lelouch liked chess…. And he liked Suzaku. Suzaku eyes were shifting quickly as he tried to think of anything that he really knew beyond the chess and the common attraction towards each other. Had they even talked, Suzaku asked himself. It was as if they didn't even have anything in common!

Suzaku glanced up, Schneizel had a smile on, it was smile but it wasn't a smile.

Shaking his head, Suzaku cleared his mind. And just knew he had to stop this. "Sir, if you don't mind, what am I doing here?"

That caused another smile. "You were here tonight for my own entrepreneurial sake." Schneizel took a drink. "There needed to be a certain," he paused to search for the words, then it was there just as quick, "Kind of persuasion there at that table tonight. You and Mr. Weinberg did splendidly." He added the last with another smile into his drink. When he set the glass down he went on. "I would like to find out a few things from you though."

The room was very still this time as Suzaku closed his mouth, waiting for a moment before he spoke. "What do I have-?" what could he ever offer a Britannian?

Schneizel just le that amused look flash back onto his face. "I'm curious. For one, I'm very curious about you."

Standing there, Suzaku shoved his hand into his pocket, trying to stop himself from going for that bourbon on the table. His eyes narrowed just a touch.

And the change in expression must have been enough because Schneizel was off again, speaking in that level, and rich tone again. "Of course I'm not going to make you do anything Suzaku. I'm not here to present myself as your enemy. If anything I want to help you."

The use of his first name somehow, seemed like a token. A token of what exactly, Suzaku wasn't sure but it was certainly something.

"Bismarck, tells me that you're a great soldier." Schneizel still went on. "I've heard the same from my sister." There was another dazzling smile. "Trust me, Suzaku. I can assure you that you won't regret it."

Suzaku wasn't sure what there was to say.

"We're here to make you better." Schneizel was practically made the word sound like a soothing charm caste over Suzaku. "If anything we want to make you a better man, a better soldier."

Licking his lips, Suzaku managed to pull his gaze away to look to the door. Then he looked to the floor again.

"Well," Schneizel said as he stood. "I'm sure we can discuss this later. Your significant other must be waiting for you."

Suzaku was desperate for the escape this time. "Uh, uhm yeah, he's probably at my apartment still." If he was lucky Lelouch would spend the night again and there would be his cooking in the fridge and—and Suzaku wanted to ask a few questions of his own tonight.

The carpet muffled Schneizel's steps as he approached Suzaku. He let his hand rest on Suzaku's shoulder and gave it a pat as a softer smile spread on his lips. "We should let you go home to him then."

Nodding, Suzaku turned to the door.

"Suzaku?" that smooth voice rang out again.

Twisting, Suzaku still let his body face the door as he looked back. He didn't want to get pulled back into this. He wasn't sure how to—he wasn't sure of anything with Schneizel. It scared him and it was—comforting. He liked having someone that just gave orders, even if it was just with their manner and the way they held themselves Suzaku liked to have a chance just to be a soldier again. But since when was questions and talking a part of being a good soldier?

"I like talking to you." Schneizel stated. "You will join me again for dinner, say Thursday night?" It was hard to tell if it was a statement of fact or a real question. The first part of wanting to have dinner again wasn't an option, maybe it was the day that was the option...

Balking for an answer, Suzaku furiously tried to think of the right thing to say. Those cold eyes were telling him the right answer, but could he really, could he trust Schneizel? Could he trust the Britannian's? It felt like he was being warped into being one of them. And yet, wasn't he already? Bismarck was clearly knee deep in this family. Suzaku could at least put that much to get to know that Bismack was heavily involved in this family. So why not Suzaku?

And Suzaku just wanted orders. He wanted simple orders. And Looking in those eyes Suzaku knew he'd get exactly what he wanted in the end.

"Yes," Suzaku quickly added, "Sir."

The smile this time held something Suzaku didn't recognize. "Splendid. I'll have my secretary get a hold of you with time and place just as she did for tonight."

* * *

When Suzaku opened his apartment door he found a cold apartment. He saw the Pepsi first, still three fourths of the way full and left on his table. Suzaku already knew, he just—he went straight to the fridge. There wasn't a plate wrapped up for him at all. He checked his voice mail, he checked ever surface in the apartment for that note. He went to the bedroom and the living room and everywhere else.

In the end, he came back to the Kitchen and realized the only thing Lelouch left for him was the open pop can on the table.

Suzaku felt a twinge in his chest. It was sharp and hollow—and it hurt. His hand shaky he picked up the Pepsi. There was nothing in the apartment that was even Lelouch's and they'd been dating for how long? At least two months. And there wasn't honestly a thing of Lelouch's in the apartment?

Suzaku took a drink from the Pepsi. It was the most he could have of Lelouch at the moment—and it was lukewarm and flat. Suzaku throat tightened up, and he set the can back down. It was a bit bitter, or at least the realizations coming with it were.

* * *

"So how's your little school boy?" Kouzaki's snarky comment reached Suzaku ears far too early that morning.

"Excuse me?" Suzaku looked up from his desk. He was buried in more paper work and somehow he wasn't doing the best job of digging himself out this time. He had pen in hand as he looked up at the Private leaning in to his office.

She tossed her hair over her shoulder before giving him a sneer. "You know, your little college toy, how's he doing?"

Suzaku looked up at her. Did he even dare to answer? "Lelouch is fine." He decided on that was the best course of action. Keep it simple and get rid of the snarky bitch.

"I'm sure your little Bio Engineer is swamped with homework, isn't he?" Kouzaki jabbed again. " I mean it's finals in like a week, right?"

"Bio Engineer?" Suzaku said. Finals? What the hell was she talking about?

She looked confused this time, crossing her arms over her chest. "Yeah, he told me he was a Biological Engineering Major."

"He told you his major?" Suzaku was pretty sure that had been shot out a her a bit too quickly. But Suzaku didn't care. Why would Lelouch tell her? He'd never even mentioned his major to Suzaku! He never mentioned anything about himself to Suzaku! Suzaku set down the paper in his hand when he started to hear it crinkle as his fisted hand.

Kouzaki rolled her eyes. "Don't be so possessive golden boy, it was just a friendly conversation." She sauntered her way out of the office as if their conversation had clearly turned on her completely.

Suzaku was just left there, alone. And he hated it.


End file.
